Letting her choose

[Ref]

Ex told DH that she is going to allow SD to choose how long she wants to spend with us during the summer. She has also told her about events that she wants to do (that she probably wont do anyway) with her over the summer. Now she has put the decision to chose between DH and her on the shoulders of a 13 year old. She did the same thing to SD last year and it caused SD to get very upset, as well as DH.

There are now legal proceedings going on now because of her actions last year.

The bottom line is DH said that she should not make her choose, but Ex is going to anyway.

Ex is also studying to be a counselor or a psychiatrist.

I was hoping you could offer some advise on how to ease that burden on SD without backing down. Also, do you have any counselling books that says that you shouldn't make your child choose. I am hoping to appeal to her "counselling" side.

Thanks

[mango]

Can you discuss together what dates you want? ztell you have a vacation planned for such and such, and would likeher to join you? etc.

No, it's not up the child to choose, I would think the order states some specifics about when and how long etc.