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BF has not seen kids in a year and a half.  Refuses all restricted Certified mail from me and refuses to give me any medical insurance information.  I have attempted to obtain myself and company will not release without his permission.

Can't get permission because he refuses all certified mail.  I can not call him or it will start WW3 with his new wife.  I will be attacked and flooded with voicemails for weeks preceeding any phone call made to his home and even then I am not allowed to speak to BF, I must go through SM.

I need to apply for passports for our children because we had difficulty getting the children into Canada, and was told it would be much easier if they had passports.  I don't see him signing off on that whatsoever.

I have a child that require ALOT of medical treatment, and goes to the dr quite a bit for therapies and every so often I get there and the appointment has been cancelled.  Well this last time we were not even in the state whenit was cancelled.  There were no details of the cancellation, but this has happened at least 4 times now.

Today I recieved a 5 minute message from SM about a CS review that was a state generated review and I have the option to say yes or no.  I had nothing to do with it but the message was all about that I woudn't get any more money because they make less .....long message I won't bore you.

In the midst of the message she disclosed that she had seen our oldest child's medical information, and no wonder he has psychological issues..etc. etc.. my fault stuff. But it sounded or was coincidental with the cancelling of the appointments I thought.

My questions:

1. What do I need to prove or under what kind of circumstances would I need to prove existed to obtain BF's 50% Legal custody?

2. For a CS "review"  do they use W2's or pay stubs?  (BF has a new job and most certainly makes substantially more money but his 2005 W2's would not reflect that)

Everything in MN, I skipped around, if you need any clarification let me know.

Thank you!

2.  

Ok.  BM was ordered to pay CS at final divorce proceedings.  Has tried everything imaginable to get out of it and finally succeeded last summer by applying for SSI benefits and after 2 tries qualified.  CS order was then determined to be closed as of the date she had qualified for benefits.

EXCEPT, prior to that date she was not working (well working for cash)and had racked up roughly 1000.00 in arrears.  To this date that is just sitting there doing nothing.  CS agency says there is no enforcement order to collect arrears.  Therefore the case can not close until the arrears are paid up, but until they collect for arrears it will stay open, but they say they can't collect for arrears because there is no order to collect...(did I lose ya yet?)

Now BM is receiving benefits AND working part time, just enough on and off to maintain benefits.

1. Doesn't the CO prior to the one that was just ordered still maintain when there is no mention of dropping the arrears?  It just says case closed as of November XX, 2005 (date of acceptance of SSI).

2. Do we/what do we file to collect arrears to get the case closed?

(we want it to close so then she will reenter the world of employment, and we can reopen in our county, which is a little less po-dunk then the one we are dealing with)

Thanks!

Ps. Everyone in MN

Soc, I hope you can help here.  DH's divorce decree spells out visitation and then in a new paragraph says the following for summer visitation.

"During the summer months when school is not in session (June, July, and August) Respondent shall be entitled to one-half of the summer months as parenting time with the childre.  Respondent is entitled to uninterrupted parenting time witht eh children for two weeks at a time.  Respondent must notify the Petitioner of the summer parening time that she will have the children no later than May 1st of every year.  The parties shall cooperate with eachother in determining the summer schedule."

BM has never given us a schedule for the summer months we always ended up sending her one, and then that was that.  She took her visitation for whatever we set up.

In Jan of 04 a parenting plan was drawn up and the judge signed it.  in 04 we came to an agreement of a summer schedule, and in 05 quite a few drastic things went down between the homes and BM exercised 2 weeks in June and July but not in August due to a TRO.

We questioned this before, and the children were not in any kind of questionable harm when with her until summer of 05.  In the parenting plan it does not spell out summer visitation, it gives for extra time as liberal and frequent for anything she wants them for with prior reasonable notice and to stop by if she is int he neighborhood to go for lunch or dinner or whatever and at the end of that order it says the following:

"This permanent parenting plan shall supercede all before it, and may not be modified and or re-evaluated within 24 months of its original date and approval by the court set forth herein.  When such time has reached these requirements both parties shall seek mediation for any disputes or changes.  At any point in thie this Permanent Parenting Plan may be changed with the consent of both parties and all modifications must be signed and dated by both parties therfore making it a legal document and filing it with the court."

We have always sent a copy of the summer schedule to the court admin for the file.  there id now extremely high conflict between the parties and BM had sent us her mental evaluation for SSI rendering her a 40 out of 100 in mental status and a list of disorders that prevent her from working or completing everyday living duties.  She is also unable to drive because she has a suspended license, which is limited now and has strict restrictions and times when she can legally drive.

