Restraining Order?

[catherine]

and having the law (court) tell the person that you can't say things like that about the other parent without recourse.  Sure the judgement was 250 each, but I'm sure it isn't about the money - it's the principle of the matter at hand and the damage that can occur.  In that case that I linked, I bet that if the defendant were to continue  with those actions, the next fine would be much more substantial.  And the plantiffs also got all court costs paid for which could have been a lot.

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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

[mistoffolees]

>and having the law (court) tell the person that you can't say
>things like that about the other parent without recourse.
>Sure the judgement was 250 each, but I'm sure it isn't about
>the money - it's the principle of the matter at hand and the
>damage that can occur.  In that case that I linked, I bet that
>if the defendant were to continue  with those actions, the
>next fine would be much more substantial.  And the plantiffs
>also got all court costs paid for which could have been a
>lot.

Could be. But I'd rather get on with my life than spend all my time worrying about what my ex says about me.

If she's actually causing damage, that's one thing. But you just can't prevent her from saying anything negative about you. If it's not one accusation, it will be another. Most people are smart enough to see through this type of false accusation.

[catherine]

You can't stop them from thinking and saying bad things about you.  However, if they are lying about abuse and brainwashing the child, yes that can cause a lot of relationship problems between the child and the family being falsely accused.

My thinking on this subject is that anyone that hangs around with the PB anyways has two screws loose so anything she says to them is taken with a grain of salt.  Her "friends" most likely only get her twisted version of events and not the real truth behind any matter but c'est la vie.

However, it has been taken up a notch in my sitch with the PB writing a rather crappy novel, trying to pass it off as fictional when it's based on some true life things.... and has tried to publish it with a vanity press.  Of course she blames my DH for everything that has gone wrong in her life and portrays him in a negative light, using the kids as ammunition.  

But that's only one of the issues we are currently facing in court.  I will let you all know the outcome and what the judge has to say about the libel aspect.

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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

[gemini3]

Mist,

Unfortunately, in my case at least, most people aren't smart enough to see through this type of accusation.  Maybe because it wasn't an accusation that I was the one that did it, it's an accusation that someone else did it while the kids were in my care.  People seem to take this at face value.

I know I can't stop her from saying bad things about me.  She says plenty... this one thing I do care about though.  Mostly because I don't want my daughter to suffer emotionally because she grew up believing that she was sexually abused.  I can only imagine the therapy she might end up needing to resolve something like that.  She won't remember, because she was too young at the time the allegation was made.

[lilywhite]

In the first place, I'm having a hard time figuring out whether you are the father of these children or the girlfriend/SO/fiance of the father of these children.  

So, in November of 2006 you wanted to file an order to show cause for contempt against "your wife" because she wouldn't allow you to have time beyond what is mandated in the court order.  And you wanted to do it without any attorney.   Socrateaser said you had no case.

Then later in November you wanted to file suit because your ex-wife was limiting a weekend (which is what your court order says) to 48 hours.  You asked Socrateaser about suing on these grounds.  Socrateaser said that 48 hours is a weekend, so you have no grounds.

Then in early December of 2006 you complain that your ex-wife has started accusing you of making false accusations again, apparently this time of a former girlfriend's son.  

Then in January you ask Socrateaser if you can sue your ex for contempt because she is taking daughter to a therapist without your permission.  Socrateaser said, "You don't have any grounds to complain based on your post."

Then later in January you complain that your ex is teaching your 10-year-old pagan rituals.  

Then in March you want her to be kept from filing so often????  
Then again in March you complain that that you tried to get a therapist but didn't like it when she said that you're living with your fiancé without the benefit of marriage.  And you complain that you don't like the therapist that the ex-wife got for daughter and want her to stop seeing your daughter.  Also in March you file for custody.

In July you're back to complaining about the therapist – apparently you're worried about what the therapist might say.  

In August you want to try to force the mother to get counseling by filing something.  

In October you want to file to get the mother to be forbidden to change school districts – not because she's moving out of your area but because you think the school district they were in is better than the one they will be going to.

Finally, the judge orders you to go to parenting counseling with your ex.  You then cancel the appointment your ex made because you had no input into the therapist AND you schedule your wedding for a time during which the mother has the children.  Of course you want to force her to turn over the children during her time so that they can be at your wedding.

Then in November you want to get a restraining order to keep her from talking about slanderous things.

Do I think you file over and over again.  Yep.  Although I can't tell if you actually filed things each of these times.  Maybe you were just thinking about it.  

[mistoffolees]

Certainly raises some issues.....

[gemini3]

What raises some issues for me is that this poster made the ridiculous assumption that I ran out and filed something every time I asked a question on this board, and went on to take our questions and/or statements out of context and misquoted my wife, myself and soc in an effort to prove they were correct.

While I appreciate the amount of time it must have taken to go back and read all of my posts, I find it somewhat amusing that this person feels that makes them an expert on my situation and what kind of people we are.  In the interest of the reader, I try to keep things simple and to the point when I ask a question.  I also don't relish the idea that my ex may be reading my posts and gleaning information from them - so I'm purposely vague about some details.

