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Author Topic: Help  (Read 1308 times)

For the children

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Help
« on: Aug 28, 2004, 09:56:17 PM »
I miss my daughter.  I miss the daughter that would eat and always had a glow to her eyes.  I miss the daughter that missed me more than she does now.  This job keeps me really busy, especially since I am on call.  My wife and I work together as a management team running a rural housing apartment complex.  She does the office and I do the maintenance.  We get a yearly salary of 18,000.00 combined.  We have been through quite a bit.  She grew up with her grandmother.  Her mother was never around and won't tell her about her father.  I grew up with my mother and my step-father.  Seeing them and having them as some what of a role model did influence some mistakes that I have made, because now I see that I can be a great role model in my son and daughters life.  I want to be in my daughters life so bad, but her mom doesn't let me see her.  So many things are going on and I need to put my foot down instead of bottling it up inside.  This negativity has become my motivation to complete everything I need to get done in order to get custody or at least joint custody of my daughter.  If you have any advice or encouraging words, we would truly appreciate it. I want my son to know his sister and be close to her like they should be, she gets to see her other sister, why not her brother?
Abel_tiawna


Brent

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RE: Help
« Reply #1 on: Aug 29, 2004, 07:33:13 AM »
It would be a big help if you could tell us what you want to have happen (what you want to accomplish) plus some specifics of your situation. i.e. where you are, how far from your child you are, what you decree states, etc.


>I miss my daughter.  I miss the daughter that would eat and
>always had a glow to her eyes.  I miss the daughter that
>missed me more than she does now.  This job keeps me really
>busy, especially since I am on call.  My wife and I work
>together as a management team running a rural housing
>apartment complex.  She does the office and I do the
>maintenance.  We get a yearly salary of 18,000.00 combined.
>We have been through quite a bit.  She grew up with her
>grandmother.  Her mother was never around and won't tell her
>about her father.  I grew up with my mother and my
>step-father.  Seeing them and having them as some what of a
>role model did influence some mistakes that I have made,
>because now I see that I can be a great role model in my son
>and daughters life.  I want to be in my daughters life so bad,
>but her mom doesn't let me see her.  So many things are going
>on and I need to put my foot down instead of bottling it up
>inside.  This negativity has become my motivation to complete
>everything I need to get done in order to get custody or at
>least joint custody of my daughter.  If you have any advice or
>encouraging words, we would truly appreciate it. I want my son
>to know his sister and be close to her like they should be,
>she gets to see her other sister, why not her brother?
>Abel_tiawna

motivator

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RE: Help
« Reply #2 on: Aug 29, 2004, 02:40:51 PM »
I agree with brent.  Need some more info like what EXACTLY is the current arrangement and how long has it been in place?  Is the current arrangement court ordered or has it just evolved over time?

http://www.justicedenied.info

For the children

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RE: Help
« Reply #3 on: Aug 30, 2004, 12:21:55 PM »
Specifics:child and custodial parent live in Clovis, which is 19 miles away from Portales, where we live.  
 
father and custodial parent were never married, although he was with custodial mother from pregnancy until child was 1 1/2years.  Left apartment to custodial parent and paid rent until she moved out to live with fathers mother.  After father decided to get married, custodial parent filed for child support and didn't let father see him up until recently.  

Father's faults, arrested 2 times for battery on a household member (wife)- pushing, no hitting, just pushing and threats both times.  But he was not allowed visitation before any of this ever happened.

Excuse then- mother did not want daughter getting close with "evil" step-mom. (who has no record, is attending college, never been arrested, and is the manager of an apartment complex)
Excuse now- (father has completed anger management course, family attends family and couples counceling, taking parenting classes, working) She doesn't want daughter around any violence.

Father grew up seeing his mom and step father fight, argue everything.  He has made a huge 360 and has many references from boss to councelors- Only two charges on his record.

Mother's profile- in all honesty- 2 children recieves child support from both fathers.  Recieves TANF welfare, does not work, recieves HUD, does not live in her HUD house, pays rent and lets aunt and aunt's child live there. Mom kicks her out, or tells her go home, she goes to grandmas, grandma's gets tired of her, she goes to dad's in Portales, Dad gets tired she goes to my mother in laws, mother in law gets fed up with the laziness and she goes back to moms and so on and so forth.
Issue of violence: at custodial parents mother's, her mom's boyfriend was arrested for sexual molestation, also mother and boyfriend are constantly fighting and arguing.  