DH is very against sending them for two weeks at a time now due to all the things that have been going on...(long list, will elaborate if you need me to)  BM has a free attorney, so avoiding court would be great if it is cut and dried. BM will start WW4 if it is not plain and simple.

 Both children will also end up in summer school this year and there is a clear provision for this and it references their summer vacation, but not her summer parenting time, (exact wording)...

"In the event said children shall be required to attend school during summer vacation, parenting time for respondent shall be set up when said children have completed their educational programs"

Ok our questions now:

1.  Given the wording of our orders, is the summer visitation cancelled out by the new parenting plan?

2. BM has not sent a schedule yet and probably won't, if the above question is yes, do we just carry on with the regular visitation?

3. Does the summer school provision imply that there is summer visitation or that we will set up something when they are done?

4. If we don't send a schedule and we send them for the weekend and she doesn't return them, would it be considered contempt?

4. Going crazy with this, have any good recipes for cocktails?

3.  Anything you have to add....greatly appreciated!

Thank you!!

This is an extremely long story so I will try to get to the point.  Our niece was taken from her parents after a 1 1/2year long battle with drug addicted parents, reunification and then ultimately she was given back to the grandparents.  The parents still have visitation rights and frankly if the father got his crap together he would get her back but it just isn't going to happen.  During the separation she lived with us for awhile for a total of 6 months combined.  She has been residing and was placed with the grandparents in the end.

When everything was up in the air and she was only in temporary placement with the grandparents it was ordered we were allowed one weekend a month.  It went on like that for over a course of 1 1/2 years.  Father got a weekend too, mother was out of the picture because she was in jail.

At the hearing we were told that we were to still get one weekend a month, dad 2 weekends a month and mother gets one supervised visit a month...more when she is clean and sober and can prove it.

Order came, we were not mentioned in any of it.  Grandma ASSURED us we would get the one weekend a month and I had no worries about it.  Well that was 6 months ago.  She will not allow a weekend, heck she won't even allow an hour.  We were ok with it after the hearing so the child could get a routine, get her bearings and I called her religiously everyday to talk to her like nothing had changed.

Grandma will not allow any visitation because frankly she doesn't have to according to the order.  We aren't asking for "regular visitation" for crying out loud but her dad isn't getting that much time either, they always find a way to cut into his weekend somehow, so seeing her on his time is hard.  We would just like to see her for an afternoon here or there, and she became very close with her 4 cousins, but doesn't get to see them anymore.

We are completly annoyed with Grandma, I've even resulted in kissing her behind..... but I just can't do it anymore so here's the questions (Everything was done through CHIPS, but now it has a family court file number, MN):

1. With the above stated facts would we have reasonable cause to seek a visitation order?

2.I hate to go this route but is there any other way to approach this?

Thank you!!

Ok Soc, I will try to be brief, but can't promise it. I need a course of action.


BM is NCP, and been divoced from DH for at least 4 1/2 years now.  BM went on disability, wiping out CS and has recently been diagnosed with the following...(exact text)

Sexually assaulted by her neighbor, while her children were ont he premises.  Very quickly Post Traumatic Stress disorder developed: instrusive and repeated recollections of the event, recurring nightmares about the event, intense psychological distress and sysiologicla reactivity when exposed to cues that remind her of the event, efforts to avoid cues that remind her of the event, anhedonia, feeling detached from others, initial and middle insomnia, hypervigilance, and difficulty concentrating.

Exeriences repeated panic attacks that significantly interfere with daily activities, such as grocery shopping, going to doctor, and driving her children to school.  These symptoms continue to impair her functioning, although she reports her concentration improving.

Under went testing (MCMI-III) and the following was reported:  Post traumatic stress disorder, Generalized anxiety disorder, Major depressive disorder, recurrent, and anorexia nervosa.

Further testing showed a moderate degree of psychopathology in her personality structure and the following diagnosis were also found: Dependent personality disorder with avoidant features, goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance from others, has acute mental health problems that impair her ability to function in daily activities.  Her global assessment is 40 on a scale of 100 and is extremely reluctant to try medicaiton to help with the symptioms.

This is a long letter so I gave you the low down and skipped the mumbo jumbo of the technical terms.

Now on to what is going on.

BM and I (SM) were in an altercation over something very STUPID and it resulted in both of us being charged and convicted of disorderly conduct and we have basic HRO's for a year on both of us with 8 months left.  Fine no problem, lets move on with it.  She is still stuck on the incident like it happened yesterday.  

Bm is inflicting extreme emotional abuse on her children when they go to visit.  She  is video taping them (with scripts) with things they must say bad about me and DH.  She has made them write letters totally full of lies, that she makes them write and threatens them to do so or else.

