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  This whole custody thing has just been a crazy adventure, I have tried being reasonable with my ex but that has expired and now I have to look like the bad guy and do things through courts and lawyers. Common sense has gotten me nowhere and its a shame all this money has to be spent. There are days when I feel as though I am just beating a dead horse the process takes soooo long and I have a feeling neither of us will like what they reccomend. Just wanted all your thoughts on this.

We just finished up custody evals, so we are waiting for the reports for the court.  There already is an order in place regaurding my ex's girlfriend that reads limited unsupervised contact. There have been some issues in the past, mainly personality conflicts between daughter and girlfriend. Which lead to an emergency relief order but that was just pertaining to the school year. After the eval report I am going to request the right of first refusal be put in the order,only because the order we have now is not clearly written. I just don't see why we use our children as pawns to get back at an ex. Seems logical if one paent is unavalable the other would see them unless they are unavailable and then other arrangments would be made. Guess  I am thinking to normal,courts don't work that way.

Seems silly that we are really going through this, but here it goes. Me and my ex have joint custody sharing primary, now that school is out, my ex works during the day and I am home. I have told him on several occasions i would take her during the day while he is working. Of coarse he would rather be run over by a bus before he does that so he has been letting our daughter stay with his live in girlfriend. What would a court say about this? Is it worth pursuing? Doesn't time with a parent trump a girlfriend? Oh and the custody order states she is to be with her paternal grandmother while father is working. Help....

The therapist doesn't tell us anything. Confidentiality thing. The medical stuff is all custody related and didn't come up.  She is 11 by the way.

  She was referred into therapy by her pediatrician, which we both agreed on. She initialy went into therapy to discusee feelings and issues she was having with fathers girlfriend. Personality differences. You have to understand why she would be so confused. Father started dating which was fine with her, she then after 2 years of father being single, was told by her father he didn't want to date anymore and wanted to spend all of his time with her. Then the dates again maybe 3 months after telling her this, meets a woman who has a child, understand our daughter is an only child, so she of coarse has a problem with this, then he tells her, " I don't spend any time with GF's daughter, then he calls from the beach where he is with GF and her daughter. Then they move in, which is when therapy started to try to get feelings out and for her to understand her dad is still her dad. Father then tells her, he wants to date a woman with a child because she won't want anymore, what happens 3 months later??? He tells her she will have a sibling, hmmm. So we continue therapy. In between all this, child is informi9ng both of us about her concerns and when I try to talk with him about it, he says she is perfectly happy and she has no issues. Our daughter has broken a few of GF's things, when I told father, he talked with daughter, what he said I don't know, and then the story changed to the things broken were accidents. I am very confused, father tells child often things will get better, things just seem to be getting worse by the day. I don't even ask anymore how was time at dads because I know she gets weird and won't talk to either of us anymore, just the therapist. Sometimes I worry that she is afraid of hurting us, but I can't tell anymore.

  True I didn't. I am not alleging abuse, maybe mental abuse but not used for this. Reason was that I am available 100% of the time and our daughter is in therapy for issues with myex's girlfriend. What issues I or I should say we have no idea.  Hopefully we will find out through getting the evals. Plus this is what we have always done in the past before girlfriend entered the picture. Status quo senerio I guess. Plus it's what my daughter wants. i know kids don't really have a say in court but I think being in therapy weighs heavily with a judge.

  The new order states that girlfriend is not to have unsupervised contact until evaluations are completed. My ex was also found in contempt because he did not inform me of daycare changes and tried to cover up he was trying to get girlfriend on emergency contact sheets at school.  There are alot of lies surrounding this custody battle. Somedays I wanna give up because it is very hard to catch a liar, so far I have but it costs alot of time and money As far as some thinking this is about me and not my child..... I have to listen and take in what my daughter tells me, I have gone to her father with what she says, he becomes very confrontational and angry which is odd to me. I wonder why he would get this way. He has gone in and talked to her therapist to try and sway her more in his favor which is just weird. I could sit here and write a book with everything that has happened in less than a year.

 First I am not shallow. But that is the issue...appearance. Seems she thinks my ex may want be back! Crazy but true. i do not even want him I am remarried and happy. None the less the emergency relief order went through, and because he is in contempt he is responsible for my lawyer fees. HA!

  I have tried to get to know my ex's girlfriend, she is very bitter and cold when it comes to me. I don't want to sound vain in any way but it is all appearance oriented! She is a big girl with a poor attitude, and I am thin with a better attitude. She gets upset if me and my x discuss our daughter, so all that has stopped. She goes into court with my ex and is always turned out, yet she always wants to comment. I have told her this is not her battle and yet she continues on her evil path. The issue with her watching our child is more of a respect issue. In the past if I had to go anywhere without my child I would call her father to see if he was available and he did the same with me. He never wanted me to leave her with my husband because he was available. Now I feel like I am being slapped in the face for being nice. What the hell more can I do?? We did a custody order around his schedule, weekends around girlfriends daughter's visits, I mean I am at the point where I just wanna say screw it! I am so stressed out over all this, when do we as parents put our children first and our needs second?

According to the lawyers, as long as a parent is available the other parent must call them first if they will be gone more than 3 hours. I do not know my ex's girlfriend so therefore i do not want my child left with her. The girlfriend seems ntimidated by me, but i think she is going by looks.  I cannot help her self esteem is low, or so I assume. She seems to think I want my ex back and that is why this is all going on. She couldn't be farther from the truth.