Child's profile: doesn't eat anything but sweets.  Complaints from mother and mother in law that child throws fits at bedtime and child constantly throws up.  Child cries for father, and scratches her chest.        

gipsy

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RE: Help
« Reply #4 on: Aug 30, 2004, 11:28:28 PM »
You need to write what the legal status is , Is there a parenting plan signed off at the court ? If so file contempt , And don;t deviate , Heres the basic's . You have to have a parenting plan in order to get a contempt , If you don;t then they are in contempt of what court order ? If you let this go on it will get worse , Here's a  encouraging story ,  
My co-worker was having the same problem as You , I have been through this also , So I ecouraged Him forever to file contempt , He had a parenting plan And The Mom , was saying the child didn't want to come over to co-worker [dads] , And doing some bending and twisting on the child about it , so  As Is typical When the mom wins this and You do nothing then Mom has time to Alienate , Its all spelled out on this site , So I had a cool atty and My co-worker went to see Atty , Atty wrote up the contempt papers and told Co worker what to expect , Wich was that the commissioner won't do much on a contempt for a few times , But Mom has to show Or hire an atty or you get to file a default , So co-worker finally files contempt , I wanted to help, Mom sets the pick up at her sisters house,  I know the game , And I went with a Video camera , With out a huge story , TRUST ME the video camera Has never been shown In my case at court or at any hearing that I know Of, its just a huge behavior modifier , So the transfer was tyhe typical mess the child was crying etc , And sister and her hubby were trying to act like tough guy's , So I told My co-worker You may have to drag the child away screaming and crying , And he did , So When sister Was watching us drive away ,   I gave a big smile and waved to them ,She did the class act of flipping us off , which was the perfect, so I put the video camera on her ,  I could read the husbands lips , Saying video camera , And the sister put the nasty finger down right away , My co-workers problem is over , Why ? I think because they screwed up , then, of course I bet they asked an atty what the results could be of flipping us of,f and the atty told them to grow up , Ya see the Camera keeps the lies down to a minimum , And seems to keep them all calm and a bit suspicious of what may come of it , In My case I  used the video camera And the BS stopped , Of course there were nasty atty letters about privacy and legal action ,But the laws in Washington state are You can film out in the open , But not in some tricky way to observe into there house where the normal cloak of privacy is expected , So that the short and sweet of it , I believe filing contempt and video camera use , Makes them realise they are busted , Although I hear that the camera film will rarely make it to court and  hasn't ever to My knowledge . But a threatening statement like I'll show this to the judge seems to be effective , Besides the camera seems to limit the  chance of a physical confrontation , TAKE ACTION OR TAKE THE BACK SEAT !!  At this point I almost laugh when I hear some one say , " Mom Won't let me see the kids " My atty explians ' Parenting plans are not self enforcing ' If they don't do it then you have to ask the judge or commissioner to enforce the plan , And the papers really just ask the commissioner to make mom give you the kid , And then Mom will have a flimsy excuse and the commisoner won't really do much untill  the third or fourth time , then they will , I would call 20 atty's tomarrow with a note pad in hand and get a cool one that will fill out the papers and tell you how to file and have mom served and then you go tell the commissioner , That you want to se your kid and mom isn;t cooperating , And thats all you really have to do in wash state , post again more info


Peanutsdad

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RE: Help
« Reply #5 on: Aug 31, 2004, 02:14:42 AM »
Hoss, yer like the old '69 camero I had, lotta noise, lotta smoke, lotta tire spinnin, never gettin anywhere.


1. What exactly is the legal status right now? ie; do you have court ordered visitation?

2. Are you seeking counseling for your battery issues? Or have you been ordered to?

3. Drop the emotions. You wont get anywhere legally with em. Are you just here to howl at the moon about life's injustices that have been heaped on ya? Or are you here to see what you can do to improve your childs lot in life?


4. So far the ONLY issue you have brought up that is actionable that I've seen is the possibility of child being around a child molester. The rest is your judgement call.


5. What has transpired in court to date?



Now, if you just wanna piss and moan,, by all means, be my guest, I'll simply avoid your posts. Self pity is self defeating.

 

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