Like most people here, my wife and I use this forum as a sounding board - to ask questions, and sometimes get support.  Hopefully we're able to help people as well.  I think that's why most people are here.  I'm not sure what this posters intentions were, but I got the distinct feeling that I was being attacked.

[gemini3]

lilywhite, I appreciate the amount of time it must have taken you to go back and read all my posts, so let me clear a few things up for you...

1.  "In the first place, I'm having a hard time figuring out whether you are the father of these children or the girlfriend/SO/fiance of the father of these children."  

My wife and I use the same username.  Before we got married she was my fiance, and before that my girlfriend.  I know that can be confusing.

2.  "So, in November of 2006 you wanted to file an order to show cause for contempt against "your wife" because she wouldn't allow you to have time beyond what is mandated in the court order. And you wanted to do it without any attorney. Socrateaser said you had no case."

Correct, and the reason I had no case was because the visitation was so loosely defined in the order.  This is a mistake that, sadly, a lot of people make, and one that does need to be corrected in family court.

3.  "Then later in November you wanted to file suit because your ex-wife was limiting a weekend (which is what your court order says) to 48 hours. You asked Socrateaser about suing on these grounds. Socrateaser said that 48 hours is a weekend, so you have no grounds."

You are mis-quoting me and Soc... please go back and read my post:
http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=106&topic_id=12689&mesg_id=12691&page=

4.  "Then in early December of 2006 you complain that your ex-wife has started accusing you of making false accusations again, apparently this time of a former girlfriend's son."

Again, you are misquoting me.  My ex never accused me of making false allegations.  She, on the other hand, has made several - this post being about one of those instances.

5.  "Then in January you ask Socrateaser if you can sue your ex for contempt because she is taking daughter to a therapist without your permission. Socrateaser said, "You don't have any grounds to complain based on your post."

You took Soc's post out of context.  He went on to say "However, if there is something specific in your order which requires agreement between parents before therapy for the child, or you have some proof that this therapy is not in the child's best interests, then that may be grounds for a hearing."  I actually did have grounds, and did get the therapist to stop treating my daughter.  The therapist is also now under investigation for 49 counts of insurance fraud, and having her license reviewed for ethical violations.  

6.  "Then later in January you complain that your ex is teaching your 10-year-old pagan rituals."

Yes... and your point is what?

7.  "Then in March you want her to be kept from filing so often????"

I asked if there was anything prohibiting her from filing another support modification - after a 4th hearing in less than two years - all initiated by her.

8.  "Then again in March you complain that that you tried to get a therapist but didn't like it when she said that you're living with your fiancé without the benefit of marriage."

This was a rant, I'm not sure what you're getting at because this is a therapist that my wife and I went to and had nothing to do with my ex or court.

9.  "And you complain that you don't like the therapist that the ex-wife got for daughter and want her to stop seeing your daughter. Also in March you file for custody."

Yes - but this is a continuance of the same issue.  See answer to #5.  And yes, I did file for custody.  

10.  "In July you're back to complaining about the therapist – apparently you're worried about what the therapist might say."  

Same therapist, different post.  What I was worried about was the therapist participating in the alienation of my daughter because she was treating her for unfounded allegations of sexual abuse.

11.  "In August you want to try to force the mother to get counseling by filing something."

Yes, because she has a history of making false accusations.  I believe that she does need extensive individual therapy.  I believe that anyone who makes false allegations and tries to alienate their children from the other parent does.  Maybe you don't agree...

12.  "In October you want to file to get the mother to be forbidden to change school districts – not because she's moving out of your area but because you think the school district they were in is better than the one they will be going to."

You're misquoting me again.  It's because she's in a gifted program which is not available at other schools.  I also don't know if she's moving out of my area or not because she hasn't notified me.  This is will be the 3rd move withot notification, and the 3rd change to the kids schools systems, in 3 years.

13.  "Finally, the judge orders you to go to parenting counseling with your ex. You then cancel the appointment your ex made because you had no input"

Yes, and the order specifically states that we were to agree on a  therapist, yet she did not consult me.  She also made the appointment on my wedding day.  I suppose you think I should have cancelled my wedding to be there?

14.  "AND you schedule your wedding for a time during which the mother has the children. Of course you want to force her to turn over the children during her time so that they can be at your wedding."

This is not true.  It was a day that they were with me, and due to the change in visitation times they would have had to leave in the middle of the wedding to go back to their mothers.  I asked that they be able to stay for the whole wedding.

15.  "Then in November you want to get a restraining order to keep her from talking about slanderous things."

Yes.  Slander is illegal.  False allegations are very damaging.  What's your point?

16.  "Do I think you file over and over again. Yep. Although I can't tell if you actually filed things each of these times. Maybe you were just thinking about it."  

Or maybe I was asking a question to find a solution to a problem I was having.  Thinking that I filed something every time I posted a question is a ridiculous assumption.  Do you think that everyone who posts a question on this board runs down to the courthouse and files something?