noncustodial parent seeking custody/unusual situation

[shanesmom1114]

Hi All,
I am a ncp of a 7 yr old boy. My sons father was awarded primary custody in 2001, when our son was 1 yr old. However for the past 2 yrs 4 months the child has resided in my home, going to school and doing wonderfully without any help from the CP. In june i petitioned the court for a modification of the custody based on the fact that my child had been living with myself and husband, as well as our other children for almost 2 yrs and was well established here, along with the fact that the childs father would disapear for weeks at a time, and i became increasingly concerned for my childs emotional well being, as he would be frequently upset when his dad would take off and refuse his calls.

I always abided by our court order, when the father saw fit he would take our son for weekends, and then bring him home to me on sunday so that our son could return to school.... here is my dilema:
As of last weekend my child did not return home to me, I had no idea why because the father would not return my calls until very late, when he told me that he was not bringing him home. I am devastated at this point as we had no warning/notice/time to prepare my son or his siblings for what was about to happen to our family, i recieved a call from my sons school the next day, they were asking why my child was being transferred to another school, that the father had requested records and that he was going to a school in deltona(an hr and a half away from me), which i thought was odd because the father had been living in port orange...
longer story short, after some digging and independant investigating i found that he moved with out giving any notice, and he is now denying me phone access to my child, as well as my court ordered visitation and will not give me the current adress, we are going to court for my MOD on the 30th(8 days).... do you think this is a sorry attempt for him to sustain his CP status?do you have any advice?? i am retaining a lawyer in the a.m. Also, do you think that these actions on his dads part will look bad to the judge?? i am so distraught and i miss my son terribly, i just dont know what else to do... thanks for any advice/support that you can offer.
*Shanes mom*~ Andrea:(

[Davy]

Shanes mom,

Based on what you have posted ... I have a strong opinion.

Uprooting a child in this manner from their environment is perhaps the meanest and cruelest thing that can happen to a child (and their loved ones).  

Fortunately you know where the child is located !!!

Characteristic of a parent that would take such an action is one of insecurity, selfishness, manipulative and a feeling of one upness as far as the law is concerned.  As example, my children's other parent absolutely refused to comply with any state court order of 2 states, and Federal court orders (and neither did the state courts).  Courts absolutely refused to enforce their own orders.  The possession of children is like money in the bank.   Perhaps I got carried away.


Of course I don't know your state statues but one thing you should clarify with an attorney is if the other will be able to change venue to where the child is now located thus avoiding/delaying the upcoming hearing in 8 days.  

One would HOPE that any court could easily see and acknowledge  the gamesmanship of the other parent (regardless of the CP status).  It would be good if you have the fullest confidence in the attorney you already have appointment ... if not get 2nd, 3rd, etc consultations as soon as physically possible ... no matter what.

Anybody and everybody will understand why you would be so distraught.  Try diligently (soft music, etc) to remain cool headed so to enable clear thinking ..the child is probably depending on your appearance (but may say otherwise)..    

The other parent has made a HUGE mistake in this child's life and the UPHEAVAL may follow the child into adulthood if he pervails .  Let's hope the authority will immediately short cut the effort and bring peace and dignity back into the child's life.

Best to you and your family in all things.

[Davy]

Shanes mom ... it is best to only post on one board.  

In your situation the Custody board would have been sufficient.

BTW, I would have advised a Dad in a like situation the same.

[shanesmom1114]

Hi All,
I am a ncp of a 7 yr old boy. My sons father was awarded primary custody in 2001, when our son was 1 yr old. However for the past 2 yrs 4 months the child has resided in my home, going to school and doing wonderfully without any help from the CP. In june i petitioned the court for a modification of the custody based on the fact that my child had been living with myself and husband, as well as our other children for almost 2 yrs and was well established here, along with the fact that the childs father would disapear for weeks at a time, and i became increasingly concerned for my childs emotional well being, as he would be frequently upset when his dad would take off and refuse his calls.

I always abided by our court order, when the father saw fit he would take our son for weekends, and then bring him home to me on sunday so that our son could return to school.... here is my dilema:
As of last weekend my child did not return home to me, I had no idea why because the father would not return my calls until very late, when he told me that he was not bringing him home. I am devastated at this point as we had no warning/notice/time to prepare my son or his siblings for what was about to happen to our family, i recieved a call from my sons school the next day, they were asking why my child was being transferred to another school, that the father had requested records and that he was going to a school in deltona(an hr and a half away from me), which i thought was odd because the father had been living in port orange...
longer story short, after some digging and independant investigating i found that he moved with out giving any notice, and he is now denying me phone access to my child, as well as my court ordered visitation and will not give me the current adress, we are going to court for my MOD on the 30th(8 days).... do you think this is a sorry attempt for him to sustain his CP status?do you have any advice?? i am retaining a lawyer in the a.m. Also, do you think that these actions on his dads part will look bad to the judge?? i am so distraught and i miss my son terribly, i just dont know what else to do... thanks for any advice/support that you can offer.
*Shanes mom*~ Andrea:(

[Davy]

Shanes mom,

Based on what you have posted ... I have a strong opinion.

Uprooting a child in this manner from their environment is perhaps the meanest and cruelest thing that can happen to a child (and their loved ones).  

Fortunately you know where the child is located !!!

Characteristic of a parent that would take such an action is one of insecurity, selfishness, manipulative and a feeling of one upness as far as the law is concerned.  As example, my children's other parent absolutely refused to comply with any state court order of 2 states, and Federal court orders (and neither did the state courts).  Courts absolutely refused to enforce their own orders.  The possession of children is like money in the bank.   Perhaps I got carried away.


Of course I don't know your state statues but one thing you should clarify with an attorney is if the other will be able to change venue to where the child is now located thus avoiding/delaying the upcoming hearing in 8 days.  

One would HOPE that any court could easily see and acknowledge  the gamesmanship of the other parent (regardless of the CP status).  It would be good if you have the fullest confidence in the attorney you already have appointment ... if not get 2nd, 3rd, etc consultations as soon as physically possible ... no matter what.

Anybody and everybody will understand why you would be so distraught.  Try diligently (soft music, etc) to remain cool headed so to enable clear thinking ..the child is probably depending on your appearance (but may say otherwise)..    

The other parent has made a HUGE mistake in this child's life and the UPHEAVAL may follow the child into adulthood if he pervails .  Let's hope the authority will immediately short cut the effort and bring peace and dignity back into the child's life.

Best to you and your family in all things.

[Davy]

Shanes mom ... it is best to only post on one board.  

In your situation the Custody board would have been sufficient.

BTW, I would have advised a Dad in a like situation the same.