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Author Topic: Need some guidance  (Read 770 times)

BothSides

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Need some guidance
« on: Feb 09, 2005, 10:19:32 AM »
Ok, heres the facts:
Q's are all regarding my fiance's situation.
Son is 19 months old

They werent married or dating when child was born, he is on BC.  Paid CS through a mutual agmt since before childs birth.  Was allowed visitation only with her or while at his mothers house from time of birth until filing of legal visitation exactly one year ago.

Filing for legal visitation was done after they failed to come to an agreement on visitation that would allow him to visit the child without her, and without it being at his mothers house (she had other silly demands too, cyhild couldnt ride ina  vehicle with anyone she didnt approve of, coudlnt be around certain friends of his, etc).  

She was served with papers for legal visitation, and she left the area within 2 days of that.  Case is in Florida, she still lives in FL, but now lives 8 hours away, with child.

She has continually denied visitation.

First hearing was on temporary visitation in April 04, he was awarded one week of visitation a month.  She refused to comply, instead offering him one weekend every other month, then one weekend per month, and finally now every 3rd weekend.

We are on our second attorney.  First attorney refused to file contempts against her, refused to set hearinmg dates, obtain information from her and her attorney, subpoena relevant information (income etc).  
Current attorney is interested only in getting a set visitation schedule for the next 2 years.  

Only other hearing occurred in January (our courts take months to set and have a hearing as it is, and then everything got pushed back again witht he hurricanes), and was a case management hearing due to the frivolous papers her attorney was filing, and to find out what the status was of the case.

At the hearing hte judge entered a stipulation that the two parties agreed on, setting the CS hed been paying, setting visitation (very sketchy, no dates specified, just that he gets 14 weekends per year and 3 one week visitations, which she of course doesnt adhere to).

Since all of this, there have been numerous scenes at the exchanges, we have had to get a court order to even make her meet us half way, she witheld several visitations (including holidays), is currently denying and witholding makeup visitation for those holidays and other weekends.  The list goes on.  

Our current attorney refuses to deal with her or her attorney anymore, adn ew canta fford a new one.  Its been a year and $10k in expenses, mostly defending against the stuff she files and pulls.  Shes filed numerous requests to have his visitation stopped based on things like diaper rashes, or him being returned with a cold, even if he had one when she gave him to us, etc.  Shes also filed numerous requests asking for him t ohave only supervised visitation (with her of course) based on these same things.

Weve spent most of the money defending against those things, objecting to depositions they keep requesting, subpoenas oif things like his email, txt messages, cell phone bills etc (we dont contact her at all, so we dont understand that, unless shes trying to prove that he refuses to respond to her, or ???).  

Theyve objected to every hearing weve tried to have set, theyve requested a change in judge to a magistrate, weve had to object to that.  Every single visitation weekend something happens, she refuses to meet halfway, she asks for gas money, she asks for a cS advance, she witholds visitation at the exchange until he speaks to her about things not concerning the child (usually why he wouldnt marry her, what the child has eaten etc - by court order there is supposed to be NO discussion about anything at the exchange).

So anyways, long story short, and get to the questions.

The child now has bottle rot (tooth decay) that is borderlining severe (resulting from her putting him to bed with a bottle of milk and letting him carry juice in a bottle all day, hes broken from the bottle, and this doesnt happen at our house btw).  She refuses to stop giving juice during the day, but has stopped milk at nighta ccording to her.  His teeth are eroding, and dentists weve talked to say he needs to be seen and treated immediately.

She is refusing to have him seen by a dentist or treated.  We have tried, but we only get him no weekends, and shes denying us makeup visitation so we cant take him to a dentist.

1.  Based on everything do we have a CHANCE on visitation?  
2.  and do we need an attorney (b/c our current atty doesnt want to deal with her or her atty any more, her atty encourages this behavior from her apparantly)?

3.  What can we do about the bottle rot and her denying him medical attnetion/treatment?
4.  Can we exercise our makeup visitation by just not returning him at 9 am on monday morning the next time we have him?
5.  Can we make an appt to have him seen, and not return him on time using his dr appt as the reason?

