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The NCP did get approved for disability and we did submit the information required for the girls to get payments.  Each girl is getting either $76/month - which is more than we were getting on the reduced child support that the judge ordered based on her "made-up" number for the hours the NCP was working!

Originally, the NCP was paying $340/month for the 2 girls.  Then when she claimed to be disabled and going part-time, the judge dropped it to $66/month for the two girls!  Totally insane!

Thing is - - I am more annoyed at how the child support court - and specifically this judge - works than anything else.   It wasn't just us.  It was all the cases we heard.  We are fortunate that we not need the money - that was never the point of getting child support for us.  But it is just infuriating - and I do feel for those people that truly do need the child support to provide for the kids.

And when the attorney objects, and the judge still does what the hell she wants - - what would you recommend then?

There is a lot of information you don't have - and you jumped to lots of conclusions, all of them wrong!   Our lawyer is fantastic and did an incredible job when it really matter - - when we needed to get emergency custody of the girls when we found out their stepfather was molesting them, and when we needed to get the subsequent custody order in place.  She did a fantastic job when we went for child support after the NCP kept wasting our time and money filing idiotic motions.

And certainly she can keep track of when our case comes up - - but why would she when we told her not to bother, we just didn't care anymore??  She went on her own - because she wanted to.

Oh - and she hasn't charged us for any of these multiple trips on the child support modification, or when she went when the NCP was brought in for contempt for not paying.

The court is ridiculous - and so are your assumptions!

Oh it isn't our lawyer - she is fantastic!  It is this judge.  She plays fast and loose with the rules and does as she pleases.  She is sympathetic to the NCP paying child support - regardless of sex.  It was stunning to sit in her court!  I'm pretty sure *I* know more about child support laws than she does!

We actually told our lawyer not to even bother going.  We had just had enough and really didn't care one way or the other.  Our lawyer ended up going by and talking to the judge that morning - thinking our case was in the morning session rather than the afternoon.

It is just totally ridiculous!

Well - the NCP filed to modify, claiming to be disabled.  Multiple trips later to court - -during which the NCP never gave proof that she went part-time, eventually brought in stuff from dr on her disability (that the judge didn't bother to look)- - - we finally get a decision/court order.  We were so sick of it we didn't even go to court the last time.  Our lawyer went and check in with the judge.

So - first thing, when NCP claimed she had to go part-time, but couldn't say how many hours she would be working - the judge picked a number out of the air and set child support to $66/month for 2 kids!

Now NCP has been approved for disability, the girls will be getting social security benefits.  So judge waives child support.  The order stated that CP was in court represented pro-se - - nope!  Wasn't there and is always represented by our lawyer.  Court ordered stated NCP and CP both agreed the children were getting ss benefits.  Nope - CP wasn't there to agree to anything and ss checks are suppose to start in April, haven't received anything yet.

The crowning touch?  NCP is $1922 in arrears.  The judge orders her to pay $10 a month toward arrears!!!!!!!   Great - in just 16 years, she will be done.

What a total crock.   It is a good thing we don't need child support!  But it does make me wonder what those single parents that NEED child support do..............

Insane

We recently learned that the girls' BM was approved for disability.  My husband has an appointment at the Social Security Administration to set up payments and get it assigned to him for the girls.

No idea how much it will be or anything.  We also have a court date March 15th because she filed a motion to modify almost a year ago (have gone to court several times cause she first said she was sick but didn't bring any documentation, then had the documentation and had only applied for disability, on and on and on.  We aren't planning on even going to court on March 15 and have told our lawyer not to bother going either.  But for some reason, she (lawyer) seems to want to go.)

From what I can find, BM's disability is considered as income when determining CS, but any money that SSA pays to the kids will be deducted from her CS responsibility -- which probably means she won't have to pay anything herself.

I assume your payments are going thru CSEA.  I don't know about your state, but in NC, they automatically go after the NCP if they aren't paying.

I know when psycho is late, they will send a letter.  If she doesn't pay (I think it is 30 days past due) they will issue a subpeona for her to appear and show cause.  I was really stunned.

You may want to look for the CSEA website in your state.

Frustrating - but I know that it is a waste of our time and energy to fight that.......I was really stunned after dealing with the other courts.  

But we haven't changed our minds - we are still planning on just waiving it for now.  We will reserve the right to seek CS in the future - just in case she starts acting stupid again.

I'm just ready for them to move out of state so we don't even have to worry about them at all.

And yeah, she may think she "won" or pulled something off - - - but who cares?  She is beneath contempt - so why care what she thinks?   I guess it just took a while to sink in!

And when her wicked self creeps into my thoughts -- I'll think of the 15 year old telling me that I am more of a mother to her than Lynn ever was.  I will think of the 17 yr old's beautiful face as she laughs with us, sharing some story about her friends at school.  I'll look at the picture of my gorgeous girls in their gowns on the cruise my parents took them on and see the brilliant smiles on their faces.  

Thanks

This woman barely has a pot to piss in.  It really is amazing.  Before we found out her husband was molesting the girls, both she and her husband worked -- and she got $1390/month in child support from my husband.  They had the house that she and my husband bought when they were married - but refinanced it for more than it was worth and lost it.  

Right now, they are living is a crappy little apartment, driving 12 year old cars that barely run, and are getting shut off notices from the electric company.

The girls haven't seen her in over 3 years.  They refuse to see her or talk to her - - and there is no way we will force them.  

And yes - as the decision becomes more and more firm, the more and more calm comes over us!  It is stlil annoying that the judge gets away with not following the law - - but it just isn't a fight we can win, or that we should bother trying.

Just let it go - - - sounds like a good mantra............just let it go..............just let it go....................

Thank you.  I think that is good advice, and I think my husband and I have decided just that - - finally!

This was never about the money.  My husband and I are very luck to have good jobs and we definitely do not need this child support.  I have always been honest about that - it was was more a matter of revenge and was considered reparation more than anything else.  

But there is no reparation for what she did, and what she allowed to happen, to those girls.  She is lowering than scum, she is still married to and living with the man that molestered these girls.  I have no sympathy for her at all. She deserves every minute of misery and agony.

But the girls are with us.  They are safe, they are happy, they are loved and cared for, and they are thriving.  It is time to be happy and celebrate that - - -and leave the trash out by the curb.