Lack of food while on their visits, no showers, and the latest writing aletter to DH that his homework expectations were too high, and writing the teacher blasting me which had such an underlying vindictive tone to the letter, the teacher gave us a copy to give to therapist and said she would not be responding to a letter that was pitting her against a parent.

There is no signs of physical abuse, and CPS has said she has doen nothing to the children....that I can prove...

CO says children must come with all items that they arrived with, she has a thing about their cellphone and has dropped it off at the Sheriff's office because it annoys her.  I must drive an hour each way to pick it up, they won't mail it.  Have no other means of telephone contact other than the cellphone we provide for daily phone contact, if we call her cellphone she reports me as calling it and harassing her. Even when the kids have the phone she shuts it off and will not let them speak on it nor can we call it becasue it is off.

Anyways that is just the tip but the most recent irritations that have occured.

Since the HRO's were put in place I have had 1 call a week from some form of an officer in the tri-county area saying i have violated the restraining order.

This week it is Child protection wanting to inspect my home, which by the way had a vague discription of our basement, that you could tell the person reporting had never been in the home, if there was truly a danger the person reporting would have actually known the layout of the home.  We are going ahead with the inspection.

Children are going to be on their second appointment for counseling.  Children are emotionally distraught when they come home from her house, depressed, tired and starving and it is affecting their school work.

We have an attorney that has taken one arm and both my legs now, and soon my other arm when I get done paying him.

BM has a "free" attorney whenever she needs help.  Meaning when something is filed, she is her attorney, otherwise says she is not representing her.????

Now to my questions:

1.  At what point would you file for supervised visits?  

2. Is there anything I can file to get her to stop harassing me with a harassment order?  Or harassment in general?

3. Cellphone issues, any ideas on how to combat that?  She is keeping the childrens property and handing it over to the Sheriff's dept, plus denying ALL phone contact while in her care.

4. Any good meds you can recommend for me before I lose it?

Got a call from child protection today, they would like to inspect our home.  There was a report that there is no fire escape and exposed wires in our home.  BM was the reporting party as we get one call a week from the Sheriff's department.  I am very sick and tired of this weekly event.

DH is CP.

1.  Do I have to let child protection inspect my home?

At the end of September BM made a false report to the police about me (SM).  The police believed her and shortly after a warrant was issued for my arrest.  The complaint was regarding property and a HRO.

When trying to retrieve the property through the Sheriff's dept. the actual Sheriff who took the report questioned me on why he was now giving me the property he had just taken a report on a few days prior.  I told him that is was indeed my property and that the BM lied that is why the other Sheriff had to retrieve it.  He told me I could not come down there because of the report that he did and there was a warrant out for my arrest and according to the rules he would have had to arrest me.  He instructed me to stay home and he would clear it up in the morning.

So fast forward.  Got the property and the Sheriff then took MY report that the BM gave a false statement and he even reinterviewed her and he blantantly caught her lieing. The Sheriff told me that he caught her and that she definately made a false report and he followed it up with paperwork and proof that the property was mine to the prosecutors office.

I learned yesterday that the prosecutor DECLINED to press charges on her for making a false police report.  There is ultimately no hint of doubt that she did file a false claim and the Sheriff is completely in agreement.

The proscuter's assistant made the decision.

1.I was scheduled to be arrested...Can they really just decline a false report?  

2.Who's desk do I need to stand on or write to, to get them to follow the
law?

I have a theory on WHY they won't charge her but I will fill you in on that later.

Thanks Soc!

DH has custody.  He gets younger child for deductions and BM gets older child.  BM hasn't worked for I don't know how long and does not file taxes.  We learned that BM's boyfriend claimed the oldest on his taxes.  They do not live together and both children live with DH full time.

Court orders do not specifically asy that if BM is in CS arrears that DH will get deduction so we never did anything about it until she stopped really working and got CS stopped too.  Now we would liek the tax deduction.

1. Boyfriend can't claim that child as a deduction, they have children together but the two don't live together and the child in question does not live there either...can he?

2. If no, what do we do to expose what they are doing?

3. Can DH file an amended return since BM obviously didn't take the deduction and gave it to her boyfriend?

A couple of weeks ago, BM attacked me (SM) and both of us were charged and both of us obtained TRO's against the other. (both have attorneys) Everyone in MN; DH retains custody/50 legal.

At the hearing for the TRO it was agreed upon (outside of court) that BM would provide documentation from BM's therapist/psychologist to show that she was mentally capable to take care of the children while in her care since her recent outburst and a report written last Feb 04 that was given to us in June of 05 which had to say the least very "disturbing" multiple diagnosis'.

In these diagnosis it said very boldly (and to shorten it up) that she was unable to drive her children to school without panick attacks, unable to function in a work environment even with simple tasks, and she is unable to cope with daily living skills.  Since being provided all of this information it has been a nightmare.

