What constitutes child abuse?

[kitten]

I know a child who is experiencing mental cruelty by his mother and step-father.  SF buys him a Game Boy and tells him to call his Father and tell him he bought it with child support money.  Child wants to join boy scouts and is told he must "earn" it by doing chores.  Child is told Mother and SF will call police and have his Father arrested if his Father sends a home made birthday card with a copywrited image on it.  Child calls Father hysterical begging Dad not to send anything for his B-day because Mom will throw it away and call the police.  This child has previously not had any major behavioral problems and no physical abuse going on that we know of.  Please help with any advice.

[Forthelittleones]

I say this is emotional abuse.  However getting someone to listen to you is more important.  CPS here wont even lift a finger.  They hear divorce or custody and they say the child is having a hard time adjusting.  It could never be that the mother is harming the child, no way.  Then they hang up.  

Now you are left with a child who is being hurt mentally by his mother.

It is a sad situation.

[kitten]

That's exactly right.  Just because you give birth does not make you a good mother.  CPS does not care especially in the small town they moved to.  We have also found out that the SF is hitting them and sending them to bed without dinner for punishment.  The mother sits by with her thumb up her a$$ supporting her husband.  She is sick.  Dad's right to protect them has been stripped by our court system.

[backwardsbike]

I would think of enlisting the aid of the school or daycare.  Explain to them what you have told us. They are in most places madatory reporters.  If abuse is suspected they must report it.

tell them what you have told us and ask if they are noticing any changes in the children's behavior.  Tell them you are worried for the kids.

In most instances CPS won't take it seriously if it is a custody issue.  Or they get bogged down in he said/ she said stuff. Emotional abuse is very hard to prove.  It leaves no marks like physical abuse does.  CPS sometimes will pay more attention to third parties like guidance counselors or daycare providers.

Good luck.

[kitten]

>I would think of enlisting the aid of the school or daycare.
>Explain to them what you have told us. They are in most places
>madatory reporters.  If abuse is suspected they must report
>it.

Thanks backwardsbike, but SCHOOL or DAYCARE?  sorry to be sarcastic, but PBFH visits school daily to play her narcissistic game with the teacher and DAYCARE????  DH pays $1600.00/mo. so that she can continue her role as a SAHM.  We'll have to find another way...

[lah101]

     Is shooting them an option?  OK--a little sarcastic there--but I get so tired of hearing about these kind of people and nothing happening.  CPS is a joke---who can you turn to?  Maybe the FATHER?  He needs to take her to court for contempt--Usually there is something in the orders to try to get along--maybe he has that in his order?  It is up to the father to do something---how about telling him about this site?  We could sure give him a few ideas--but need to know what his order says.

[kitten]

Thanks, lah.  I am the father's gf.  I've been coming here a while for help and support.  We are in CA, the kids are in AK.  We had a witness in the trial that testified to witnessing this SF abusing a former step-child, but PBFH got permission to move with the children to be with him anyway.  The abuse of the other child apparently happened too many years ago to matter.