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Child Support Issues / 18 and school left...moving back with mom
« on: May 08, 2012, 06:25:29 PM »
If my son moves back to ex when he is 18 and has 1 year left of school (maybe 2 if he doesn't do summer school while he is with her) Can I still keep the physical custody(the way the court order is now) just in case he doesn't like it there? What if she fights for a official custody change complete with child support ordered against me again?  Also can I just call child support and have them suspend her paying me child support but leave the case open? or would she be able to come after me right away for child support?

She has told him since I got custody at age 10 that when he turned 15 or 16 he could go to court and tell the judge he wants to live with mom...lots of pain along the way the last 8 years and I want to be done with this. I don't want him to move but if he is 18 what choice do I really have? Then there is the thing of if he is 18 and wants to move out, even if it is with his mom, who lost custody to me, isn't that an "adult" decision and he should be emancipated?

This is in MN also.

I am unwilling to give this B--ch one more cent for all the pain over the years...and I can't really afford it right now also.

Texas State Forum / CS & Free ride
« on: Oct 29, 2009, 03:50:10 AM »
Can a NCP mother that just moved to Texas that owes CS to MN get on welfare? Does Texas welfare check for owed CS on both sexes??

Or should I saw lack of child support...I know this is a touchy subject with some, but dang it...I wish I would receive some now.

In short, I got custody of my son from his mother after 10 long years of struggling to remain part of my son's life. I endured restraining orders, police calls, long move always and finally accusations of sexual abuse against my son. That was the last straw...after she moved to Iowa and I lost the court fight judge warned her not to screw with my visitation or it would be grounds for a custody switch.
One year later the accusations came and I went a month and a half without seeing my son. After jumping through the hoops to clear my name and get visitation back I went to court for custody. 9 months later of court crap the judge made good on her threat and I won custody.

That about 2 years ago, my son is doing excellent in school now, missed 3 days last year, none this year and been tardy twice. Lowest grade is a C with 3 A's and rest B's.  Down from with her missing 7-12 days a year and tardy 14+ times a year!!!

My home is very busy, girlfriend has 4 kids herself plus one that we just "got out of the house" and is having a baby herself. I work nights, girlfriend works days...bills are piling up, food is going up, heat is going up, gas for the 800 plus miles I drive to let him see his mother is going up!

I am starting to get pissed now that I haven't got anything of support from that (I'll use it this time) DEADBEAT MOTHER.

I always paid on time and NEVER missed and was NEVER without a job while she had him. Now I am getting nothing while on the "other side." That brings me to mixed emotions. I now how hard it is to struggle while paying CS...I did that for 10 years, I went to the capital in MN and testified in front of the Senators in MN for fairer CS laws. Fairer enforcement. (I felt CS was too high and enforcent to strict for most) Now I feel like I am getting screwed.

I don't know, but it would be nice to get some help from her. I don't want her to have to struggle like I did...I don't hate her like that. But come on now I think. It's been 2 years and now help. She's only $4000 behind...not some $20,000 like other I her about in the news. But a couple hundred a month would help right about now.

I would think some women would make house payments on CS, buy cars, clothes etc etc....Well some do...my ex lost her 2005 Mazda 6 when CS stopped from me...

I had a 90 Beretta with 250,000 miles on it...guess what. 2 months after I got custody I got nailed in the side and they totaled the car, I got $1200 for it. Out a vehicle that ran great, was paid off and I am back to making payments. Oh yeh, no 2005 for me...I got a cheap '99 grand pix...which is now racking up tons of miles driving back and forth for visitation. I spend almost about what I "saved" by not having to pay CS in gas now.

I've called CS and they keep giving the run around...Iowa is suppose to handle it...call Iowa and they haven't entered it in the system yet. Call MN and they sent everything down...Iowa is suppose to handle it don't call Iowa call MN they say.

