Proof of Deceit

[notnew]

Well, if you have faith in your attorney's advice (which he/she is right about the GAL being required to disclose if the information comes from an attorney), then you must go with what you feel is best.

We'll be praying for you and your children.

Let us know how it comes out.

[mistoffolees]

There's no right answer, but just make sure you understand the risk both ways.

While the GAL has no obligation to disclose the information if you are the one to tell him, I'd make sure that he can't disclose it if you ask for it to be in confidence.

The other side is that the longer the status quo goes on, the more likely the judge is to allow it to continue. Who has custody on a temporary basis? If she has temporary custody and if the trial is scheduled far into the future, that argues for telling the GAL.

Also, you didn't mention drug abuse and sexual abuse in your earlier message. In my view, that changes things immensely. If you have strong evidence (actually, I'd be more interested in whether your attorney considers it to be strong evidence because parents tend to be biased), then I would say that you need to disclose it to the GAL in order to get immediate action. If the evidence is strong enough, you should let child protective services know - either directly or anonymously (consult your lawyer).

One other thing to consider is that if you DON'T tell the GAL and he learns about it only at trial, is he going to consider you to be dishonest? If it were simply a matter of evidence of perjury, I think you'd be OK. But if you have evidence of sexual abuse and drug use and don't tell the GAL, I suspect you'd make him very angry and he might well consider you to not have the kid(s)' best interests at heart.

Again, I'd stick with your attorney's advice. If he's telling you it's OK to let it slip to the GAL, then I'd do so. Furthermore, I would make sure you and your attorney are completely on the same page with the sexual abuse and drug use. If you can prove it, that's your neutron bomb - not the witness tampering. If you can't prove it, they can turn it around to make it look like you're making false accusations. No one here can guide you since we don't have the facts, but it sounds like your attorney's on top of it.

Finally, be very, very careful with the way you phrase things. For example, you state "I think I can spin this information....". First, you never know if your stbx could find out that was from you. Second, a comment like that could slip out in court. You don't want to even think about spinning information with a GAL. You want to make simple, clear, factual statements and no need to spin anything- particularly since you're accusing the other side of distortions. If the facts are as you say, you should come out OK, so don't worry about spinning things. Focus on telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - even where it can reflect negatively on you.

Good luck.

[gemini3]

As I'm reading the posts I keep thinking that the GAL is concerned with the best interests of the CHILD.  For that reason, I don't think you should share it with the GAL.  I think you should sit on it until you get to court.  The reason is that, while her lawyer is slimey and deserves to be reprimanded as does she for lying and perjuring herself, it affects YOU - not the kids.  As hard as it is to swallow, I am finding that there's a huge difference between the two.  A person can treat you like the lowest piece of you know what and cause you a multitude of problems, but unless it's harming the children no one cares.  How did her actions affect the children?  They didn't, they affected you.  That's why it needs to wait until court.  

Bringing it out in court could negate all of her testimony, and the information she gave to the GAL because she will be shown as dishonest and someone who's willing to break the law in order to promote her own agenda.  After that the judge probably won't believe much of anything she says or told the GAL.  If you let it out before then you give the opposition time to run interference, and they will.  

My opinion is to sit on it.  Good luck.

[mistoffolees]

I agreed with you that it was worth holding until the trial UNTIL the OP said that drug use and sexual abuse were involved. To me, that justifies informing the GAL right away.

[gemini3]

Is there information regarding drug use and/or sexual abuse in the declaration?  If not, I don't see how it would help them to inform the GAL now.  

I DO see cause for a pendente lite hearing sighting the safety of the children.  Maybe, then, that's the forum to expose the declaration issues, when she an her attorney attempt to argue the temporary placement of the children?

[mistoffolees]

>Is there information regarding drug use and/or sexual abuse
>in the declaration?  If not, I don't see how it would help
>them to inform the GAL now.  

I think it can be addressed with the GAL whether or not it is in the original declaration. The GAL has a huge amount of flexibility.

>
>I DO see cause for a pendente lite hearing sighting the safety
>of the children.  Maybe, then, that's the forum to expose the
>declaration issues, when she an her attorney attempt to argue
>the temporary placement of the children?

I agree with that. If there's strong evidence that drug use and / or sexual abuse is going on, it should be addressed immediately rather than waiting for the normal GAL process. However, the impression I got was that there's reason to believe that it's going on, but perhaps not enough to win an emergency hearing. I guess it all comes down to how good the evidence is.