Well the letter came today and the pschologist had no problems with her being around children even though she is aware of this recent event and is being charged, she still has no reservations about her being around the children unsupervised.  

There are so many little things that I could go into but simply do not want to bog you down with them. (Will provide if needed)

This doctor has not seen her or treated her since March of 05.

1.  Is there anything else we can ask for?

2. We asked for a "recent" collaboration of a medical diagnosis.  She hasn't seen her since March and quite a bit has happened since then, is it reasonable to ask at the next hearing for psychological testing for a more recent diagnosis?

3. Are we just up the river with this and must go on until she hurts one of them?? :)

As always thank you!!

Hi Soc:

Background info:

BM/NCP came to pick up for second half of summer vacation.  We had purchased a cell phone for the children to take along so we could speak to them as well as they would have access to call 911 in case of an emergency.  BM in habit of leaving kids alone and she has no phone.  Kids instructed to call for help if left alone.

BM sent child back to the door with the phone and would not allow it, even though she wrote an email thanking us for getting them one for her to also communicate with them.

I told her she could wait for DH and she could discuss it with him and I went to shut the door.  She shoved open the door and pushed me down a flight of stairs.  She went totally crazy and long story short we now have a TRO on her and are due in court next week for it.

In late June we were provided (voluntarily) a psych eval she had done on herself and is trying to collect SSI due to the results and get out of child support.  We have NEVER had an incident like the one I just described with her EVER. As far as we knew she was just evil but has some serious diagnosis.

I have been out of work since the accident and I have multipy injuries due to the fall, to my knowledge she has very minor to no injuries because I fought back.

We are both being charged for assault even though she broke into my home and induced bodily harm.

My questions are:

1.  At the TRO hearing what should I ask for to keep it from being dismissed?  We already know she has a mental health history, anything we can ask for to get concrete evidence that she is not fit to have children around her?

Any further help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!

Thank you

Soc,

We are at our wits end here. ( the story is so long it is exhausting) in oct. father admitted to me that his wife does not give our handicapped child all of his meds on their visits becasue she thinks they are too high of a dosage.  SM is bipolar and a few of our child's meds are the same as hers so she is comparing apples to oranges.

Since then we have been in an ugly visitation battle due to her illness and supervision of the children or lack there of.  Also he is saying he never told me those things and is saying I made it all up.

I was recently accused of child abuse of our child but it was dropped in which the investigator said it clearly had custody written all over it.  

I KNOW that BF and SM are not giving our child his recommended doses on their visits but the only proof I have is when he comes back he is so out of it it takes us all week to get him back to normal.  Teachers are on the border that he is acting strange but not too bad to cause concern.

1. How on earth do I prove that BF isn't giving the medication to our son?

2. Do you know of any case laws or cases you have heard of about special needs children or handicapped children that you could give me that would protect him?  He is a vulnerable child, he is unable to tell us if he gets his meds or not or if anyone hurt him.  PLEASE HELP!!

Hi Soc!

I just received a recommendation from the GAL and an order adopting her recommendation (without a hearing, parties lawyers had a conference call), judge signed away.

In short the order is insane and resembles parenting time like none I have ever seen before.  I am the CP and dad is the NCP.  the issues I had were with his new wife *sigh*  she has a lengthy mental health issue all of which is proven and documented as well as an insane amount of police reports to back it up, but the GAL didn't see anything wrong with the children being around her alone even though she has tried to end her life several times.

The new order presented to me this week has horrible pick ups and drop off times, of which I am unable to accomodate. NCP says there is nothing you can do about it, it is court ordered.  The GAL asked what the NCP what the old schedule was, he lied and and said what he wanted it to be and whaaala...new schedule.

We are also very involved with our church, ( we have been in a custody mod holding pattern since Sept. and in that time NCP chose NOT to see the children until the judge ruled in his favor....GAL saw nothing wrong with that either) In that 8 months stretch we went on with life without him.

Now my questions:

1. If I am unable to accommodate the new parenting time drop offs and pick ups, what do I do?  I have asked the NCP to modify them on our own, but he won't.  My lawyer obviously does not advise me to be in contempt of the order.

2. Old schedule was EOW and now it is EOW and Every Sunday.  How can I get my full weekends back with the children especially their right to partake in religous activities with us because NCP does not participate in any religious activities?

3. There are no safety nets in place in case there is more incidents at the NCP house during visitations, although the GAL did an investigation, of which she did a very minimal, (at best) job at looking into anything.  I swear she spent approx. 5 hours on the case. If I am truly scared for the well being of the children's safety,(while in the SM care, not NCP) even though there is an order in place, do I have send the children?