I am beginning to think there is enforcement difference between sexes. MN just did a study and found differences in enforcement by county and wondered why that is. DUH...everybody knows it difference with the judges...just like with visitation cases, custody cases...its the judge's not the counties.

What can a person do to get some action if you're a guy that is owed CS? I know that sounds sexist or bad but that is what I am feeling now. I wasn't mad before but after 2 years my patience is running thinner now.

Any ideas? Any thoughts? Am I thinking right? or am I just thinking vindictively now?

Minnesota State Forum / Update from my custody case....
« on: Aug 30, 2004, 02:59:07 PM »
I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After ten years I get my son FULL TIME starting Sep. 1st.  

She has visitation + the judge ruled she MUST pay CS!!!!!!

If you missed that.......WE WON!!!!!!!!

THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS to all those that helped......God Bess

And to advise others...Document Document Document....Judge refurred back to Doctor records that I filed with my Motion for custody that dated back to 1994 to create a clear patten of interferace and accussing me of things I never did.

There is hope.........THANKS TO EVERBODY!!!!!!!




Minnesota State Forum / Some good news so far...
« on: Jul 02, 2004, 03:50:15 PM »
Honorable Judge
Todd County District Court

(her) vs (Me)topher Peterson
Case Number:
Guardian Ad Litem Report

Dear Judge XXXXXX:

Motion to Change Custody

(Son)’ s elementary school teacher GXXXXX EXXXXXX
Siouxland Community Health Center
(Son)’ s therapist JXXXXX
(Her Mom)
(My Girlfriend)
Girl friend daughter

School reports
Clinic Reports
Diagnostic Assessment — Parental Capacity for (Me)
Child Abuse Assessment — Not Confirmed
Court Reports

This writer met with (Me) and (Son) in Willmar on May 15. (Son) appears to have a close relationship with (My Girlfriend) children and with (Me). (Son) was very happy and played well with the other children in the home. (Me) appears to have a good relationship with (My Girlfriend)’s children and is definitely acting as a father figure. (Son) did not want to talk with this writer. He appeared to just want all the court business and discord between mom and dad to STOP. (My Girlfriend)’s eleven-year-old daughter, Girl friends daughter, requested to talk to this writer alone. Girl friends daughter just wanted to share that all of the children love and miss (Son) and they think of him as a brother.

This writer met with (her) and her mother, (Her Mom), and (Son) in Sioux City on May XX. (her)’s home is adequate for herself and (Son). (Son) has his own room. (Her Mom) had a lot more to say than (her). (Her Mom) had concerns regarding the first hearing in 2003 and questions about her husband and his anger problems. (Her Mom) questioned me about why the Psych. Evals. were set up in XXXXX. It was explained that the court asked for three names and their fees so the least expensive one could be chosen. Ms. XXXXX’s name was one of the names the court was familiar with. (her) told this writer that she could not afford the fee, nor could she miss work without putting her job in jeopardy. Those were the reasons for not following the court order of Feb. 19, 2004. To this writer’s knowledge, the court was not notified that (her) would not be following the court order regarding the evals. I was able to visit a little bit with (Son) during this home visit. He was willing to interact while we all sat around the kitchen table. My visit was video taped by (her) without my prior consent. This writer became aware of the taping only after (Son) was playing with the camera and made some comments, at which time I turned and saw the camera.

Reports from the clinic indicated that (Son) has had normal sore throats and flu-type symptoms. In May of 2004 (Son) was seen for abdominal pain which comes and goes. It was felt that he was under a little more stress due to the problems between (her) and (Me).

A report from (Son)’s teacher indicated that he has made gradual progress this year. It is difficult for him to stay focused and motivated. During the last nine weeks of school, (Son)’s absences and tardies greatly decreased. According to (Son)’s report card, he was absent for four days and had twelve tardies for the school year.

