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Author Topic: What a mess ;(  (Read 1688 times)

I cry_ in_the_dark

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What a mess ;(
« on: Dec 04, 2003, 01:50:05 PM »
To keep a long story as short as possible at this point, I will list a few pieces of my recent custody order, which was nothing but a joke from the get go. Dad was awarded custody on unsubstantiated lies and an incompetant lawyer on my part.

"Father indicated he would very freely let the children go to mother's house and would encourage visitation with mother. Father is found to be credible in his assertions."

"The parties agree that the children shall always be permitted to telephone the non-custodial parent when desired..."

"Father indicated his willingness to participate in family therapy with the children."

"Father is now working with **John Doe**  and is cooperating with Son's care." (**John Doe** is my son's Mobile Therapist.

"Neither party shall make derogatory comments about each other in the prescence of the children and shall dooperate and communicate with each other concerning the welfare of the children..."

In three short weeks, here are some very opposite's of the order:
The first week, my daughter was intending to ask her dad to come visit me, but my son asked first.(There is a week long gap every other week from Wednesday to Tuesday that I do not get to see them at all.) My son was told no, they could not come to visit me, they would get to see me three days next week.

My X has removed my son from his ADHD meds without consulting me.(I still have joing legal custody.) As well, he has NOT been in contact with **John Doe** who is my sons Mobile Therapist.

My son was not enrolled in the Elementary wrestling program even after a phone call from me. He has been in the program the last two years, although last year, he was only there every other week...the weeks he was with me. He did very well in this program and the coaches believed he had a promising future. My son also wished to play football this year and Dad did not allow it.

My daughter informed me that dad said I  was a mixed up girl and had problems. (A lengthy on-line chat has much more, saved and recorded.)

On Thanksgiving Day, my X fell and broke his ribs and was hospitalized. My daughter called me when I had returned them at 9 pm upset that they were being forced to go to their grandparents house when she wished to spend the night with me. Her grandmother requested that she not tell me that her dad had fallen and broken his ribs.

Last week, my daughter called me crying her eyes out because she said dinner was disgusting and she was hungry. During the conversation, my X's new wife got on a phone extention and said, " This is all YOUR fault. You don't feed your kids and have men over in the middle of the night! (my daughter was listening still.) She then instructed my daughter to get off the phone as she had to use it. My daughter informed me that when she did hang up, the new wife did NOT use the phone.

My son was grounded last week for telling his father he wanted to visit me more and live with me too as he had before.

My daughter asked if she could come spend about an hour with me when my X took my son to boyscouts. She was told no, she was also told if she didn't stop the "attitude"  and stop her crying that he would go back to court so that she didn't see me at all.

My daughter had a music concert this week. My son requested he be allowed to sit with me, but was not allowed. As my X needed to leave to go play Darts at the bar, my daughter asked that I be allowed to drive her home. It was not allowed.

My daughter is in Spirit Club. She couldn't attend today because nobody could take her home. I told her I would take her home. She told me that I am not allowed, as dad had called the school and informed them that under NO circumstances am I allowed to take them off of school property.

Sorry so long, and actually, I could add more for the 3 short weeks.

1. Does any of this give me a leg to stand on to fight the court order that was so outrageous to begin with?

2. If yes......what do I do???

3. Being that this is a "two party" state for electronic monitoring...If my daughter knows the conversation is being recorded and the call is interupted on an extention....is that usable?


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RE: What a mess ;(
« Reply #1 on: Dec 06, 2003, 07:52:38 AM »
>1. Does any of this give me a leg to stand on to fight the
>court order that was so outrageous to begin with?

Depends on whether your kids are mature enough to competently testify to the actions of the custodial parent. It's a double-edged sword, because the only way to get your evidence on the record is for the children to testify to it, and the court will view you as a very hostile parent if you bring the kids to court to testify, unless their testimony is about a very serious matter, e.g., physical abuse.

The custodial parent has the right to determine the child(ren)'s day to day activities.

>2. If yes......what do I do???

If you can show that the CP is acting routinely and affirmatively against the children's best interests, then you can move to modify custody. But, it would need to be some very serious stuff after only three weeks. I don't think you have the kind of evidence to support a modification -- yet.

>3. Being that this is a "two party" state for electronic
>monitoring...If my daughter knows the conversation is being
>recorded and the call is interupted on an extention....is that

If a person interrupts an on-going telephone conversation between two other people, that person likely impliedly consents to the recording of the conversation, because he/she knows that the conversation is not private.

I don't think there's any precedential case law on this issue, but I'd say that if the daughter knew of the recording, then the interrupting parent is consenting by interrupting.



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