Programming children

[OregonStepMom]

We have attempted visitation, documented until our fingers fell off, and are now trying to make the big decision.........if the Children are going to say waht they are "programmed" to say by a parent.......should the other one even waste their time in court..even with 1/2 of their town to dispute the "programmed" response of the kids??????  Please help us!!

[wendl]

The question is are you willing to give up on these children????

How old are they??

It is hard, I know my dh's ex says stuff to the kids about me that are not true, all we can do is show them the truth and hope they follow suit.

Best of luck.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[OregonStepMom]

the children (both boys) are 13 annd 8.  They will NOT take a stand to see their dad.  (my husband)      I know that we have witnesses from the schools, friends, neighbors, etc.  that will testify to my (the new wife) character........yet, if the children go and repeat the "programmed version" (they have been away from us for 9weeks, now) then is it worth it??  We don't have extra money - we barely get by.

[MYSONSDAD]

Educate yourself on it. They need you more now then ever. DO NOT GIVE UP. Lots of love and patience.

My little guy has been programmed too. Won't beleive the stuff he tells me.

http://www.helpstoppas.com/

How did you make out on your contempts?

"Children learn what they live"

[gipsy]

This is sick But I would still file contempt again and again , The longer you let it go on the worse it gets , In wash state there is New case law that say's its the parents job to foster a relation ship , and when this come up on contempt , You could aLSO  have a Guardian ad litem Appionted , This is simple , However , If you call enough atty's  One will be willing to help some , Or help file the paperwork , Don't quit before you make a diligent search of your options , There is the   Childrens rights counsel on line , They may have a representative in your area , And have some direction for you ,and or , Call the court and ask if there is a  time that attys help pro se litigants , Don't give up get on the phone also call the BAR association and ask about attys that take cases , Some do it for very little money , If you let her get away with it you teach her that she can ,

[Forthelittleones]

It really depends on what you feel you need to do.  My SS says he hates it here to his mom, the judge whomever - BUT one thing that worked in our favor - His medical records indicate that he will do whatever he has to do to protect his mom.

Now, his therapist here - He tells her that he misses his mom but that he wouldn't get the grades up there - he likes getting good grades down here and he will go back to spend time with his mom and play instead of failing up there and being in summer school here during the summers.


He is really caught - but after 40K, many visits to the Judge, our gal stated it was in his best interest to be here with us.

Good luck!

[OregonStepMom]

thank you for your advice.......nothing on the contempt as of yet, we still have NO court date for hearings, etc.  My hubby is so depressed, and I am not sure how to comfort him through this.  He wants to fight, but is so worried about the money.  Again, thanks so much.......whomever put this website together needs a special place in God's arms.  Stepmom

[nosonew]

If your husband has a court order for visitation, can he pick them up from school? That keeps her presence out of it.

Also, videotape every attempt and make sure he says nothing except "I am here to pick up my sons per my visitation"... He should not argue with her. If she refuses, it is video taped, along with everything said.

Research PAS and don't give up. Consistency is the key...call, send letters (to school if necessary)...make sure DH is involved with the school. Frequently.

Continue to file contempts.

Good luck.

[wendl]

Hun,
I know how you feel, I can't really get into things to help you as my husbands lovely ex wife and her friends like to save and read all my posts.

All I can say is don't give up on the kids it is on their fault, all you can do is show them you love them BUT not let them run all over you.   You and DH know the truth and the kids will too in time.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[OregonStepMom]

We go to the schools on his days, but the ex always takes the children out of school early on his days...........this way he is unable to have visitation....we have letters of intent, and the kids state that their mom is keeping them from ME (new wife).  She even has them convinced that their current asthma attacks are a result of my smoking - NOT - they have NOT been with us since Dec 2004, and I only smoke in the garage.......I know an asthma attack can't be retroactivated.  Thanks for your thoughts.  We keep documenting, and pray for a court date soon.

[OregonStepMom]

thank you so much for your encouragement.  It is alot to know that there is somewhere I can go for help and support.  My hubby and I are greatful that I stumbled in here, and without all of you, he may have given up on the court fight, and I may have given up on him.  You guys are wonderful.  THANKS!!!