This writer spoke with XXXXXXX on the phone but has not received anything in writing. XXXXXX confirmed that she has seen (Son)

approximately two times a month since January 2004. She reported that (Son) worked with a sand table for three or four sessions and turned it into a battle field. XXXXXXX feels that (Son) sees his life as a battle between his parents. XXXXXX has seen nothing to make her believe that (Son) has suffered any sexual abuse. On the original visit (her) spent most of the time talking to XXXXXXX and really pushed the fact that she was looking for something to substantiate that (Son) had been sexually abused. This information was substantiated by comments in a Child Protective Assessment by HXXXX MXXXXX. This assessment states “Ms XXXXX did state that she felt a great deal of pressure from (her) . (her) was requesting that she write a letter to the Court in order to stop visitation between her son, (Son) , and his biological father.”


1. Lack of cooperation between the two parties. There appears to be no willingness to change or modify a visit when it becomes necessary. (Son) is put in the middle frequently, even if it is subtly.
2. A disruption with (Me)’s parenting time. i.e. Police being called on more that one occasion, phone calls not responded to, common courtesies not being used, and accusations of sexual abuse.
3. (her) not having a diagnostic assessment — parental capacity completed.
4. (her)’s continued contact with Michael, whom she claims has been abusive in the past.


(1) The wishes of the child’s parent or parents as to custody;
Both parents love and want (Son) to live with them. Both parents feel
they are the best person to have custody.

(2) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient age to express preference;
This writer does not feel (Son) is of sufficient age to express a
preference. (Son) feels he is in a battle, as his parents are unable to
deal cooperatively for his best interests.

(her) has been (Son)’s primary caretaker, except for last summer when (Son) spent most of the summer with (Me). (her) takes (Son) to doctors’ appointments. (Me) would take (Son) to the doctor when necessary. (Me) also took (Son) to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup.

(4) The intimacy of the relationship between each parent and the child;
This writer witnessed a positive relationship between both parents and

(5) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with a parent or parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests;
While at (her)’s home, (Son) has a close relationship with his grandmother, grandfather, and two cousins. While at (Me)’s home, (Son) has (My Girlfriend) and all of her children, whom he has a sibling relationship with.

(6) The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community; (Son) appears well adjusted to primary environment.

(7) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;
(Son) has had several moves in his life and has not had a completely stable environment for any extended period of time.

(8) The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home;
It would appear that (Me)’s long standing relationship with (My Girlfriend) and her children, along with his extended time of living in the same house and holding down the same job, would show permanency. (her) has had several jobs and has moved repeatedly. (her)’s relationship with MXXXXXXwas abusive and caused (her) to move to a women’s shelter prior to moving to Iowa.

(9) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved; except that a disability, as defined in section 363.01, of a proposed custodian or the child shall not be determinative of the custody of the child, unless the proposed custodial arrangement is not in the best interest of the child;

To this writer’s knowledge, both (her) and (Me) are in good physical health. Attached please find a copy to the court of (Me)’s Diagnostic Assessment and Parental Capacity. (Me) did not project a profile of any personality disorders. The Child Abuse Potential Inventory resulted in a valid profile. Scales were in the normal range, which suggest that he does not engage in the type of thinking that would be characteristic of known physical child abusers. (Me) is not experiencing stress in the area of parenting his child. He does experience some stress due to the discord between himself and (her). The psychologist XXXXXX, Ph.D. made the following recommendations: No recommendations seem to be appropriate, as (Me) appears to be a well functioning man who is not experiencing psychopathology or problematic thinking that would interfere with his being able to provide a nurturing home for his son. The indicators in the evaluation would be that he more than likely does not need to engage in any kind of psychological treatment at this time. This writer has no information on (her)’s mental health or her potential to parent due to the fact that no Diagnostic Assessment or Parental Capacity was completed.

(10) The capacity and disposition of the parties to give the child love, affection, and guidance, and to continue educating and raising the child in the child’s culture and religion or creed, if any;
To this writer’s knowledge there is no disagreement on (10).

