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Thanks to you both for the heartfelt responses; you give me hope and makes me feel not so alone..

As for the schools..older son's school is not much help at all. They did say he could leave self-addressed stamped envelopes for the teachers, but they are under the (I believe mistaken) impression that it is their job to enforce the court order, and that dad is only allowed to have the children from school on his specified days. He is last on the emergency card, and mom has left specific directions that children are not to be released to him unless it is during his parenting time. But the same rules don't apply to her. she can pick up/take children from school early whenever she pleases.

Dad went to younger son's open house tonight..son showed up in soccer uniform and dad had no knowledge of son being signed up for soccer..mom said it's not your parenting time so it's none of your business. This is once again contrary to court order, to my understanding.

BM was ordered to give dad a copy of her work schedule every 6 weeks OR when she receives it. She stated flat out the day after court that she will not give him copies, and that he can just take her word for it. No idea where she works..she was ordered to file income and expense dec. but never did. She told dad last week she would give him her home address, but never did, even upon repeated requests, she didn't respond to messages.

At first she told court she worked Wednesdays and every weekend and that she could not change schedule. Later\, she told court she was dropping down to 1 day week. Then she told dad she would be working weekends when it was his time, but no idea which is actually true.

Do not trust giving older son a cell, since everything we have bought/given him thus far has been confiscated/ "lost"..including clothes, ipod etc...

The boys recently had their first sleepover..both boys (13 and 9) are still wearing pull-ups and wetting the bed, though we refuse to put pullups on them, younger son wet the bed. Younger son said that mom told him not to do his homework at dad's house; we believe this is to make dad look bad and to get his Wednesday nights taken away..she went so far as to tell the boys that our daughter is not their real sister and referred to her as the devil's baby; younger son repeatedly called her this during several visitations.. it's amost unbelievable.

Another Q... Mom has Dad 5th on the school emergency card, next to his name she wrote, " Dad not allowed to pick up children except on his specified visitation days.",, or something to that effect. In other words if the children are ill, or if she has work and he has to pick them up, the school will not allow him to do so. I don't think that's correct, is it?

Hello, I am the stepmother of two wonderful boys, ages 13 and 9. Dad and I also have a 13 mo. old daughter together. Dad has had no luck with the court for the past several years, until a new commissioner that was hearing for support saw something was not right and appointed herself to the case.

Following a court ordered evaluation, dad was given joint physical/legal, with every Wednesday overnight as well as 1st, 3rd, 5th weekends and right of first refusal, which is what he was asking for. Before this, dad had minimal contact with the boys, a few hours a week, with mom breaking the previous order on a continual basis and over litigating/filing false tro's and restraining orders every few months. The evaluator came down very hard on mom in her report. She stated that mom was in fact alienating the children, and mom was ordered to attend individual counseling min. 25 sessions. Mom's new boyfriend of a few months is ordered/not allowed to babysit the children at all due to children's statements to the evaluator about his badmouthing dad and verbally abusing the older child. At the hearing,mom stated she will be cutting her hours to 1 day/ week in order to keep dad from having the 3 days overnight when she would be at work.

Hours after the hearing, older boy contacted dad via email, telling dad to get online and talk. Dad told him he tried to call, but no answer. (BM only gives dad a cell #, and they have recently moved from grandma's home into an apartment with the new boyfriend). Older son told his dad,mom's not answering because she's at work. Dad asked where he was, he said at home with Dave (mom's bf). He asked where his brother was, and older boy said he was in his room. Dad called bm cell and left a message about her being at work and violating the court order. Dad also called police, but police couldn't do anything due to bm refusing to provide dad with her new address. About 20 min. later, son disappeared offline and never returned. A few hours later, dad received many text messages from mom, saying she wasn't at work, calling him a liar, and calling her son a liar. Son had no reason to lie, since he had no knowledge of the new order, or that mom was breaking it. Older son is now kicked off the computer for telling on mom, even though he has no idea why. Dad has no way to communicate with boys between visits. BM either doesn't answer or puts the boys on speaker and then complains the whole 2 minutes she allows them to talk that he is interfering with her time.

BM mom refuses to give dad copy of her work schedule when she receives it,  as ordered. She says her word should be good enough, and also that it is a violation of HIPAA law for the court to order her to give him a copy. The purpose of her giving him a copy, is because she cannot be trusted to be honest. She is very angry about the new order, and stated in several messages that the commissioner is not a real judge, and she never agreed for her to her the case. She doesn't feel she should have to follow the order. BM also refuses to give dad her new address, home #; he doesn't even know where she works.

My question I guess, is where do we go from here.? File for contempt, even though we were just in court a week ago?