Child Support Modification vs. Disability Benefits. What to do?

[Fatherforever]

 Hello again,

I have a question and it may be very specific to the issues with my ex wife so I hope this will all make sense!

I have primary custody (75%/25%) of our two young boys (ages 3 and 5). My ex wife was calculated to pay $445 in child support, but that was brought to zero, using the residential creditin our divorce decree last year (2008). She doesn't help pay anything. She has been on disability (she was diagnosed with cancer beginning of the year, ended chemo in September 2009) since late last year. What would be the steps I would need to take to get child support?

1. Can I go to social security office and get guardianship of the children's disability benefits through her SSN? or is that something she would need to do? (and I know she wouldn't do it!)

2. Or do I first need to modify the order to show she owes support, and go through DSHS?

3. Or do I need to modify the order and then go through her disability?

And some people have mentioned in other discussions about getting disability for the children through her SSN, but what exactly must be done in order to achieve this? I mean is it legal to use her SSN to get benefits for the children without her permission? I don't know what route to take... especially since she is on disability, her child support would be $25 per child, since she makes under $1000 a month (according to Washington state law).

Thank you all for your help.
~Confused... Fatherforever

[ocean]

You go to the SS office and fill out a claim for the children. SHE was asked when she filled out her application out if she had children so my guess is either:
-she was denied benefits and getting SS benefits from a job privately
or
- she put down kids and is getting the money.

If she gets the federal SSDI then you are legally allowed to go and put in a claim. You need proof, bring birth certificates and one more ID to prove their name/ages. You need proof of who you are and that you have legal custody of kids. IF she is getting the money for them, then they will go after her and not pay her until that money is repaid. YOU will get a retro check from when she started getting disability.

I would go this route first and see what she is getting....disability depending on the type of job she had can be a lot then you might not want to go after child support and the hassle of it if you are getting money from SSDI. They direct deposit in your account once a month.

You can try calling them first, they may tell you if there is a case open. Sometimes they take the case over the phone or give you an appt to come in.

[MixedBag]

I too agree with this approach -- if you can keep it out of family court, then it's worth a try.

[Shanni]

This can be done rather easily as Ocean has stated.  Both children should be listed on her disability and with the proper paperwork can be switched within a month.  Word to the wise though make sure  you have it set up so that the way the payments are sent cant be changed by her once you get the guardianship of their money.  I personally use the debit cards for it, that way if any changes are made I get a notification from SS.

[Fatherforever]

Ocean,

So if I go to the social security office and she has been getting money for the children, would that be social security disability fraud if she has been getting the children's money?

And as far as bringing information about having legal custody of the children, do I just need my divorce decree? I mean we have joint custody but they live with me 75+% of the time. The thing that I will have problem with is that the social security office is opened from 9 to 5 on weekdays, looks like I may have to take an early day to go get this figured out.

She has been on disability for over a year, does that mean that she would have to pay back all the children's money she has been getting for all that time.

Thanks so much for your help!

[ocean]

Let them deal with the money fraud part of it (maybe she never put the kids on it??)...just call them on your lunch break and ask how you go about getting the benefits under their mother since you have custody. They may tell you right on phone if she has been getting benefits.

Yes bring divorce decree...ss cards, birth certificates, utility bills to prove address....(they asked for so much...lol)

Yes you would get back pay but sometimes there is a wait period depending on the disability. SO she may not have gotten money for the first 3-6 months...

The other poster is right...if she is already approved you can easily prove that you get the benefits and be paid next month...

Are you sure she gets SSDI from the government? or through her last job? or both?

[Fatherforever]

A little update...

Called Social Security today, was able to get information about what my Ex is receiving. The woman I talked with said that she is getting SSD (social security disability) and setup an appointment for me next Tuesday to get everything setup. At that time they will determine the amount the children's benefit will be. She also explained to me on the phone that there was no way she could have claimed the children without proof that they lived with her and since are divorce decree says otherwise... she couldn't claim them.

Now of course this post would not be complete without another question... since I would be receiving some financial help for the children from my Ex in a round about way; does she still owe her share in child care costs? (in our decree child care costs were kept separate from child support and she owes 35.2% of day care costs). Is it up to her to file a change in income to change the percentaged owed with her being on disability? I am asking because she still owes me $1,252 in day care for the second half of this year.

I hope this outcome with social security benefits for the children, will be helpful to others put in a similiar situation.

~Fatherforever

[ocean]

YEAHHH !!! Good, next week they will put you in their system and you will get payments! Did she say if they will backdate it...they should....

Yes, she owes the daycare costs AND you can even get CHild support from her (the percentage taken from HER disability check). Send her the receipts certified mail then file a contempt charge (she will not be able to bring up a child support case at that hearing so she will only be answering for why she is not paying what is court ordered).
Then you can make a decision if you want to go for child support too...

[Shanni]

In my case when I filed for child support because I was already given guardianship of the ssi money for the boys Child support agency in Ohio used that money as her child support. The only person who ended up paying actual child support was the father. 

[Fatherforever]

I did not ask during the phone conversation about back dating their benefits, nor could she tell me how much money my Ex was claiming on disability. I will definitely ask when I go in and get everything setup for the children.

I wasn't planning on filing for child support anytime soon, I just want to be sure the children get the proper care they need. In future if my Ex Wife ever decides to work again (I believe she will stay on disability until they kick her off of it) I think at that time I would file for child support modification.

I will file for contempt beginning of the year, want to get all this years' day care expenses in one contempt motion.

Will social security notify her that her children are receiving benefits off her social security? I will be excited to tell her that I am getting money from her social security after her telling me again and again she isn't going to help pay, etc. I'm allowed to be a little evil towards her sometimes :-), especially after her latest voice mail:

"And also motherf#cker... don't even expect no more money from me 'cause you ain't getting it and you can try to take me to court, because they won't take sh!t from me, they'll laugh in your f#ckin' face! Cause they can't take any money from my social security, so you're pretty much f#ckin' screwed you stupid piece of sh!t..."

A small victory for my children, and some sweet justice for me. :-)