Opinion, right?
I'm a MixedBag -- CP, NCP, Step-CP (though those two are emancipated now) and step-NCP. (mom)
As a CP, I never saw my two girls pick up the phone and call their dad. It just was't high on their priority list (and he didn't call either that much). However, and I can say this because the oldest is 19 now, their overall relationship didn't suffer (and I say it's because I encouraged them to still love their dad and make time for him -- no PAS whatsoever). I explained over the years, that even though I don't love him, they still could. It was like this all of their friends didn't get along with each other, but they still had them as friends, just not in the same circle at the same time.
I think it worked well for them (and for me).
As an NCP, I never get a phone call from my son out of the blue. He MIGHT return my phone call, but that's about it. And I don't call much either. I see him once a month (he's 12-hours away), and that works real well for us.
As an step-NCP, Dad gets a phone call once in a blue moon, but again not too often and not on a consistent basis.
It's our opinion that both CP's to our sons don't allow the boys to love both sides of the family. Now it has gotten better over the years, but a lot of that has to do with them getting older and asking more questions and the CPs (probably) being afraid to "loose" them (because that's what happened to two of
DH's kids and the two EXs of ours talk).
I really don't agree with the fact that you've connected "not calling" with privileges at your home over the weekend. That just bugs me.
You know, you make the comment that the minute they leave the house, you cease to exist....well, I could say that too when my girls would go out with their friends....sometimes they "forgot" all the rules of this house (and suffered the consequences). But I don't think phoning you should be one of those consequences. (You've already had one parent talk to you that disagreed too, right?)
At that age, they think a lot of just themselves....and then when the CP doesn't help matters....yep, it makes things worse.
What about e-mail? Mine hung out on the computer a lot and e-mail would have been one way, or chatting another.
Unfortunately right now, both of our sons are not allowed to have e-mail or chat....but in time, that might change too.
I'm not sure PAS is going on either -- when you read the articles, PAS includes the kids really lashing out at you (cussing and all) AND not talking to you at all. How much of it is just typical teen behavior where they are pushing you away? Too many people scream PAS too fast and that's not the case. Read the "Malicious Mother Syndrome" article and change the "Mom" to "Dad" in your head as you read that. It might be more on target.
Good luck!