Trying to get visitation and/or Custody

[lenihan]

Hello - I have an 11 year son whos mother does not have custody.  The courts have given custody of the son to her father (his grand-father).  The grand-mother (his ex-wife) is also wanting custody.  The family has managed to keep my son away from me for 9-years and I now have a relationship with him (because of the work the grand-father has done).

My problem is that the custody issues are constantly faught between the mother, grand-mother and the grand-father, I am off to the side and I am not made aware of any of this information, not even listed on the court documents (I guess I am the father of).  They say they do not know where I am to process papers, but they know where I am when child support is missing).  I get to see my son every 4 weeks for a weekend and no time during the summers.   The judge made this arrangement because I was not party to the custody battles (but I was never notified).

There is a ad-liem for this case and she is stating that the judge will not favor any requests I have because I have never formally filed any motions.  The court system in NC does not provide any forms to file motions, and I am told to get a lawyer.  Is this true? Do I have to get a lawyer just to ask for permission to see/visit my own son?  I do not have enough money to get  a lawyer (I have a wife and four other children that depend on my income and support as well).   Where can I get examples, help, documentation on how to file a custody and/or visitation motion in Guildford County, NC?

Thanks again for your help.

[joni]

Your key to working this out is to have a great relationship with the GAL in the case.  The GAL is the child's advocate.  She's supposed to be an objective participant and she's a direct link to the judge.  If she likes you, she'll tell the judge so.  If you disappoint her or let your kid down, the judge will also hear about this.

You need to go to your county courthouse and find the forms for filing a parenting plan.  This plan has to be very specific.  It should address pick up times and drop off times.  It should alternate the holidays between the parents and it should also give you an extended summer visitation.

Let the GAL know you're going to file this.  She will not do this for you.  YOu need to get smart and motivated about this.  Do not whine or putz around in front of the GAL, she'll lose respect for you.

REMEMBER, the GAL is there for your child NOT to help you figure this out.  If you can't figure it out for yourself, get yourself an attorney.

AND MAKE SURE YOU STAY CURRENT ON CHILD SUPPORT during this process.

Here's some info I found on the internet about filing  a plan

http://www.hamiltontn.gov/Courts/CircuitClerk/forms.htm

http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/forms/dss/

http://www.divorcesource.com/NC/info/visitation.shtml

http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/forms/dss/dss-5128.pdf

http://www.rosen.com/ppf/ID/29/issues.asp

HERE ARE SOME sample parenting plans located on this site that you can use as a format

This example of a Permanent Parenting Plan (PPP) has been designed to address most of the typical situations between divorced parents. The wording is fair, and thought has been given to ensuring that both parents get reasonable treatment where the children are concerned.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

This is a Sample Shared Parenting Plan that can be modified for your use.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan8.htm

This Shared Parenting Plan (SPP) has been designed as a basic starting template for shared custody between divorced parents. It also includes a section that provides for a ''phasing in'' of parenting time that may be removed if not required.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan5.htm

This is a ''Four Phase'' supervised visitation plan that could be used to gradually modify parenting time, starting with a highly restricted schedule and moving, in steps, to full, unsupervised parenting time without any special restrictions.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan6.htm