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Author Topic: Unmarried fathers visitation rights?  (Read 2230 times)


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Unmarried fathers visitation rights?
« on: Oct 12, 2004, 12:51:50 PM »
After 4 years of co-habitation(unmarried)and a 2 year daughter.My daughter's mother left with my daughter and will not let me see her.What is the procedure step by step that I have to go through to get visitation.Someone please advise.I live in Ohio.


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« Reply #1 on: Oct 12, 2004, 01:14:37 PM »
Until you get into court.

My DH had to go through the whole process. Show that he was active and very involved inhis daughters life.

We now have a 50/50 plan. We are in Cols, Ohio.


An unmarried female who gives birth to a child is the sole residential parent and legal custodian of the child until a court of competent jurisdiction issues an order designating another person as the residential parent and legal custodian. A court designating the residential parent and legal custodian of a child described in this section shall treat the mother and father as standing upon equality when making the designation. (Ohio Revised Code Section 3109.042).


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« Reply #2 on: Oct 12, 2004, 01:38:28 PM »
Yes,I understand the law.I just dont know where to begin filing for visitation.I don't know what records or forms to get and I don't have money to hire a lawyer.My ex was married untill about a year ago.She has only been gone for two weeks but I miss my daughter and they say this is a long process.I have been with her since birth.I was the father figure to her other two children by her first husband.I got attached to them also but I know I have no rights to them.I just need step by step proceedures to start with.


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« Reply #3 on: Oct 12, 2004, 01:51:21 PM »
Tips For Getting Started

Paternity Faq's--you REALLY need to read this.


Custody faq's- read this one also

How To Hire An Attorney

Hiring An Effective Attorney

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody


Suggestions When Falsely Accused

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


For Move aways: ( Thanx Brent!!)

Immediately file a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). In the TRO, specify that the children are to be prevented from leaving the State.

Also, read these:

Preventing Domestic Move-Aways

Preparing For A Move-Away Battle

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.



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RE: Unmarried fathers visitation rights?
« Reply #4 on: Oct 12, 2004, 04:06:29 PM »
She may be considered legal guardian by law simply because she gave birth, but it doesn't give her the right to alienate you from your daughter.

You may not have the money for a lawyer now, but if you ever want to be a part of her life you better beg, borrow or steal it. You will get creamed if you try to go into court pro se.

If you have anything financial in both your names close the accounts immediately or she will intentionally destroy your credit. Hide all documents that will be important during the divorce and asset distribution, document the hell out of every little thing that happens between now and the hearing, and DO NOT communicate with her face-to face. If she hasn't already filed for an RO she will eventually . . . they all do. If you absolutely have to be around her, for instance when you're picking up your daughter, always have a witness with you and don't go in the house where they're staying.

By the way, until there's a temporary order spelling out custody and support, you're not obligated to do sh*t for her and I would strongly encourage you not to. You WILL NOT be given credit for ANY money you throw at her, bills you pay in her name, nothing. Give her zilch if you know it isn't helping your daughter.

So all I can say is, welcome to the way women really are. You have just become an ejaculating wallet. To her, to the courts, and to the liberal world at large. And once again, I'm telling you that you are going to have to get an attorney. Figure out the money any way you have to, but get an attorney. Forget about all the good times you and her had, and forget about how nice and thoughtful she once was, because she is no longer that person and she won't be happy until she has destroyed you both financially and emotionally.

Whether you like it or not you're in a war, and thanks to your penis you are at a huge disadvantage, so you're just going to have to be smarter than her.

By the way, RainGirl wouldn't happen to be your girlfriend would she?

