Messages

You are right on this end. In fact the family court here requires  a mediation hearing withinn 3 months of any court apperance.  My mediation hearing is Aug 16 at 3pm and my court apperance is Aug 17 at 8:30 am.

Here are the pertinant details in regard to burden of proof.

1. Documentation of three mediation hearings with the CP refusing any increase in visitation. The new one will be the fourth.

2. 8 police reports sent to the court by detectives for inclusion in the court file citing suspicious circumstances/ possible violation of court order of the CP not being present for the visit and not even calling.

3. Documentation from Sheriff's call out reports showing 20 incidents where patrol cars responded to enforce the court order requiring the CP to release the child to me for a 4 hour visit. Each time the Sheriff's were involved I lost 1- 2 hrs of visitation.

4. One documented case of what the police detective deemed as "non criminal domestic violence." The police took a report but wouldn't arrest because  there were no witnesses. I had scratches  on my neck where the CP grabbed me behind the head scratching my neck. I didn't dare touch her in any way! The dectective wouldn't file stating I had no witnesses theirfore it was her word against mine and besides the DA wouldn't file on it anyway.
 
The CP made false allegations of child abuse some time ago. In that regard, we will have the following documentation ready tp present if the CP brings it up.

1. Sheriff's Dept and DFCS closed the case
They citing allegations to be unsubstantiated.

2. Independant medical exam  showing  Diaper rash as an cause of inflammation.

3. Current supena of records of county medical exams showing bacterial culture tests indicating a bacterial cause for inflammation.

4. Current supena of DFCS report showing false allegations reported while Social worker investigated and cited CP for unsafe conditions.
An open swimming pool without enclosure where I saw my son walking alone with CP nowhere to be found.  

My questions are then as follows:

1. Does it look like enough for a burden of proof?

2. Would you reccomend bringing this stuff to the mediation?

3. In the past you reccomended volunteering for a Polygraph. should I  
    volunteer or do one and bring in the favorable results.
 
Thank you in advance

Sorry for my last post as I see that my reply was outside time parameters for up dating.

My current parenting plan has huge holes in it. Many of which the CP jumps thru with no regard for anything. She recently took my son out of state without notification on Father's day.

My attorney advised me that it does not stipulate in the PP that she cannot go out of state. Nor does the plan stipulate that she has to give me notification she is cancelling my visit. Nor does the current PP state that she shall provide make-up visits.

According to this logic she can apparently do whatever she wants without consulting me even though I have Joint Physical custody.

I  have drafted a new parenting plan from the comprehensive PP on this site which just about covers most of my grievences.
 
I have a hearing scheduled for modification of visitation and the OSC has already been filed.

1.  How do I go about attempting to change the PP at this time?

2. What remedy do I have for make up visits as they are not spelled out
    in the PP?

3. Could I add the new plan to the existing plan?
 
4. What is the likelyhood of getting the time lost back with my son?

Thanks SOC

Thank you Soc for your help. I feel relieved to have independent confirmation about what is happening in our case.

I need to add a number of items to the existing parenting plan. Our plan is a stock plan from Los Angeles County Court, CA. Many many items were not covered which has caused a lot of problems.

1. How does one seek changes to add additional items to a parenting  
    plan?

2. We have a hearing already set to modify visitation. Can we do this at
    the same time?

Thank you in advance for so  your help!

RonP  

Dear Socratease

I am in need of some guidance. I am not sure how to proceed with my case or if  my attorney is acting in my or my childs best intrest. I'll do my best to explain a convoluted set of circumstances and events. I live in Los Angeles, Ca. Where my case resides.

I have a 3 yo son residing with CP.  I was awarded JC as well as a visitation schedule 2 1/2 years ago. Current visitation is T 3-7, Th 3-7, Sun 2-6. I have missed two visits due to Pneumonia but that is all.
Other than that I have been there for every visit without exception.

My problems are as follows: CP is erradic in behavior and continually thwarts my visitation time with my son. Most recently, she failed to show for Fathers Day. I found out she took my child to Arizona without my knowledge.  I lost two consective  visits in this episode.

The CP refuses to disclose any information about my son being in counseling or any information about a forensic evaluation that was supposed to take place. I sent her a registered letter requestingany and all informatiom and no response to date..

In the 2 1/2 years in dealing with CP I have had 20 episodes with me having to have the Sheriff's Dept enforce the court order. Eight of these times she just dissappeared. The deputies wrote reports for dectives who sent them to the court for inclusion in my court file.

in May 2004, I discovered my son exiting the rear door to their home where a swimming pool sits without any enclosure. The CP was nowhere to be found. I called  and called She finally comae our of the garage and said she didn't hear me. This really freaked me out!

I made a report to DFCS for unsafe conditions. They investigated and wrote them a citation for correction. While the social worker was investigationg this case the CP reported that  "every time I bring my son home his anus is red and inflamed. " A detective told me this.

That afternoon I went to P/U my son and the CP refused to release my son. I called the Sheriff's and the CP told the Sheriff's I was a pedophile and was being investigated for Child molestation. This was outside in the yard with two police cars and several Neighbors about.

The Sheriff's asked me to leave and I refused, I showed them the court order. They made calls and found out that a report had been filed. I took my son to the nearest emergency room and he was seen by a Doctor. He was diagnosed with Canditas Albacanus, a bacteria which causes diaper rash.

DFCS initiated an investigation where I was the suspect. A social worker called me and I told them this was completely unfounded and untrue.
I denied ever touching my son in appropiately and it simply didn't happen.

I informed the Social worker my son did have a very sever diaper rash which had been diagnosed by a doctor and that I had the medical records to substiantiate this along with the Doctrors name and such.