(11) The child’s cultural background;
To this writer’s knowledge there is no disagreement on (11).

(12) The effect on the child of the actions of an abuser, if related to domestic abuse, as defined in section 518.01, that has occurred between the parents or between a parent and another individual, whether or not the individual alleged to have committed domestic abuse is or ever was a family or household member of the parent; and
(13) Expect in cases in which a finding of domestic abuse as defined in section 518B.01 has been made, the disposition of each parent to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact by the other parent with the child.
(her)’s relationship with XXXXXX, who has been identified as being abusive in the past.

1. Primary physical custody of (Son) be transferred to (Me).
2. (Son) have on going mental health services to meet his needs.
3. (Me) and (her) work cooperatively regarding visits and vacations to meet (Son)’ s best interests.
4. There be no negative talk from anyone regarding either parent.

This information is true and accurate to the best of this writer’s
knowledge. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at any time.

Respectfully Submitted,

Guardian Ad Litem

Cc: (her)

I heard they where this month but don't know the day and time.

Minnesota State Forum / eval update...
« on: Mar 01, 2004, 01:21:06 AM »
I got the latest order from the judge in Todd county. She made an order for the evlauation a vonuntary one. Gave me make-up visitation with my son for the time I was wrongly keep from visitation. (It was wrote that "The father has been unfairly denied two weekend visits and is entitled to compensatory parenting to to include an additional weekend of his choice between now and April 1, and to include the Friday before and the Monday following Easter Sunday.")
8. Types of Reports and Deadlines. The Guardian shall file a final written report whithin 30 days which advises the court as to the childrens best interests, taking into account all the factors set forth above, as well as any reports of phychological evaluations requested by the Guardian at the hearing herein on Feb. 19th, 2004. The Guardian's requested that the parties each have psychological evaluations; they are each to have such voluntary evaluations as the guardian may arrange, at each party's own expense.
GAL was under the impression that it was ordered by the court. I am still planning on taking the MMPI test. I doubt that the PBFH is going to take it. She will have to drive from Iowa to Alex. MN to take it and pay the $650 for the test. In talking to PBFH, she said she doesn't see why she has to drive and doesn't have the money to take it....right....

I wonder how this will play out in court with just me taking the test?
Doesn't that make another mark against her?

I was told by the GAL that she is going to base custody on this test...but that was before...if the PBFH doesn't take the test what will the GAL do?

I hope I'm not going to dish out another $650 for the GAL to say that my son is better off staying with the PBFH.

Any thoughts???

Minnesota State Forum / court yesterday....long
« on: Feb 21, 2004, 12:32:42 AM »
Well, now that that's behind me I have another hurdle to jump. The court was schedauled for 11 to 3, we ran from 11 to almost 5PM! I represented myself at the hearing.

2 days before, her attoreny served me with a anmended order, they wanted me to attenden parenting classes, make a seperate bedroom and bed for my son, she wanted 3 weeks of my summer visitation and everyother weekend during my summer visitation. Plus they wanted me to not be able to have my son spend the night at any non-relative person.

The judge asked at the hearing if we still wanted to go ahead with the evediatry hearing as the opposing party amended their order and didn't want a hearing now. I said I did want the hearing, her attorney objected to it. But the judge ruled that I had made my motion in a timely matter and made enough evidence in it to hold a hearing based on interfeance and such. So we went ahead with it.

I, the judge and even the GAL caught her in many many lies. When she couldn't lie she would answer a YES or NO question with "I can't remember" or "I'd have to look at my calander" or some other dumb lame excuss.