4.  Can I refuse to send them until he gives me some kind of reassurance or a First right of refusal or a stipulation that they will never be left alone with her for any amount of time??  

5. Have you ever heard of that being done in the instance of a SM being the one that is the detriment not the NCP?

Please Please Please I hope you can help, I am running out of time, money and I am going to pull every last strand of hair out soon!!

Thank you in advance!!!!!!

Ok, I am the BM of 2 and a SM of 2, CP's of all of them.

Last week I went to court for a TRO that I filed on Stepmom for serious threats of killing me and our children and herself. She was taken into custody prior to the TRO that I filed for trying to kill herself and BioFather had put a OFP on her as well.

He later dropped it after 7 whole days of being on the psch floor, she was suddenly cured. Found out SM is diagnosed bi-polar and goes off her meds quite often, and this is a regular thing for her to do. First time threatening me but not the first time of interference with BF's time. We have all only known her for little under a year. She admitted she concealed her illness.

Ok, went to court for the TRO. (representing myself) I was broadsided with an attorney hired for both of them. He presented me with a nice agreement that had to deal with BF visitation rights. (I want to make it very clear I am not trying to block him from his children, I just do not feel that she is a very safe person to be around. Dad has open access to his children. ) Ok, so I am presented with a rough draft agreement that goes something like this:

Parenting time expeditor will be assigned and hired by BF.

TRO will be dropped, effective when new agreement is agreed upon and signed by both parties, and a judge.

SM will have no contact with BM at her residence, by phone, mail, at the school, ETC..

SM shall maintain regular counseling sessions and provide written proof to the expeditor that she is going to them weekly.

SM will maintain her medication and provide prescript that she is on them and filling them regularly.

SM shall have supervised visits with the children for an hour at a time at expeditors office until such time expeditor feels she is able to handle them in home dwelling with BF.

BF shall get his computer up and running and both parties shall purchase access to family wizard and all communication be through that and email.

There were a few other little things, but I can't remember them. Everything was written on a legal pad and read off to me.

Judge swore me in and asked if I agreed to such an agreement and I said I would agree to move this to family court, I stated to the court this has nothing to do with blocking visitation, and that I wanted the TRO in effect until an agreement was actually agreed upon, and the judge said "and signed by a judge". I said absolutley.

1. I do not have to agree to the supervised visits do I??  

2. Parenting time expeditor is not a mental health professional and can not make that kind of determination can he?

3. I have no idea what to do to keep the children safe from her.  The TRO is effective until we come to an agreement, any suggestions?

Help! Drawing a blank on what to do here and mental health is not my specialty.

Thank you Soc!

Ok Soc, I have filed a TRO on the children's SM (bipolar off meds), as she tried to committ suicide and wants me dead as well as our children becasue we are her main target when she is in her manic state. I have a court date at the end of the month.

It says in the petition that the respondent must show why this TRO should be lifted.

I spoke with the BF today and he kept asking me "what I was trying to accomplish" and "how much time needed to pass before I felt safe again before the children could come back there..with her there". I told him that I do not feel safe, and I do not feel comfortable with that whole situation, and I am going to ensure that nothing will ever happen, and nothing in our visitation arrangement has changed.  He can see the kids as long as she is not present.

He is the one that told me to be afraid of her in the first place and told me all the things she had been doing and then I have my string of messages from her to me about death and just rantings and ravings.  He simply thinks now that she is on her meds everything is hunky dorey..I do not feel that way.

1. What can I do to better prepare myself for this court hearing so it will not be lifted?

2. I have the phone messages and even our conversation from today recorded..(no call from this house goes unrecorded) Should I transcribe them and bring them or will the recordings be enough?

3. He is not a party to the action, so he can't bring up any visitation arrangement in this court, he would have to file something with family court correct?

Thank you!!!!!!

Hi Soc, need some help here:

Little background...BF married a woman off the internet and all was well until about 6 months ago.  She would have altercations with me over the dumbest things and then BF would not be allowed at home, or allowed to pick up the kids etc.. Fast forward

We have had 3 major fights involving parenting time, which could have been easily resolved if she would just stop calling or talking to me and let the BF  have his visitation like usual.  Anyway last Thursday was it.  I had found out that he had been living in his car for a week because they had a fight about me and the kids..mainly me( I know what you are thinking..I must be a PBFH..absolutely not the case here).  I had no knowledge of the fighting or had I any contact to make it happen..

Thursday SM decided to call repeatedly and leave me every kind of message she could everything to calling me names to she was going to kill herself..at that point BF had retreated to a friends house and then put an OFP on himself and our kids because we are her target.

