Looking for advice...

[richiejay]

I've spoken to my 10 year old already about this, but was looking for anything else I should add.....At my mother-in-laws house he went on the computer to play games....but when they checked later he had gone onto porn sites (boob.com, penis.com, vagina.com, etc)  Curiosity stuff I'm sure but one was EXTREMELY graphic (oral sex), another included some gay men together (not in the act but pretty darn close).  I told him I wasn't angry, but didn't want it to happen again, that if he has questions/curiosity that he should talk to me.  He said he felt embarassed.....do you think I should tell school (to warn other parents)? Or just keep it at that and hope it doesn't happen again?

[DecentDad]

Hi,

I'm not Dr. D, but here's my reaction to this...

I was once a ten year old boy.  I had a friend who had access to his father's Playboys.  We looked at them.  We never got caught.  I turned out to be a normal, heterosexual, caring father.

I think what you describe is a pretty natural thing.  From the names of the websites, it sounds like he was just trying to find some good stuff to take a look at.

Tell the school?  I think you may be out of touch with what is very normal for a boy that age.  The only issue with your son is that he got caught surfing the net for porn.

Looking at the situation deeper, obviously he does NOT feel comfortable enough to talk to you about his curiosity.  He went to the WWW instead of you.  Right?

So... that means it's up to you to go to HIM.  He's already told you through his actions that he's very curious.

Start talking.  Buy a couple books about sex for him to read.  This is time to take lead as a parent, not wait for him to get over his embarrassment to talk to his parent about penises, boobs, and vaginas.  I don't think the latter situation will ever happen.

You're already off to a great start by having raised it with him.

DD

[wendl]

Not Dr. D

But my son is almost 12 now he also went thru this it's pretty normal. We changed his access settings on the internet so you cannot access these sites.

I personally wouldn't call or tell the school if you have questions about this, contact hsi primary care doctor and ask the nurse some questions, many times the doctors office will have information packets etc and they will mail them to you.

Buy some books on the human body we have some really good ones at our house we used when my son was curious, luckily I have a very open son and he asks and tells me everything, haha at least for the moment.

It's tough sometimes, we just went thru the young mans dreams that have started to occur, son came to me and thought he had wet the bed, I informed him that he hasn't wet the bed since he was 2 and explained what had happened, he was a little embrassed then asked if this happened to his stepdad too when he was young, I reassured him this is normal and every young boy goes thru this, but not to tell his friends cuz many time boys will tease etc.

The human body is nothing to be ashamed of and make sure that your son knows all of this is normal and he will go thru many stages, In 5th grade my son had what they call sex education hahahah what a joke the class was, so it's best to try and talk to the child, if he/she is embrassed to talk to you, maybe suggest them talking to an uncle friends parent etc.

Good luck