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Where do we need to do to get a shared parenting order in different States?
First of all, be aware that only one State has jurisdiction. That's where you'll need the attorney to be.
You and the other parent should try to collaborate on a parenting plan. If you can come to agreement on the parenting plan, you can both sign an agreed order and then ask a judge to sign it. Unless there is something terribly wrong with the agreed order, most judges will sign it.
My ex is trying to take our child out of the country. How can I prevent this?
Call the Passport Services Office of Policy and Advisory Services at 1-202-955-0232 for information on preventing your ex from leaving the country with the child. This is what they will tell you:
Send a written request that the children be placed on a name check system. Send children's names, dates and places of birth, plus Social Security Numbers (if you have them), and any other pertinent information (like a physical description), along with your name, address, and a phone number where you can be reached, to Passport Services.
Make sure you sign the request. You can FAX the request letter to 1-202-955-0230.
More information on this topic is available here: Preventing International Move-Aways.
I'm the non-custodial parent. Do I have to get the custodial parent's permission before cutting my daughter's hair, or letting her pierce her ears?
Strictly speaking, if it isn't in your divorce decree, then no, you don't have to get permission.
Having said that, be prepared to have these kinds of things cause major friction and trouble if you and your ex can't come to some sort of agreement on relatively minor items like haircuts.
Small disputes over things like this often escalate to more serious conflicts, which in turn lead to even more serious conflicts, and so on.
Our advice? Pick your battles wisely. Unless this is genuinely important to you AND the child, ignore it.
Does the non-custodial parent have the right to be involved in the decision-making as to the education of his/her children, especially as regards homeschooling?
This depends on how your divorce decree and/or parenting plan is written. If you have 'joint decision making' written into the parenting plan then you do have some input as to whether or not the child is home schooled.
Be aware that even with joint decision making in the parenting plan, the custodial parent's wishes will often prevail in court unless you can present compelling reasons as to why the child shouldn't be home schooled.
In short, if you don't have 'joint decision making' specified in the parenting plan and you are not the custodial parent, then you may not have any legal authority to determine the child's educational environment. You are, however, still entitled to complete access to your child's school records, unless specifically disallowed in the parenting plan.
Also see: Getting Access To Your Child's Report Cards And School Records
My ex is trying to get her new husband to adopt my children. I don't want to lose my kids. Can she do this against my will?
Generally, no, but it depends in part on whether paternity has been established.
Do you currently have a court order? Do you have any papers of any sort acknowledging that you're the paternal father? If not, you must establish paternity as soon as possible. Have your attorney petition the court for a paternity test. At the same time, inform the court that you do not wish to have your paternal rights terminated.
If you do have a court order acknowledging that you're the paternal father, there is little she can legally do to allow her new husband to adopt your children. You and your attorney should assert in court that you do not wish to have your paternal rights terminated. Ask for attorney's fees, since she is the moving party.