Now all is well only 7 whole days later.  Turns out she is bipolar and went off her meds for about 11 months or so and that would explain all of the problems we were having and the very strange fights we would get in to and of course the messages.  BF has now lifted the OFP and SM is coming back home tomorrow.  Just because he feels safe, I certainly feel the opposite. He has only known her for about a little under a year and in that time they have gotten married AND had a baby..
My questions:

1. Do I file an OFP on me and the children?  She targets me everytime she hits her manic state and wants me dead and this last time she was very serious.

2. Knowing what I know now, by doing this, this is obviously going to effect his visitation and his family, do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to facilitate vistitation WITHOUT her around?


Anything you can help with is greatly appreciated, I feel like crap doing this to the kids and their dad but I don't know how else to protect them.

Hi Soc:

We recently went to court for a change of venue to get away from our crazy judge.  Neither of the parties lives in the original county that the parties were divorced in.  First DH ex did not show up for the hearing, but her attorney did.  We all came to an agreement in the hallway and that was that, we were happy with the situation.

The court clerk came out and said the judge was ready.  We both told her that we are in agreement and we did not need to go in, but she insisted that the judge would want something on record.  So whatever, we went in to tell him that we agreed to the change and that was that.

Well the opposing attorney went first and started to tell the judge that we were in agreement your honor and that her client was not present for whatever excuse, and he piped in and said, who filed the motion?  Sit down and let him proceed.  My DH stood up and said that they were in agreement and sorry to take up the courts time, we were having a miscommunication problem.

The judge flipped out, he said I will grant your first motion but I am denying your motion for a change of venue.  Life isn't that easy Mr. XXX.  Your dismissed.

We all walked out of there in complete shock, even opposing counsel was fine with it for once and her head was spinning, and the county representative was in shock as well.

1.  If the parties submitt a stipulated agreement for the judge to sign to make it legal, how can he deny it?

2. If we put in a motion to reconsider, will it go to the same judge?(We do have the fact that the other side never showed up)

3. If we want to write up a stipulated agreement and submit it to the court can we have another judge sign it?

4. Do we even need a judge to sign it?

Any help on this one would be great. It is not the end of the world that it not be moved, but it sure would be less stressful to guess his moods on court day.

We had a recent court appearance , but never made it in front of the judge.  Neither party wanted to see the outcome of that, so they worked it all out in a conference room.

We are pro-se and NCP/BM has a lawyer.  We were asking for medical expenses which she never denied throughout the whole thing that she owed it as well as insurance reinbursement.  The county and the lawyer determined the expenses were a wash from what she owed us to what we owed her and the following is what resulted.

In the final order that her lawyer has drawn up it says the following:

A. Petitioner's request for medical insurance reinbursement is denied.

B.Petitioner's request for  medical expense reinbursement is "withdrawn".

My question is with the "withdrawn" wording of that statement.

1. Does that mean we can ask for it again because it was withdrawn?  

2. Why wouldn't she put "denied"  instead of "withdrawn", have I found a loophole in her lawyer's wording of the order?

Thanks Soc!

We are scheduled for a motion hearing for child support enforcement, on the 18th.  It was first heard in front of a magistrate, but there was a technical difficulty and they needed to reschedule it.

Now we are scheduled to go in front of our original judge, who is not that friendly and who knows how he will rule on this.  It is strange to us that this is being heard in front of a district court judge instead of the magistrate.

The motion is  being heard in a county that neither party resides in anymore.  We are the custodial parents and have not lived there for over 2 years and now the ncp has not lived there since June of this year.

1. Is it possible to put in for a motion for a change of venue BEFORE the new hearing?

2. Do I have to wait until the motion is heard in front of the judge to ask for a change of venue?

3. Can I just tell County A that we want to move our case from County B and let them do what they need to do and then withdraw or motion for it in County A?

Sorry if this is confusing...Thanks for anything you can give me.

Ok, I have a medically challenged child.  He is mentally handicapped and mildly physically handicapped.

His Dad is AWOL, and refuses to speak to me about much of anything unless I go through his new wife instead.  Won't happen so therefore we do not speak.

Our child has a rare chromosomal disorder in which roughly only 600 kids in the world have been medically diagnosed.  We have been offered a place in a genetics study that will not only map out our child's future road but what could possibly pop up on his future road.  Noone knows what could happen but the study would give us quite a few roads to pick from at least.

Not only will this help our child it will be published in a medical journal and will ultimately help the entire population as there is nothing on record of any substantial help for any of us.  Needless to say this study is important.

To my questiona now.  Sent a letter to Dad and actually send two, first one was sent Restricted Certified and they let SM pick it up!  Sent a second one Restricted Certified and explained why and BF did pick it up, but sent a letter back that he shares all information with his wife and duplicate materials were not necessary.  He also requested to actually speak to the Dr conducting the study.  Buwhahahaha.  I really don't think the Professor of Peds at the University is going to sit and talk to him since I couldn't get near him at a National conference.  But hey, I will give you the information.

