Talking to son about what's going on.

[All of us are family]

Hello,

I was just wondering...my wife and I are seriously considering talking to my son about our current situation regarding what's been happening after my divorce.

I've been going through litigation with the ex for the past four years. Needless to say, it's created a very tense, emotional environment for my family.

My wife and I have utilized court-ordered counseling and have come to the realization of many things. Mainly, that I'm not the victim in this, neither is my wife or the ex. It's all about my son and how my response to this situation affects my son's mental, emotional and psychological well-being. As the judge at the last hearing reiterated what I've been "preaching" for the past year: I can't control her response to this situation, I can only control my own response, and that's the only response that I'm accountable to.

So now that my attention is focused on my son rather than the situation, I am pretty sure that my wife and I are ready to talk to my son about what's going on without the animosity, bitterness and hatered that we had a year ago.

I was wondering if there are any books that you could recommend that would offer us help with guide lines, or suggestions on how we could go about talking to my son about this situation without engaging in any parental alienation tactics.

Thank you in advance.