does he have a prayer

[sarasue]

My ex and I have been divorced 3 years.  When we divorced, he made a very decent salary.  He has since been fired from that job, took a new job with a significant pay cut, was fired from that job and had a series of contract positions.  During that time, I agreed to accept less than state (Illinois) minimum guidelines in child support and agreed to split the cost of the kids health insurance with him, though our JPA states he pays 100% of it.  He was having a tough time making ends meet and because of his parenting time (every other weekend and two nights per week), I thought it was reasonable to compromise.

Since then he has received a raise, and I did not seek to increase support.  It wasn't worth the emotional costs of angering him.   And then 8 months ago, he chose to move out of state.  Not for a job, not for a relationship but because he didn't like the state we lived in.  I did not object to this move.  We have verbally agreed on the adjusted parenting agreement including his visitation, holidays, and that he pays for 100% of travel for visitation.  In addition, he often doesn't reimburse me for half of kids activities and he didn't pay one dime for our son's orthodontia. 

A few weeks ago I told him I was getting remarried and that we were moving to a new house across the street (keeping kids within same school and same neighborhood support system).  He quickly decided to ask me for a reduction in child support based on:
1.  My remarriage and better financial position
2.  His move and costs of travel
I responded that the marriage had no bearing on his responsibility for child support.  That my husband was not obligated to support the kids.  As for the travel costs, I pointed out that I was already getting less than the state guidelines by about $400 a month, and in the spirit of compromise, I would not be seeking a change.  My perspective is that he should have factored in travel costs when he decided to abandon his kids for a change of scenery.  I was willing to compromise with him when he lived here and shared in the responsibility of parenting, but now that he has left, I don't think the kids support amount should be the answer to his financial issues.

Well, he doesn't agree and is dragging me into mediation (required by our MSA before we are allowed to go back to court).  Am I correct that he does not have a prayer here?

[MixedBag]

not due to your new marriage

but yes potentially for his move.

maybe it's time to crunch the numbers again into a state's calculator and see what's up since you two have deviated from the original order so much....  (which I think was nice....of both of you to agree to, but orders are what matters).

[ocean]

Nope,, judge may even order past arrears as he was supposed to go back to court and get the court order modified each time you both agreed.
Some states input step parents earnings. Do you have any of these changes on paper? email? texts?

Unless you agree, they will go by the numbers and you can ask for the activity and orthodontist bills to the mix. He moved so he should be responsible for travel costs.

[sarasue]

Thanks for validating.  I have run the numbers and provided to him, demonstrating he's below the state guidelines and reasoned that his current level of support would be what he might get in reduction for travel costs.  And we are in Illinois, and based on all that I have read, step-parent income isn't part of the equation.  Also, just a point of clarification, when we agreed to reduced child support amount, we did file that agreement with the court.  Illinois does mandatory garnishments, so I'm not even sure how you'd reduce a child support amount without filing it and obtaining the court ordered wage garnishment to present to the employer.  However, to your point, I could seek to recoup the difference between the reduced amount we agreed to and the super-reduced amount that occurred when he received subsequent raises and prior to his voluntary move in addition to the expenses he hasn't paid for.

Very interesting, thanks for your feedback!  We are attending mediation first, but it helps to know where I stand and what could happen should we not agree and end up in court.

[MixedBag]

Maybe the mediator can explain this to him.

I know EX#1 expected CS to be simply cut in half when OD emancipated and only MD was left.

It took the lady at DHR to explain it to him -- and I think he STILL didn't want to understand because it didn't go "his way".....