I had the Dr's office that was taking the information down to GIVE to the Professors study give him a call.

Guess who he got to speak with..Yeah SM took the message and told them that he would likely submit to the bloodwork crutial for submission for the study to map out the genetics of the disorder.

That was a month ago and I have called the Dr's office once a week to see if he has given the bloodwork.  They have called 3 times too.

Now I am on a time crunch to get this in and I have no idea what to do.  I had asked the fake SOC what to do a while back if he wouldn't comply and he said it was an infringment of his civil rights...blah blah blah.

Anyway does anyone know what I could file to compel him to submit to the bloodwork needed to help our child?  This is not life or death like a kidney transplant or anything but the opportunities from the outcome of this study could change his whole way of life.

I am 98% sure once I file something he will go take it so he knows I'm serious, but what the hell do I file this under???  We are in MN.

Thanks to anyone that can help me.

Do you happen to know what the Iowa law states regarding at what age you can leave a child alone and for how long?  And what age they consider old enough to babysit?

Any Iowans that know..please chime in.  Thanks!

Any news?  Did you try my covert operation tactics?  Update us!!!  :)

I am in need of a little assistance.  Does anyone have a family member out there that has bipolar disorder?

We just found out that my children's step mom has bipolar disorder.  She kept it a secret for various reasons and just went through a manic state and tried to commit suicide and threatened all of our lives. Mainly mine and the children's.

I understand that it really isn't her talking but now I am in a tight spot for the sake of our children.  Their Biodad is still in shock of this whole ordeal and they recently just had a baby.

She was committed on Thursday unvoluntarily and they have not yet released her.  What do I do now?  The kids can not stop seeing their dad, that is not an option, but what do I do?  I need to make sure they are safe during his visits and so on.  I do not feel comfortable leaving them alone with her since she does have serious thoughts of hurting them.

I have just started reading up on this disease and it is very serious.  He thought about leaving her but I told him I didn't expect him to, it is his wife!  It is a disease just like anything else, I told him I didn't expect him to leave her if she had cancer!?

I may just be jumping the gun here, and everything may turn out ok.  I just don't know how to handle this new fork in the road.?

ANY help is appreciated!

Thanks!

After roughly 6 years of little to NO support,  BM's arrears have been PAID in FULL!!!  YEEEEEHAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

To some of you, this sounds crazy, to me, this is a grand grand day!!

We have had to deal with Poe-dunk, ride your horse to work, in the back 40 Child Support agency.......and now...... it is C-L-O-S-E-D!!!!!

                **** DOING THE HAPPY RIVER DANCE****

Ok, the reason I am so dang happy?  Now we can open it in our county!  We tried to change jurisdiction 4-5 years ago because none of us lived in that county and were never going to return so we thought is should be where the kids were.  Well someone pissed in the judge's wheaties that morning because ALL parties agreed, BM, US, CS worker, DA, heck even the judge's aide, and he said life ain't that easy...sorry, DENIED.

We all sat there with blank stares on our faces...his ruling made no sense.   So she wasn't paying anyway, did it really matter where the arrears accumulated?  Not really.  Then she went on Disability...blah blah blah...another story in itself.

So my friends....I will take this small victory and run through the streets!!  LOL!  WhoooooHOOOOOOOOOO

:)

I am really tired of popping in and seeing the 800 page post.

I do have a question however.  My ex and I are fighting over the tax exemption.  CO says he get the exemption, if he is current.  I sent medical receipts to him in October, gave him a month till end of November.  Submitted to CS to add on to the account (always do this he never wants to pay me directly) they received it on December 29 (stamped).

I call on February 2 they had not added it and was told by my worker that since the new law went into effect on January 1st, that I had to re-do the paperwork and she couldn't tell me that sooner because she was on vacation all of January.

What happened in 2006 and what was passed in 2007 have to do with each other I will never know apparently.  So I re-do, send it in, still the same just different worksheets, and since it was the same, as in 2006 and all the receipts happened in 2006 I took the exemption.

CS gave him a print out and my worker wrote on it saying he didn't owe anything for 2006.  WHAT??  I don't get it.  I have the flippin paper stamped December 29, 2006.

What is going to happen?  Anyone, anyone?  ....Threads are OPEN...

:)

DH was cleaning out his desk yesterday and came across his CS password and pin to look it up on the internet.  Since BM is on disability there is no active CS order.

Previous to her going on disability she was almost 1000.00 in arrears ...with no order to collect as we were told.  Well DH got a new CS worker and apparently loves her job!

