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Messages - rhelle

#11
He filed for a modification in January. We are STILL waiting for the result. In the meantime, the state is simply taking 50% of his pay. According to the State of Utah, it can take 6 to 9 months to process a modification, and she has the right to dispute the final amount, thus taking longer.

He doesn't have enough to pay household bills because of all she's done. If he didn't have me, he'd not bring home enough money to even pay rent on an efficiency apartment. That's not including bills, gasoline, and groceries. He doesn't even bring in enough to rent something. He'd be completely destitute. I absolutely WISH I was exaggerating.

He was originally ordered to pay 35% of his income in Texas. We moved, he took a large cut in pay, he filed for the modification in Texas. At the same time, she filed the second order for child support in Utah, without stopping the order in Texas. She waited 60 days before she stopped the order in Texas, even though the State of Utah TOLD her she had to do it, ASAP. After she did all of that, THEN she filed for the change of jurisdiction.

During all of this, and the nasty emails she sends about getting her child support, she got a LARGE distribution from his retirement plan. In total, she only actually went 4 weeks without child support, and then received thousands of dollars in retirement.

In short, I'm the only one who makes enough money to pay our bills and we're struggling. A LOT. We can't really afford for him to get his children, to be honest. And if we could, we'd have to pay for daycare, as their divorce decree states they cannot stay alone. On top of that, SHE has to approve our daycare choice before the kids can even go.

It's a complete clusterf***.
#12
I guess I am just angry that I have to work twice as hard to make ends meet, because she lies her face off every chance she gets. And I'm also angry that I seem to be the only one that wants to stop the madness.  My children shouldn't have to go without things they want/need so SHE and her unemployed couch potato can buy snowmobiles.  I signed on for better or worse, not for making his PBFH happy.

I feel like a jerk because I am angry at him for not having his shit together first. He doesn't have to deal with anything from my ex. Nothing. Even though my ex doesn't pay child support, my children are covered. I made sure I could take care of us a long time ago, without someone else. Now, here I am, having to take care of someone else and we're paying for it. It's just frustrating.
#13
I just hate feeling like a jerk when I'm angry about things, is all.

I have two children of my own. Their father and I split up over 10 years ago. While we had our obvious parenting disagreements, our issues were never placed on someone else's shoulders.  Based on my own experience, I simply have zero tolerance for what's going on in our current situation.

And, I really HATE having to pay for their stupid battles.
#14
Never mind. Made me feel like a jerk. :)
#15
Visitation Issues / Re: More questions...
Apr 26, 2011, 01:37:57 PM
I am having difficulty finding Motion for Contempt templates online. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
#16
Visitation Issues / Re: More questions...
Apr 26, 2011, 01:29:58 PM
They live in a small suburb, about 25,000 people. Hopefully, the odds will be better that way.

H used to be part of that particular religion, but left the church some years ago. So, her stance is now that we are immoral and not living by the church standards.  Um..which would be true, as we don't attend that church.  But, she then uses it as a reason to try and withhold the children.

It gets kinda old. I've told H if all of the people in that religion use it as a battering ram, I can't really see anything to recommend it.
#17
Visitation Issues / Re: More questions...
Apr 26, 2011, 12:17:26 PM
That was our worry, MixedBag; however, our mediator assured us the courts do not care. Sigh. I guess we won't know until we get there.
I will say I'm not finding them to be terribly peaceful, but she happens to be the only example I have.
#18
Visitation Issues / Re: More questions...
Apr 26, 2011, 11:02:47 AM
Speaking of that, though...

She remarried an unemployed man with 3 children to pay support for. She's constantly trying some angle to get more money, and cries she's "poor" for things like mediation (although, she does have an attorney on retainer. didn't know pro bono was so popular). It's getting a little old that SHE made the choice to marry a man who could not provide for his children and we're paying for it. She's constantly angry at H because SHE has to work, now. Somehow, it's HIS fault that she filed for divorce and married a loser.

Actually, I think I want to use her logic for a while..seems she's a "winner" everytime.
#19
Visitation Issues / Re: More questions...
Apr 26, 2011, 10:57:25 AM
And in our case, neither parent resides in the original state. So, I guess we're stuck with Utah.

  7 to 9 kids!!!  I'll never get it.
#20
Visitation Issues / Re: More questions...
Apr 26, 2011, 09:16:29 AM
Well, the ex is a part of that particular religion, and it's a concern for us, a we are not.