Messages

Wow, talk about good timing!
I'm so glad you're all safe. I heard about tornadoes in Texas last night.

If I were him, I'd be objecting to her moving yet again. How far away is she going? I'd argue that it is not in the kids' best interest to keep changing schools and cutting into my parenting time. How are their grades? If they have been slipping, I'd be filing to restrain her from moving the kids again, maybe a change in custody is in order.

At the least you need a clause in the plan that she has to inform you and/or the court of any upcoming move, ahead of time. Maybe even get the court's permission.

Umm...you two were together in November, and she *just* found out she was pregnant in February?? Why did it take her so long to find that out? Go get your sperm count checked, because I really have my doubts about this being your child. She may be just taking your money.

I hope this is not the case and I wish you well...but please be sure before you go any further.

BTW...do you really want to be with someone who "dates" during her pregnancy? Do you expect her to be faithful to you? Are you going to be checked for STD's? If she gets one, how healthy can that be for the baby?

I hope you stay clean, too. Way to go.

Please read the articles here on this site.
There is a heading called "Emergency First Aid".
There are several "must reads" in there.

Good luck and come back often.

He can start by checking the BC. But don't some states require a test too, just in case mom just put a name there?

My son applied for CS from his exgf 3 years ago January.
She didn't pay, they took her to court a year later, was found in contempt and given 30 days suspended if she started paying within a month. Two weeks later they ordered her to a work program. She went there the last day she was to report. She got a job, and by the time they could garnish her she quit.

She was frequently hospitalized and "too sick to work".

This past spring she got a job and they took 3 payments out before she quit that.

This fall they called for a hearing to determine if she could work or not. Court was Thurs, the Monday before she got a job. The day of the hearing she called court to say she had no way to get there. The ass't. prosecutor met us in the hall and said, well shes working so she'll be garnished, let us know if you stop getting payments and we'll file contempt. Well my son never got one cause she got "sick" and quit her job a week later.

Now, it seems, the AP has the file and is planning to file a motion to impose sentence. Wonder if they'll do it, not that it will do any good. She refuses to pay because they "take some of it out". Not true. Every time she is about to get garnished she quits. She owes over 8 thousand.

If the situation were reversed, my son would have been sitting in jail long ago, with no license.

At least in our county, on the website, they do call them "deadbeat parents". I don't think she's on it...yet....

Here is one:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/firstaid.php

Good luck to him.

I filled in the form that was here or on Glenn Sack's site (or both) and emailed it. I did not actually watch it, but trust the folks' opinions on this site.
This is what they wrote back (not doubt a form letter):

Dear Concerned Viewer:

Thank you for taking the time to write to PBS about your concerns regarding
BREAKING THE SILENCE: CHILDRENS STORIES. We apologize for the delay in this
response.

Comments from our viewers - both positive and negative are the best guides we
have to make future programming decisions.  We have forwarded your observations
to the filmmakers - producer Dominique Lasseur and director Catherine Tatge.
They have provided us with their thoughts about the documentary:
 
"When we began this project over a year ago, our goal was to produce a
documentary about domestic violence and children. We had no preconceived notions
about the issue no specific agenda to prove or disprove. The finished
documentary is simply a result of where countless hours of extensive research
and interviews took us. These are the real stories of real women who lost
custody of their children when Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) was used as
scientific proof in their family court cases. These were the stories we found
over and over again.
           
There have been a number of concerns raised regarding Parental Alienation
Syndrome (PAS) and how it is addressed in the piece. We do not make the
assertion that the phenomenon of alienation does not exist, simply that PAS is
wrongly used as scientific proof to justify taking children away from a
protective parent. We as filmmakers are in no position to determine the
scientific validity of PAS. However, the fact remains that the American
Psychological Association (APA) and the American Medical Association (AMA) have
not recognized PAS as legitimate science.  
 
Some individuals have expressed concern that the documentary only features the
stories of women as the victims of domestic violence. Research shows that while
women are less likely than men to be victims of violent crimes overall, women
are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate
partner. (U.S. Department of Justice, Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on
Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, March 1998).
If we had featured the stories of one man and five women who had been victims of
domestic abuse, statistically we would have grossly overstated the problems of
men in this area. Nevertheless, we recognize that men are also victims and men
are also sometimes victimized by family courts, but it is overwhelmingly women
who are victims. In all cases, the children are the victims.  
 
These are difficult and controversial issues that stir human emotions. Nothing
can galvanize ones passion like the welfare of a child. We understand certain
individuals will never be completely satisfied with the information presented in
the documentary. All we can do is offer, in the most open and transparent
manner, the reasoning and research that went into this program."
 
We appreciate your interest in PBS programming and hope that you will continue
to enjoy and support your local PBS member station.
 
Sincerely,
Madison
PBS Viewer Services

If she's got that many problems, will she have the judgement to know when she's able to care for the kids? Are you allowing overnights? Unsupervised visits?

If she thinks she's bad enough to sign her rights away...does she even want time with them?

I hope it works out, but I don't think I'd be as trusting as you. JMHO.

Having something on paper is not enough.

You will need to prove paternity, and file with court for visitation and probably child support will be set then. You have no rights until you go to court to establish the relationship with the child.

If you do reach an agreement between you (ie parenting plan) it should be filed with the court so it is enforceable. The 50/50 plan is ideal. With infants it may be best to alternate every couple of days. Frequent, shorter periods to establish a bond.

Once the child is born, get a paternity test. Then file for your rights. In the meantime, do keep things friendly with mom.

Congrats.