A few I caught her in was when she moved into her boyfriends homes in St. Cloud...I asked how many bedrooms they had, "2"
I asked there were 2 other guys living there right? "no" (lie)
I asked if my son slept on the couch ever?  "for a few weeks"
Where did you and your boyfriend sleep?  "in a bedroom"
Why did my son sleep on the couch then? "because jerry rented a room from her boyfriend"
I then asked "I just asked you before if anybody else was living with you other than your boyfriend"
At this piont the judge looked back at her and then PBFH said " you asked if 2 guys lived with us, it was just one"
How long did he rent from you? "a couple of months"
And my son sleep on the couch for that time "yes"
Did you watch TV in that room, living room with him on the couch at night. "we had 2 other TV's in the house"
I said did you watch TV in that room at night, YES or NO! "ummmmmm yes"

Another one was later in the day when the GAL got to ask questions. GAL said that my son was tardy alot for school and that was a concern back then and asked how many times he was late. PBFH "6"
I then slid a report I had printed out over to the GAL that showed 12 tardies
GAL then said she was just shown a report that shows double that amount PBFH "I can't recall"
I got that enterned into evidence after a round around with her attorney and the judge.
Another one was when I asked her if she was evered interviewed or taped when she was sexaully abused as a child. Her attoreny objected to the quewstion and the judge overruled and allowed the question.
PBHF " I can't recall it was back in '82...I don't even know if they had video camras then"
ME: But you where interviewed and asked questions about the assult?
PBFH: I can't remeber...I've tried to block it from my memory
ME: So it was that tramatic that you tried to block it from your memory and yet you put my son though it instead of calling me to ask about what had happened?
PBFH: I was just trying to protect him, that was my first priorty all  I was thinking about.
at that point the judge stepped in and aske PBFH what my son told her.
PBFH: that his Dad touched him on his bottom.
Judge: so that is consitant with the Police reports, the taped interview and the CPS conclussion that he had just touched him.
PBFH: I never watched the taped interview
Judge: well, you where given the oppertunity to...if you haven't that is your own falt then. Did he ever say anything else had happened other that his Dad touched him?

Another one that PBFH pulled was when we wher discussing a police call PBFH made on me about the end of the summer visitation. It was about a question of "end of the week" Sat. Or Sunday. The order was writen that I have to have him back by the end of the first week in Augest.
She called the cops on me when she was waiting in Windom on Sat. I told her I would be there Sunday not Sat.
In the court room now...
Me: you called the police on me this summer correct?
PBFH: yes
Me:I told you I would be there Sunday correct?
PBFH: yes
Me: you faxed up a copy of the order to the police department and they came to the same conclussion as Sunday correct?
PBFH: well, yes
Me: you wanted me arrested right?
PBFH: I thought you where in contemt of court.
Judge: Did he tell you he would be bringing him back on Sunday?
PBFH: yes
Judge: you called the police from Windom?
PBFH: no
PBFH: I didn't have the court order with me in Windom and had to drive back home then.
Judge: But he said he would be there in Windom on Sunday?
PBFH: Well, I was confuzed...the order was written poorly and is very confuzing.
Judge: looking down and away rolling eyes....anything else?
 LOL The judge wrote that order herself!!

This type of stuff went on all day long...

not that I did a great job, but I think I prooved my point. At the end The judge told the PBFH that she had allowed the move to Iowa based on party that she was moving to get away from her abusive boyfriend and now she has maintaned contact and even called him many times...
Judge asked the GAL to get on the stand and give a recommendation...
She said she had some concerns before and said she was VERY concerned now and recommended a phyc test on us both.

So now it is ordered that both she and I take a MMPI test.

I just got off the phone with the GAL and she said that the custody will be based on the results of this test.

I have gathered that the judge and the GAL think there may be some emotional problems with the PBFH. The GAl said she was at my home and my Girlfrieds home and said she isn't concerned with the physical envioment at this time...but is more concerned about the emtional envioment of the child. I can't see how they would be concerned about me...I think the PBFH is the one that is in question. But they want a "pyc. picture" of both to make a fair ruling.

This may be the oppertunity for me I've been waiting for. At least I think I'm normal and stable...I'll leave that up to the test to show.

Pray for me and my son....