BTW, our current attys take on it all is to get the visitation signed off on first, and hten file all the contempts, and take it from there on our own, and to just "hope" she gets better, but if she keeps it up, maybe in a year well have enough to ask for custody.

Thanks, any advice is appreciated.

BothSides.


socrateaser

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RE: Need some guidance
« Reply #1 on: Feb 09, 2005, 06:08:57 PM »
>1.  Based on everything do we have a CHANCE on visitation?  

You already have visitation. So, you have more than a chance. I don't really understand your question here.

>2.  and do we need an attorney (b/c our current atty doesnt
>want to deal with her or her atty any more, her atty
>encourages this behavior from her apparantly)?

I don't know if you need an attorney. Most people cannot represent themselves. People who know that they can, usually know who they are.
>
>3.  What can we do about the bottle rot and her denying him
>medical attnetion/treatment?

File a contempt motion.

>4.  Can we exercise our makeup visitation by just not
>returning him at 9 am on monday morning the next time we have
>him?

File a contempt motion

>5.  Can we make an appt to have him seen, and not return him
>on time using his dr appt as the reason?

File a contempt motion.

>
>BTW, our current attys take on it all is to get the visitation
>signed off on first, and hten file all the contempts, and take
>it from there on our own, and to just "hope" she gets better,
>but if she keeps it up, maybe in a year well have enough to
>ask for custody.

Your attorney evidently believes that the judge in the case will not give you much for a contempt motion. I don't know the judge so I can't comment, other than to say, that if it were me, I'd be forcing a contempt hearing.

BothSides

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RE: Need some guidance
« Reply #2 on: Feb 10, 2005, 09:43:36 AM »
Thank you.

I guess my question on the visitation issue, to be more clear, was that, right now, our agreement states he gets 14 weekends per year.  We want specific dates, not subject to her whims and moods.  We think its in the childs best interest to have a regularly scheduled visitation set so he knows when he sees his father, too much time cant lapse between visitations, etc.

The judge has ordered the stipulation as is, but is reserving jurisdiction on all matters to be clarified/altered.  The weekend dates, we want clarified.  the Bio Mom has suggested a schedule of every 3rd weekend, with specific dates, but then refused to sign it once we agreed to it.

He is wanting to ask the judge to clarify the order so that it is a set date of weekends rather than just 14 per year (so she cant wait till October and he not see him at all during the year until then or something crazy like that, or even change her mind on thursday about him getting him that weekend, which is what happens usually).

Also, as a side note, the attorney called back finally yesterday, and said that her attorney was being completely unreasonable, isnt working with them at all, he has spent all his time and retainer on fighting over every single weekend visitation, and that the retainer is spent.

He now wants $2500 just to set and attend a final hearing, but would prefer he find another counsel.

:(

I have represented myself in court in a similar case with my own son (only a bit more simple, b/c the father was not exercising visitation and wasnt paying court ordered medical payments, so that was pretty cut and dry).

He is worried that her attorney will bully him if he represents himself, because all of our requests are fair (specified dates for visitation), and the contempts are all backed up with proof.

So, bottom line, on the visitation, is this a reasonable request and do you think this will be difficult to get, even if he represents himself?  

What possible arguments could they come up with to dispute set weekend visitations?

Both Sides...

socrateaser

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RE: Need some guidance
« Reply #3 on: Feb 10, 2005, 09:51:23 AM »
>So, bottom line, on the visitation, is this a reasonable
>request and do you think this will be difficult to get, even
>if he represents himself?  

If you are being denied visitation, and you have no specific dates, then I think it's more than reasonable to ask the court to clarify the dates for everyone.

>
>What possible arguments could they come up with to dispute set
>weekend visitations?

I don't think that there is a good argument to avoid a set schedule. I would prepare a schedule, send a proposed stipulated order to the other attorney, and ask them to sign, and state that if they do not do so within 10 days, that you will file a motion with the court to order the schedule.

 

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