The social worker told me that that wasn't necessary that my son had been taken to the childrens sexual abuse exam team at the local hospital and an exam had been conducted. She would not disclose the result of the exam. No further contact with DFCS occured.

After five months the Sheriff's Dept. contacted me and I met with a detective from the family crimes division. It turns out I knew the Dectective. He had dated a former female roommate of mine. He disclosed what the CP reported and medical findings to me off the record.

He went on to say that the county doctors did a bacterial culture from my son's inflamation. The test results showed that the inflamation which
precipitated the report was caused by a bacteria than eminated from the gastrointestinal tract. I reported the circumstances of the CP reporting.

Another few months went by when I recieved a letter from the Sheriff's dept. saying that because I was the suspect in an child abuse case that they were putting my name in a database kept by the DOJ. Only law enforcement had access to the database.

The letter went on to say that if I felt the report stated that the allegations were unsubstaniated at this point and that I could call them to request a review to change the allegations to an unfounded classification. I called , Spoke with a Lieutenant who said he would review the case and get back to me.

To date I have had no response back from the Sheriffs dept. I left messages 4 times. I have given this over to my attorney. They have never seen anything like this before.

I saw a criminal attorney who deals with sexual issues. His response was similar. He had never seen anything like this before either. He could only offer his services via retainer, even to write a letter.

More recently CP reported to my son's doctor that she observed my three year old son inserting his finger into his anus. The doctor called DFCS and filed a report. I called DFCS immediately and asked to speak with the social worker assigned to the case.

I met with her immediately, I expressed deep concern about my son  and requested I be apprised  to what was happening in my son's case. DFCS social worker refused to disclose anything about my son.
She told me that only the CP could do so. Or to supena these records.

I disclosed to the social worker about the alienation with the CP and how a history of false allegations has seems to be evident in regard to my son's case. She said she would take it under advisement.

I later called the social worker to request a forensic evaluation for my son and to find out if any sort of therapy might be necessary for my son's well being. The social worker disclosed that this was already scheduled and that my son had a therapist assigned to him and had been seen.    

I have retained counsel. They assured me they could help me.  I gave them a partial payment of $1500  toward a $2500 retainer. I then remitted the balance and have a retainer agreement. Later I felt uncomfortable with the attorneys. They quoted me fees that may or may not occur up to $13000 or $15000 at $250 per hour.

I over heard one of the partners intervewing attorneys over the phone and placing ads in the papers because the didn't have enough staff to cover their workload. I talked with my therapist and made a call a few days later. I told them I didn't feel comfortable and I wanted to go elsewhere.

Their response was a firm but no dice  as their retainer agreement which I signed clearly stated no refunds. They saud I could walk away but they would not refund my money. Having no other recourse or lose
my $2500, I proceeded with them. They hired a young family law attorney who appears to know what is up.

The course of action recommended was to file an OSC requesting a change in visitation with an increase to overnights every other weekend  and major changes in my holiday  schedule  with overnight holidays.

We have mentioned in the OSC the incidents about the missing of The Fathers day Holidays and the chronic incidents enumerated above.
We will also ask that the court Admonish the respondent and give some remedy for this situation.

Our plan is to not mention the sexual abuse allegations unless the respondent brings it up. We however will be ready with all documentation and reports from all agencies involved. These items are under supena at the moment.

I am not requesting a change of childs support or a change in custody at this time. I am however prepaired to file contempt charges if need be.
I wanted to file contempt charges because I am very angry with the CP.

It was pointed out to me however that my son would bear a significant burden in being seperated from his mother at this age. I will do what is necessary in this regard. I will however, need some time, a few months , to build up enough funds for a full on custody action.

My questions are as follows

1. Are the actions of my attorney a good strategy?

2. Does this course of action have the potential to damage my future
    actions for changes in custody.

3. I really need more time with my son is it a good idea to persue this
    before I take other actions.

4. Would it be prudent to take civil action in regars to making false
    allegations of sexual abuse.

5. Am I missing any important factors here which I need to address.

6. Would a custody evaluation be prudent at this time.

7. What reccomendations would you make.

Hi: I'm go grateful to have found this forum. I haven't had much support or known any people who understand this terrible frustration!

I have a 3 YO son residing with BM. I have JC with BM as custodial parent. I only have visitation Tu 3-7, Th 3-7, Sun 2-6. The relationship with BM has been a nightmare. We didn't marry thank God! I seperated from BM 2 1/2 years ago at which time  she moved back with her mother.
 
I have been plagued with everything you all have been talking about.
The worst was false allegations of Sexual Abuse. BM made these allegations with a social worker that was investigating unsafe conditions i.e. swimming pool with no enclosure.  BM told the SW that " every time I brought my son home his anus was red and inflammed. I took my son to the hospital as soon as I found out and he was diagnosed with a sever diaper rash. The case was closed for lack of evidence, but not because the allegations were unfounded. It was closed because the allegations could not be substianted. I am listed in a database with the DOJ as having been a child abuse suspect. A bacterial culture was taken and the result showed that the inflamation was caused by a bacteria which eminated from my son's body.

   I have had to call the Sheriff's 20 times requesting assistance to p/u my child. I've have about 8 police reports sent to the presiding comissioner, which I was told would be reviewed at my next hearing. I retained an attorney and am wanting a change in my visitation to overnights. I really want 50/50 as BM is actively using drugs/alcohol. I was advised to request the change in visitation as a preemptive move because it is a lot easier to get. I am going to have to gear up for a custody battle. I want more time with my child I but I don't want to do anything that might harm me from getting custody in the future.
I'm from Southern California

Ron