Messages

Giggles your last post hit me harder then anything else so far. and your totally right. i think somewhere inside i was still emotionally tieing myself to someone who was my best friend of two years before she became my wife....but your 100% right. the relationship is over and im facing that now. the most important thing right now is that baby and thats what im focusing on.  i mailed her all the pictures i had of us and a few things she had given me that i held on to today. it was a lot easier then i thought it would be. Im still totally overwhelmed by this whole situation but you all have given me a lot of hope in this. id hug you all if i could lol. i'll keep you posted. oh and that article was intense to say the least. thank you

i know you both are right. i have been trying my hardest not to invest too much emotions into this aside from the ones that I simply cant help. im calling the legal aide intake number later today. any advice as far as working with legal aide? what i should look out for and such? and thank you all again. the clarity that you all have brought is worth its weight in gold.  oh and I already made the mistake of giving her money to help with the pregnancy. i stopped doing this a few months ago but at first she laid a pretty good guilt trip on me about needing to prove I wanted to be involved and when I told her I simply did not have the money to spare she turned that into I did not care or want to be involved and even went as far as to say I was ashamed of her and the child. this woman really knows exactly how to get under my skin lol

*update*
I just got off the phone with my Ex. she flipped out on me for not being willing to sign anything visitation or custody related until paternity was established. She also said that "everyone" has told her she was owed spousal support and I should have given her more money during this pregnancy and that it was my "sole" responsibilite to set up and pay for the paternity test. she says she has a document thats labeled "not valid until positive paternity results are received" or something to that nature that she wanted me to sign that basically spelled out custody and visitation. again she flipped when i told her i would look it over but i would not sign it.

she told me only a week after we seperated this last time. and I received the due date from the doctor so it should be somewhat accurate. im 95% sure the baby is mine but its that 5% is whats messing everything up.

just wanted to thank you all for your advice. this whole thing is so overwhelming and I dont know where to start. from the time I even thought of wanting to be a dad I always wanted a baby girl and now that she is pregnate with a girl im torn because i dont know how to be excited about it cause i dont know if shes mine or not. im calling legal aide tomorrow. again thank you all for your advice. knowing im not alone helps a lot. im so glad i found this forum.

so what should i do about her wanting to meet up beforehand and set down some guidelines for visitation and such? should i do this or wait. she says nothing would be signed but im still not sure how this would all play out. and no the divorce is not done yet. the papers have not even been written up.

My wife and I were married in october just last year and almost immediately she started cheating on me. we seperated in january of this year and have been so ever since except for a two week period in march where we tried again and she then left me for one of her ex's. well in that two week time she became pregnate. 

I also found out that in febuary of the same year she had slept with two other men, one of whom was my best friend.  she is due in late december which leads me to believe the child is mine but paternity has yet to be established. she contacted me yesterday wanting to get together to write up some custody guidelines before the child is born in case it is mine. Ive never had a child before, im only 25 years old.

im still new to the divorce scene so the idea of custody arrangements is completely overwhelming, I am trying to get ahold of a legal aide office to try and get repersentation but money is very tight right now and I have not gotten a call back. the mother has flip-flopped thruout this whole pregnancy as to how involved she would let me be and Im still not sure I will even be informed when the child is born.

she waited an extra two weeks after finding out the sex of the baby to tell me. she has shown herself to be a manipulator when it comes to securing her own self interest and I dont know if i should even meet with her yet and if i do what I should do to ensure that if that baby girl is mine i will be allowed to be in her life like I am wanting to be. any advice in this would be most appreciated. if it helps I live in Oklahoma. Thank you.