Minnesota State Forum / update...
« on: Feb 10, 2004, 02:14:10 AM »
I went to get my son in Iowa last weekend. I got an order from the judge allowing this weekend visit, because both police departments in Iowa and MN have dropped and charges against me. The judge must have watched the video of my son and thought nothing of it bad. I was in the court house filing more papers when the judge came up to me and said I can have my weekend visit, then asked me to wait while she typed up her order! :)

I drove to Iowa to get him and went to the school and talked with everybody there. I also signed a paper allowing my son to speak to the therapist at the school if he wants to, the therapist talks to you first before your child. She wasn't there that day but called me Mon. I explained my situatiation and she told me some things that about knocked me over. She said my EX had signed a paper last year to allow him to see the therapist. It seems my son had been telling mom that he wanted to spend more time with me and she wanted him to see the therapist about that.
The therapist said she would never talk a child out of not seeing his parents but she never did see him that year at any time. This year after all the BS my ex again signed the paper. They where to meet at the school to talk, the story goes that the therapist was running about 5 min late and my ex left as she was coming to the school. She then called the therapist and as she told me "laid into me" about this and that, then sent a letter to her the next day. The therapist never said what was in the letter but apparently my ex wasn't happy at her at all. For what? I don't know.
We decided it would be best not to have him see her at this time because we both felt that my son would 'get into trouble' by his mom if she knew I signed the paper and he saw the therapist. I am trying to leave him out of this as much as possible.
I really want the therapist to be at the court date next week, but it a short notice to subpoena her (and would cost a fortune in mileage) so I sent her an affidavit to fill out.
The other option is to have her in a courtroom in Iowa and telephone into the courtroom in MN. Has anyone every tried that before?
I am trying to lay the foundation for a custody change based on her interfering and alienating my son from me. I have a good case I think...just trying to put it together is taking ALOT of time.

one other thing...she said he is terrified of me and doesn't want to see me, while up here we stayed at my GF house and the second night he wanted to go to my house with just me. I didn't want to be alone with him so I said 'no' He refused to go to sleep and put on his jacket and sat in the corner. I am so scared of disciplining him I just called the police to help put him to bed....I know that sounds dumb...but after being accused of 'molesting' your own child and years ago accused of hitting him, I have gotten scared of him that way. W play and have fun and all, but I've gotten to the point after this I am scared of 'touching him' anyway now for fear of being accused again.

any suggestions?

Minnesota State Forum / The waiting game...
« on: Feb 03, 2004, 01:52:54 AM »
I am now waiting to hear from the judge in my case. We had a telephone hearing last Friday and the judge didn't get any info from ex Attorney or CPS in Iowa. Judge ruled that she was going to put off my visitation for one more week to give time to get papers from CPS in Iowa and a report from evlauation of my son.
She said she felt I was being treated unfairly to have to wait another week and if she didn't recieve any reports or did recieve reports and they didn't concern her she would let my visitation go ahead at the end of this week, other wise we would have another hearing if something "bad" was in the report. She ordered my ex not to interfer with my visitation this weekend if I didn't hear back from the court.
Last week I filed several motions including a reversal of custody based on patterned interferance. Those will be heard on the 19th reguardless of the outcome this week.
I am planing on filing several more motions this week to compel telephone records and other info I believe should be heard in court. I'll have to see if I typed them up correctly and the judge allows them. I also plan on filing a motion for custody based on changed circumstances and the best interest of the child.
I belive this is my first real chance at letting the judge hear my side for once and plan on fight to the "death" on this one. I am without an attoreny so far, can't really afford one right now. At least she'll be racking up attorney fees for once.(although I believe her mother is financing this one)
It's going to be a knock down drag out fight at the hearing on the 19th and I plan to come out with both barrels blazing this time to keep them on damage control rather than me, like in the past.
After 9 years of lies she has to choke on a few on the stand this time. I believe she has painted herself in a corner and will look bad no matter what she says now.
I'm praying it will be enough this time....

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