DH received 426.00 yesterday!!!!  After 3 years of nothing!..oh wait he does get 26.00 a month from SSA.  I forget about that.

So I went in and looked around on the CS website and she has every red flag available on her except for two...suspending her passport and jail time.  A little birdie told us that she HAD to pay it because they were going to take her license!  Whoo hoooo.

Why we are excited about her paying this off is once she does, it closes in that county.  Once it closes and she gets nice and comfortable in her job (which we know she is working fulltime and receiving benefits) we can file in OUR county.  The county its in now is backwoods and would let you pay with chickens and eggs if they could get away with it.

We went out and spent the money on the kids...it was really fun!

I've heard that even if you cut its head off, its body will live for several WEEKS before it dies.  That is exactly what I am dealing with here with my children's SM!

Ordinarily I have no problems ignoring SM when she acts up, but I must have PMS or something and I want her to suffer, be jailed, be audited from the IRS, get the bird flu, mad cow....for the love of God something!!!!!!

For the past 2 years I have kept a print out of every email she has ever sent me and I have managed to fill...yes fill,  a 3-ring binder.  I have ignored email for the past 2 years, had it blocked, changed my email address,  etc... she keeps on a coming.  Not only is she emailing me, she is emailing me at work.  Not only is she emailing me at work, she is making serious allegations against my husband on my work email, he works for a very big bank and is accusing him of tampering with funds, their accounts etc..none of which he has any access to but if she called and made her threats fruitful, he would be let go most certainly.  To add further fuel to the fire, every time I block her email she opens up a new hotmail or yahoo account so she can get through.

The icing on the cake is she signs BF's name to them.  Sometimes she puts both of them down but mainly she signs his name.  BF does not email me, we both wouldn't piss on eachother if we were on fire so I am fairly confident it is not him.  If he needs to speak to me he calls.

I haven't written her back once..well  sometimes I do the bounce back "you have been blocked" email or if "she" asks a question over and over and over I reply, at my lawyers instruction I will not be conversing with you via email, but it doesn't matter, she just opens another one.

Anyone have any idea what I can do?  I would love a TRO but that will open up a whole new can of worms and except for the emails, BF has left us and the kids alone....which is better for everyone all around.  For those of you that don't know my story, SM is severely bi-polar and that is just the tip of the 4 year bag of fun we have had.  BF chooses his wife over his children and believe me, they would rather it be that way then be around her.


I have had it, I am sick to death of getting these emails at work...if they ever opened and read them I would be embarrassed.  She ahs called my work before and spoke to my HR department about me harrassing them from work before.  But they checked it out before they pulled me aside and found nothing on my phone (recorded) and nothing in my email  "sent" box that demonstrated any harrassment via my work environment.  Well now she is on to my husband because she couldn't get anywhere with me.

I am going to freak out soon....anyone have some words of wisdom?

I am happy that the site is back up!

 I am very proud to say that two more children have won, and today I recieved some fantastic news!

A guy that I have been helping for about a year now got the best Christmas wish ever this morning!

He recieved full physical and full Legal custody of his children TODAY!  Believe me this was an extremely long hard road and against all odds, he and his children will never be apart again!

He was never married, children moved from the state, etc etc..lots of negatives in his corner, but he did it!  The kids are here right now and they are ecstatic that they do not have to return!

So thank you everyone for all your postings, although I know I have never posted his situation, I could not have ever helped him without this site and all the wonderful people on it!

Thank you Thank you!

Merry Christmas!

Sunshine1  ;)

.

Ok, I was adament that Halloween wasn't a holiday, and spent around 10,000 in court, personal time, and mediation which we ultimatley surrendered Halloween as a bargaining chip to be put into the Parenting Plan.

BM has had one Halloween so far but it had happened to fall on her regular middle of the week 3 hour visit that year.  This year would again be hers and not on her day so it is from 5-8 since there is school tomorrow.

CANCELLED!!!   She said it wasn't fair for her "other" children to have to ride in the car for an hour TOTAL.  Half hour at pick up and half hour for drop off.  It is no different from any other middle of the week visit she gets!!!!!

I am sooooo pissed right now.  Not that they get to stay with us..more fun for me and them, but that she is just an idiot to just throw them in the trash because it isn't convienient enough for her that day to spend it with them.  I don't know why this irks me so bad.  Can someone tell me WHY?  I am overjoyed they are staying with us.  Halloween is a big event at our house, so that isn't it.  

Thanks for the VENT!!  Grrrrr.  Whats everyone going to be?  

We have

1 ghost
1 cowboy
1 batman
1 jason gory looking guy

Mom is a vampire
Dad is the chauffuer

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!~!