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Messages - sarasue

#1
Child Support Issues / Re: does he have a prayer
Jul 22, 2013, 06:12:42 AM
Thanks for validating.  I have run the numbers and provided to him, demonstrating he's below the state guidelines and reasoned that his current level of support would be what he might get in reduction for travel costs.  And we are in Illinois, and based on all that I have read, step-parent income isn't part of the equation.  Also, just a point of clarification, when we agreed to reduced child support amount, we did file that agreement with the court.  Illinois does mandatory garnishments, so I'm not even sure how you'd reduce a child support amount without filing it and obtaining the court ordered wage garnishment to present to the employer.  However, to your point, I could seek to recoup the difference between the reduced amount we agreed to and the super-reduced amount that occurred when he received subsequent raises and prior to his voluntary move in addition to the expenses he hasn't paid for.

Very interesting, thanks for your feedback!  We are attending mediation first, but it helps to know where I stand and what could happen should we not agree and end up in court.
#2
Child Support Issues / does he have a prayer
Jul 19, 2013, 11:37:43 AM
My ex and I have been divorced 3 years.  When we divorced, he made a very decent salary.  He has since been fired from that job, took a new job with a significant pay cut, was fired from that job and had a series of contract positions.  During that time, I agreed to accept less than state (Illinois) minimum guidelines in child support and agreed to split the cost of the kids health insurance with him, though our JPA states he pays 100% of it.  He was having a tough time making ends meet and because of his parenting time (every other weekend and two nights per week), I thought it was reasonable to compromise.

Since then he has received a raise, and I did not seek to increase support.  It wasn't worth the emotional costs of angering him.   And then 8 months ago, he chose to move out of state.  Not for a job, not for a relationship but because he didn't like the state we lived in.  I did not object to this move.  We have verbally agreed on the adjusted parenting agreement including his visitation, holidays, and that he pays for 100% of travel for visitation.  In addition, he often doesn't reimburse me for half of kids activities and he didn't pay one dime for our son's orthodontia. 

A few weeks ago I told him I was getting remarried and that we were moving to a new house across the street (keeping kids within same school and same neighborhood support system).  He quickly decided to ask me for a reduction in child support based on:
1.  My remarriage and better financial position
2.  His move and costs of travel
I responded that the marriage had no bearing on his responsibility for child support.  That my husband was not obligated to support the kids.  As for the travel costs, I pointed out that I was already getting less than the state guidelines by about $400 a month, and in the spirit of compromise, I would not be seeking a change.  My perspective is that he should have factored in travel costs when he decided to abandon his kids for a change of scenery.  I was willing to compromise with him when he lived here and shared in the responsibility of parenting, but now that he has left, I don't think the kids support amount should be the answer to his financial issues.

Well, he doesn't agree and is dragging me into mediation (required by our MSA before we are allowed to go back to court).  Am I correct that he does not have a prayer here?
#3
Thank you for the responses and suggestions.  I agree, it's basically working for now and I'd rather not go back to court.  I was afraid that it would come back to bite me that I didn't have any of the agreements formalized.  However, at this point, he's paying for travel and using less time with the kids then his allotment, which is disappointing to me as I feel that he is all but abandoning them, but not a reason to drag him back into court.  How he forms and reinforces a relationship with them is his issue.  I will support what time he chooses to spend with them.

As for why he is threatening an attorney in his state... I don't know really, just to be spiteful?  He often threatens me that he will take me back to court.  What he thinks he will get out of it is beyond me.  I've already commented on his parenting time, I've agreed to accept less than state guidelines in child support, he's supposed to cover all of kids health insurance, but I carry it and pay half.  He often doesn't reimburse me for half of kids activities and he didn't pay one dime for our son's orthodontia.  That on top of voluntarily moving thousands of miles away from his kids.  So I can't conceive of what he thinks he would gain.
#4
My ex and I have been divorced 3 years.  When we divorced, we lived in the same county.  We established a joint-parenting agreement in which I have primary custody, he had twice weekly and every other weekend visitation and we have joint legal custody.  6 months ago, he chose to move out of state.  Not for a job, not for a relationship but because he didn't like the state we lived in.  I did not object to this move.  We have verbally agreed on the adjusted parenting agreement including his visitation, holidays, and that he pays for 100% of travel for visitation.  Since then, I have been pushing him to make the agreement official by filing with the court.  He refuses.  My question is, what are the risks to my kids and to myself of allowing the situation to persist?  Is it worth the expense and bad blood of pushing the issue and forcing him into mediation or court?  Finally, he has threatened to get an attorney in his new state...am I correct in assuming that won't really do any good for him since the divorce occurred in my state and that is where the children reside?