Never thought I'd be here again......

[lookinnomore]

I live in the state of Virginia, had a HORRIBLE custody battle some 3 years ago.  Live with a man who has custody of his two sons now 14 and 16, through the custody battle she got JOINT custody we retained physical custody. We (being dad and I unmarried).

We have now had the boys, along with my three daughters for some 6 1/2 years.  His youngest son is really starting to test the boundaries of his father and I.  He has run away twice, we have called the police both times.  The first time he ended up at his mothers house at 2 in the morning.  We never received a phone call only to find him in school the next morning.  

He ran away again Friday night, Dad called mom and asked her not to take him (the son) in and call if she had any information.  She called and said she had heard from him (the son)  but refused to give Dad the number in which he called from, yet she did call him on three way.  Dad put the police on the phone to mom she said she had no knowledge, and preceeded to bash dad.  

Question in all of this is, because the child is having growing pains...... is that grounds for change of circumstance?

[MixedBag]

I think it all depends on what is at the heart of his problem.

[mistoffolees]

>I think it all depends on what is at the heart of his
>problem.

Absolutely. Get a professional evaluation of the situation. But make sure you don't make 'you're going to visit a counselor' seem like a penalty to him.

[lookinnomore]

heart of the problem is total disreguard for the rules.  He is not only acting out at home, but has been suspended from school for fighting, and skipping.  He is 14 and thinks he is making the rules.

[MixedBag]

doesn't sound like a reason to me -- unless BM is going to take the approach that the current situation/arrangement is the problem.