Just kidding - Good luck


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my exact situation
« Reply #5 on: Oct 12, 2004, 10:38:55 PM »
I never lived with the mother at all , She just showed Me her boobie's  in the window and I went over for a visit .So Hence My son Makes his appearance ! , So She pulled the same shit , SO Be prepared , I will try to generalise the situation , But first I am from wash state , I will Try to stay as brief as possible , AND AWAYS REMMEMBER BE CALM through this , NO MATTER WHAT !!!
   The basic process is simple , First Unless you agree other wise the smartest thing to do is have a paternity [genetic] test
      I went to court . In wash state you go to see a commissioner at first [not ] a real judge , For temporary orders , So You will file a:::  proposed temporary parenting plan . , Then if mom is like My psycho she will try to go to court and say you are a bad guy and should not see the child , SOOOOO Then You iether have ready or file simultaniously a
   MOTION TO APPOINT A GUARDIAN AD LITEM ON BEHALF OF A MINOR CHILD  . This is a person appointed by the court that will talk to you and three witnesses you send to Her , And also the mom , You want  Witnesses that have seen you and know you love your child ,to go tell the Guardian ad Litem that you love the child , Then there is a In home visit , And It should say that you are prepared to have the child over . Bed toy's , Baby food Separate dresser with some clothes and diapers if needed , If you can't figure it all out it's a good time to make a call to your Mom and say Help! what do I need ,
   And they, And the court seem to toy with you and all this takes painstaking time , And a weekly friendly phone message to the GAL  that expresses your desire to see you child , Is goodl and was reported to the court [My Case] My atty told me to calll the GAL and ask nicely etc , Remmember as upsetting as this is , YOU HAVE TO BE A NICE GUY and not piss any one off , SOOOO Persistance is good , And You will be likely  to have to jump a bunch of hoops ,,, Because I had never even seen my son I had to go through the courts process , and I was to PAY for supervised visits , Now the toughest thing to remmember was To make all these hoops good ones for you and let mom be a butt head , And keep the crappola about mom to the minimum, legal and proveable statement , But as faR AS ALL THE COURTS ENTITIES ARE CONCERNED  , they really don't want to hear it and it seems that if you react to it, it causes way more harm than to Just say that isn;t true I love My child . When I went to court . YOU MUST REMMEMBER , The court the commissioner the judge doesn't want to hear it , OK !!! So the smartest thing I ever did was this .
  Here's the court the clowns and the atty's and this should be written by the great play write SHakespear Him self as the comedy of errors ,
  First time to court ,
   Moms Asshole atty ." Dads a really bad Guy and Mom doesn't want him to see the child , Blah blah ! He's a domestic violence abuser . and a mean person , and mom is breast feeding , and every other excuse in the book ,.
   My atty: Dad want's at least to initiate some sort of contact with the child
   Commissioner Johnson ,  Ok supervised visits then when I see the Guardian ad litem report. Well see ,
 Second court date [months later after a few weekly supervised visits ,
    Moms atty . Dads a bad guy the child is terrorised , Ad infinitum to BLAH BLAH !!!
   Commissioner Dicke .( a Woman ]   Do we have a GAL report ?
     MY atty : [Its on My desk ] But apposing counsel has it in his hand
    Moms stupid bastard atty , "Uh well I marked it up [STALLING bastard ]
   Commissioner:" well untill I see the GAL report I Will continue the supervised visits
   third court date .
   This time we have the GAL report :
   Moms atty " BLAH BLAH . Mom breast feeds the child is to young , And numerous allegations
    Commissioner " Reads the GAL report And it say's ,,I should see the child . And have a bed and toys waiting ,And am prepared to have a child over , And there is nothing to substantiate Mom's allegations
    Commissioner " Whats dad saying ?
   My Atty . Looks at Me and say's . "Whats your statement to the court you were supposed to have it "?, [ I didn't ) So I said the smartest thing the commissioner wanted to know , (Unknowingly ); I just said , I want to see My Son . And I'm not interested in the mud slinging . And I have all kinds of allegations My self ,
 SOOOO the commissioner just Smiled at Me and said when does he want to see his son , I said every weekend and every thursday , And every tuesday for the interactive parenting class ,
    So the commissioner said every other weekend every tuesday for the parenting class , and Every other thursday
    So the point of My story , /
  The commissioner does not get off the bench and go out to see you and your place of abode and meet  Three of your friends , And they don;t want to give visits to a dope fiend with Needles laying around , Or check the police report , And the GAL does and reports to the court , And the commissioner won'T Do any thing for you untill theres an investigation , "IF" MOM TELLS THE COURT A BUNCH OF STORIES  : And My further point is , Don't let her get away with this , And here is the reason , It's called the uniform parentage act , Its about these types of cases and that there needs to be a court order that tells when the children reside with whom, Especialy when one parent won't cooperate ,  And the parenting plan say;s that she has to give notice to you of her wherabouts if she moves , SOO while she is in a place you know of, have her served with the proposed parenting plan and court date and Part of the court paper should order her to keep you posted of her address, get her BS stopped , then you can file contempt if she does not give you the child , Because She is pulling this crap , I have found that it is better to make the transfer at the police station ,in the proposed plan , that really makes it official and she has to be at the appointed place and time , And can't pull the regular crap about how the child doesn't want to go and all the tricks you don't know about yet , An once of prevention will stop a lot of heartache , And My situaion is much better because we meet at the mcdonalds , And if she isn;t there my atty told me and her atty told her , go into Mcdonalds five minutes early and buy a coke , and keep the reciept , that proves you were there if she doesn;t show , And if she doesn't have a reciept then you should have her on a contempt. wich won't mean much at first but it will after a few contempts , and contempt is a whole new topic , Just get a parenting plan filed and make her suit up and show up , And when you get an atty , INTERVIEW A FEW  and get the one that will answer this question , " what is the basic process .? do not hire any atty that doesn't answer this question with something like this . File a ( whatever ) And get a parenting plan , Your next question is , What if she balks ? Answer should be reall simple , (like] file for a court appointed investigater . Or something simple . This is a simple process of fileing papers and following through , DON'T hire an atty that tells any stories or talk boastingly or has a we'll get her attitude . I fired two aTTY;S . yOU DON'T NEED  the dream team , You just need to file in a timely manner and suit up and show up and be calm and it should work out !! Get it going !!!


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« Reply #6 on: Oct 12, 2004, 10:58:25 PM »
I was just thinking the same thing, shame on us...


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Also my situation
« Reply #7 on: Oct 13, 2004, 05:57:14 AM »
The one thing you MUST do is get an attorney.    Since you were not married, she might try to take you to court for back support.  The child is 2 you said?  Do the math, 24 months X $500/mo in child support comes to $12,000.

You really cannot afford not to have an attorney.

Once you get the attorney, he will be the one telling you what to file and when.  Like the other posts said, always be calm and mature, and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.


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« Reply #8 on: Oct 13, 2004, 09:41:34 AM »
Go here:  http://ocse3.acf.dhhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/selectastate.cfm

Click on OH, read it all, especially Section H - Paternity.

I know you got a lot of other links, but your very first move is to either file for a court ordered DNA test or do what someone said and file a TRO to restrict her to the state of OH.

If you file first it may help.  Maybe.  And keep coming back here - everyone here will help you.  


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