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I have taken the plunge and filed for custody of 10 yr old son and contempt of court against ex.  She will be served Friday right after I pick up son for the weekend.  

I am stressing very bad over what to tell my son, or even if to tell him anything at all. My top priority is HIM, ALWAYS! I do not want him to have to deal with these pressures.  That is the main reason I decided to go through the ridiculous court system again, to try to give him a little relief from her.

OK, I'll try to explain as briefly as possible.  Divorced when son was 5, I got custody.  2 yrs later ex won custody.  Although she used every sick tactic known to mankind, the judged ruled that I was a "fine father and good provider". But because I work for a living, and she & new husband stay home & live off government, son is better off with her instead of in daycare, and I got enlarged visitation.

--Fast forward 3 yrs to today--

Ex has tried relentlessly to erode mine and son's relationship and time together (PAS all the way). I have been silent and done nothing, thinking that it would be less stressful to our son and at least he could have peace of mind while at my house.  As soon as he is returned to her Sunday, she will make him read all the legal paperwork and make sure he understands everything that his Daddy is trying to do to them (that is small stuff for her!).  

I am agonizing about what he will be subjected to between now and the time we actually go to court (about 6 months).  

Should I have a talk with him about this?

If I do, What should I say? Will I be causing the same anxieties in him that his mother does?

If I don't, Will be completely unprepared for his mother's reactions?  And will he have nothing to base his opinions on except the garbage she is feeding him?

Wow! If I'm having such a hard time dealing with this, imagine what it must be like for a 10 yr old!!??  I have got to make the right choices for his sake!

Any help will be greatly appreciated!

I filed (father).

GAL requested the evaluation and judge ordered it to be done.

Evaluation was not completed in time for the 2nd court date due to BM not making and keeping her and son's appointments.

Change of circumstance:  BM moved 4 times in 4 years (4 different school districts), then BM secretly removed child from school and is now homeschooling.  BM arrested and found guilty of disordly conduct against me & my family (at son's church Christmas program).  Smaller issues are not co-operating with court ordered counseling or the visitation schedule; typical alienation tactics; one contempt granted; etc.

Filing date for change of custody and contempt was in AL on 02/04. Court date was set for 07/04. Evaluation was ordered and court was re-scheduled for 01/05. Evaluation was not done, so court was moved to 06/05. As of yesterday, Judge has a scheduling conflict, and the date is now 05/05.

I don't have much confidence that it will happen in May, because BM is notorious for postponning as long as possible.

1) Is there any limits on how many times the court date can be changed?

2) In regards to limits, does it make a difference if the re-scheduling is due to the court processes (as stated above), or if it is due to one of the parties...such as BM having last minute emergencies.

J,

Read the mandatory forum guidelines, the link is at the top of the page.  You may also want to view a few of the other members' posts to get an idea of how it should be done.

Soc will be more likely to respond if you re-do your post in a more condensed form, and have some specific questions.

Just trying to be helpful,
Littlebit

I've paid CS for past 5 yrs based on me making 40K, and BM and husband making zero.

I filed for custody and contempt in February 2004, court date is set for January 2005.  In a deposition, BM said husband is self-employed and has made 30K last two years.

1) Can I ask the courts that I be compensated for past payments?

I have joint custody of 10 yr old son in Alabama, BM has primary residential.  I filed for custody and contempt of court.  Court date is 8-30-04.  Time is important because son is currently not attending school.  

My attny and GAL think there might be enough evidence to go to trial without a custody evaluation.  They, and BM's attny, are meeting with judge 8-25-04 to decide whether or not to postpone court and order an evaluation, or hear the case Monday.

We are scrambling to get some information ready for the judge to view.

Myself, BM and son have been seeing the same psychologist off and on since 2002.

1) What must written statements contain to make them 'valid' to the judge or in court?

2) How much info, or what info, is my psychologist allowed to give to me as evidence?
    a. Appointment dates my son has had?
    b. Appointment dates BM has had?
    c. Appointment dates cancelled?
    d. Who initiated counseling?
    e. Who has paid for the visits?

3) Is it legal to contact BM's prior and /or current landlords and ask questions about her tenancy?

4) Is it legal to take pictures of BM's house (outside) without her permission?

5) Can I obtain records of DHR's investigations of BM

6) Just for curiosity if ya don't mind....Is it customery for the parties to be informed of a meeting between the judge and the attorneys?  

As always, Thanks for your time and knowledge!

Change of custody and contempt hearing scheduled for first of next month in Alabama.  Right now we have joint legal custody with Mom having primary residential custody.

CP has our child (and the other six family members) on public assistance fraudulently.

To save time, we will try to get the records without going thru the court.  

1) Do I have a legal right to view my son's Medicaid records?

2) What about the original application filled out by CP?

My 10 year old son is supposed to be with me for 6 weeks during the summer.  I am trying to decide how to handle the communications to & from BM while he is here.  

Myself and three different psychologists have already tried, with no success, to make her understand the harm she is causing our son.

Every letter and phone call last summer was intended to make son feel bad about being at my house.  And he was noticeably disturbed each time.  Here are some examples of things she says to him in either phone calls or letters:

"I sit in your room & hold your things to try and be close to you while you are gone."  

"I will never give up on having you here with me."

"It makes me cry all the time when you are not here. I know you cry for me too."

"I just knew you would hate it there.  I'll come get you whenever you want me to."

"Just remember everything me and (stepfather) talked to you about.  We will never ever let anything bad happen to you."

"Your family misses you so much."

"(little brother) cries every day asking 'where's xxx'."

"I pray to God every time the phone rings that it is you."

Almost every letter had notes written on the envelope and on the letters in big magic marker:

"Please call me as soon as you read this!"
"Write me a letter right now!"
"Your Daddy won't let my calls come through!"
"I need to know you are safe!"
"I'm counting on you to call me!"

1) Should I restrict or monitor the phone calls and letters from BM to son?  

--There is a custody issue pending in court--

2)Will I look like I'm playing tit-for-tat to spite BM?  

3) Or will the judge realize I'm only trying to protect my child?

LittleBit's Dad

I am doing research for my upcoming change of custody case and came upon a document entitled "Application to file Amicus Curiae Brief".  It is written by a Fathers' Rights Organization and seems to be on behalf of a pending case.

The case seems almost identical to mine, and is being heard by the SAME judge I have.

1)  What is an Amicus Curiae Brief?

I have been employed by the same company for 20 years.  I pay child support diligantly.  I am in Alabama.

I would like to start my own business and have been researching it for a couple of years.  I will have to quit my job to make it successful.  

We will be relying on my wife's income for the first couple of years when the new business will be barely breaking even.  She makes half of my current salary.

1)  Is this an acceptable thing to do in regards to the CS order?

2)  Should we expect the CS amount to stay the same, or change to an amount based on my wife's salary, or change to an amount based on my self-employed income?

Thank You.