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I also had this problem with BM calling the kids on a constant basis.  We set that she can call between 7 and 8 pm every evening and the kids know that this is their time if they choose to call her if she doesn't call them first.  We also allow them to call her on the big holidays during the day but that is her call for the day.  She was not happy with this rule when it was put in place but after being told by the courts our house our rules she has pretty much abided by it. Doesn't mean she likes it and every one in a while will try to get froggy and jump but I just calmly remind her what the courts said about this issue.. If she tries to call any time other than that it goes to voicemail and the kids listen to it later.. I also keep thier phone in the kitchen in the same place so if they choose to call her at 7 pm they know where the phone is.

Yes you should get it all in one lump sum, It should be 2 separate checks, also fyi you will have to fill out a yearly report to social security telling them what the money was spent on.  There are some pretty hefty guidelines for putting it in a savings accounts and such, so make sure you ask them for the guild lines when you have your appointment.  There is a baseline amount that they will receive and it will be split between the 2 kids. 

Yes they will notify her that the children are getting benefits, but there is nothing she can do about it going to you, as you will be considered guardian of their money.  Dont be surprised if they dont back date it the time frame that she started receiving benefits, So be wary once she finds out that you are getting this money that she doesnt try and switch out how you recieve it. ( been there done that) Our situation was that she found out that they were back paying the youngest since he had never been put on her disability, and she filed a direct deposit to HER checking account so that she could get the large check, It back fired on her as I report the payment stolen and treasury deptment went after her for the payback of it. 

In my case when I filed for child support because I was already given guardianship of the ssi money for the boys Child support agency in Ohio used that money as her child support. The only person who ended up paying actual child support was the father. 

I am wondering if anyone has any dealings with RAD? I am beginning to believe that the boys may be starting to show some signs of it as they get older. Not saying they haven't bonded with me or my husband, but they are showing some signs of this disorder.

This can be done rather easily as Ocean has stated.  Both children should be listed on her disability and with the proper paperwork can be switched within a month.  Word to the wise though make sure  you have it set up so that the way the payments are sent cant be changed by her once you get the guardianship of their money.  I personally use the debit cards for it, that way if any changes are made I get a notification from SS.

If she is getting disability from social security there is supplemental amount paid for the children. You need to go to Social security office and apply for guardianship of this money for the children since you have custody. If she has not filed for the children you will be able to add them to her disability and start receiving this money, and there is a possibility that you will be given back pay from the start of her disability for the children. The amount is a set amount of 454.00 per month and it will be split between the children.  There will be a yearly form that you will have to fill out stating where the money has been spent but is a very basic form. 

I had to do this for my nephews when I received custody of them.. Plan on it taking a few weeks to go through, but is a very easy process to do.. it will count as her child support but at least you will be getting something from her

These children are my nephews.  My husband and I have had permanent custody of them for almost 4 years now.  Their mother is my husbands sister, We reside in one state and she in another. She is in a 2 abusive relationships, and has been for a few years now.  She had huge legal issues, that put her in jail for a few months.  She has tried on several occasions to set up visitations behind our backs through other family members, at our expense.  In the 4 years that we have had the children she has seen them 5 times in the past 4 years.  This had been her choice.    Up until the past 5 months or so we have been receptive to any of her visits and been very compromising on them.  Ie. her calling and saying we are on our way.. see you in 10 hours.. not happy about it but allowed it.  Then the threats started that she was going to do major bodily harm to me.  Never against the children but to me.  The protection order was obtained due the fact that I was told by other family members that she was coming to our state  without notification, and my bonifide fear of being harmed.  I have seen the aftermaths of her violent attacks and really dont want to be in the middle of them.  Nor do I want the boys involved with them as they are starting to have flashback memories of when they were with her and the police being called to the house on an average of 8 times a month. 


Custody order is completely open..she must contact us prior to visitations.  She has the ability to contact through our attorney to make these arrangements, we however at this time are working towards taking her visitations towards supervised with sobriety and drug testing done before the visit may be obtained.  We have told her that she needs to implement the requests for visits and needs to be responisible for the travel.  If we happen to back and visit other family members in  the area she lives in my husband has no issues with taking them to visit her in a nuetral public venue.  At this point anything out of the public would only be more trouble for my husband and is in the best interest of all parties. 

Yes I was able to get an ex-parte protection order against the boys mother, due to her threatening to come beat me upside the head.  We go back to court on the 24th to make it permanent. We were notified by the boys grandmother that she was planning to come from new jersey to ohio to visit with out contacting up first.  We have permanant custody of the children and she has "reasonable" visitations.  She has been told due to her threatening me that she was not allowed on our property how ever she believes she is above what she is told she is aloud to do concerning my household and life.  She had been sent a letter by our attorney stating that her actions were harassing and menacing, and that in ohio they could be considered stalking.  After she recieved that letter she still continued to call the house phone when told she could contact her children from 7-8 pm daily, or leave voicemail for them and they would call back between that hour.  We only left the US Mail as her option for comunications with us as she was abusing the email and cell phone with text msgs.  She also had the attorney's information to go through also if she needed faster communication.  Fortuentely for us she didnt show up this week, but I also feel like I am no longer her victim.  I have finally stood my ground with her and am done with her.  I hope on the 24th that they continue the protection order for me.  I was not able to get one for the children as she has not threatened them or verbalized that she was anyone that she was going go come and take them. 

I am filing for a CPO in the morning but have  no clue what to expect with the process.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated