child support laws

[mommy of three]

Hello all!  It has been quite awhile since I have last posted but have a few questions and/or comments.  My fiance was in a custody battle over the summer for his now 8 year old son.  His attorney thought (after thousands of dollars spent) that he didn't have a strong enough case and urged him to take this "joint custody" that the BM was offering.  Since his son lives over 70 miles away, the "joint custody" is pretty much the same agreement that they had before.....except that he now gets his son for 3 weekends a month, the entire school summer vacation, the entire spring break and most of Christmas break.  My fiance is also ordered to cover medical insurance for his son,  and his child support was reduced some, but not much.  
Now here is my question.  Why is he still ordered to pay child support while he has his son for almost 12 weeks in the summer?  While his son is here we have to buy him clothes to wear, buy extra food for the house, pay for a sitter while we are working, plus all of the normal expenses that incur while raising a child.  Why doesn't the court take these expenses into consideration?  I'm not against him paying support, I am just curious why it still has to be paid to BM when she doesn't have their son for almost 3 months.  
Another question that I have is this.  While they were figuring the new child support amount, BM received a credit for daycare expenses that she said she has to pay.  Their son has told us several times that he does not go to a babysitter.  There is usually nobody home when he gets home from school and he also told us that if his step dad has to go to work (he is on call) while his mother is not home, then he is left there alone and is told to lock the door and not answer the phone.  So it is obvious that she lied about the daycare expenses.  Now how do we go about proving this?  Like I said before, it's not that my fiance is trying to get out of paying, he has always paid support for his son with no complaints.  He is just tired of always getting asked by BM for more money for school clothes, activities, and such.  Then his son tells us that his mom is always telling him she can't afford to take him to the movies, or skating, or bowling, or whatever it is that he asks if they can do.  She never sends any clothes for him during his visits, so we have to buy him clothes for our house on a regular basis.  We are just tired of always wondering where she is spending all of this money because their son never seems to have what he needs.  

[MKx2]

CS is for "basic" living - roof, day to day clothing, food and utilities.  Extra things such as  movies or skating, as you mentioned, or a growth spurt requiring new clothes that wasn't budgeted for, are not a part of CS.  Sucks, but true.

To answer some of your questions ...

[em]"Why is he still ordered to pay child support while he has his son for almost 12 weeks in the summer?"[/em]

You said that his CS was reduced.  The 3 weekends a month, and holiday schedule (including summer vacation) is factored in to the CS calculation.  While it doesn't seem fair, in the eyes of the CS Gods, it is fair.

[em]"So it is obvious that she lied about the daycare expenses."[/em]

The ONLY way you can deal with this is to request (through the court) receipts for all daycare costs, as well as the past 2 years Income Tax returns which should show a deduction for daycare IF she is taking it.

All I can tell you about extra clothing during the year and when you have the boy is Get Over It.  All NCPs face the very same issues.  Just buy clothing for your home and DO NOT send it back with him to his mother's house.

It truly is NOT fair, but it IS the way the legal system works concerning CS.  Wish I had more positive things to say ... just make sure that you check on getting the daycare receipts, etc.  That is about the only issue you have that potentially could affect your CS.

[mudbunnies]

When my husband knew that his son was in public school and no longer in daycare he filed a pet for mod.

within his requests he did a Request to Produce and itemized the stuff he wanted to review, such as daycare RECIEPTS and cancelled checks paying for such, he also sent a subp. to the daycare for enrollment and attendance records.

When he was previously in daycare, my husband did the following calculations to justify the loss of daycare during summer and paying child support


Number of weeks in actual daycare

52 (yearly weeks) - 11 (summer) - 3 (christmas) - 1 (spring break)

equals 37 annual weeks of daycare expenses

weekly daycare charge $85.00, (in florida only 75% is allowed so
$63.75 allowable

so..... follow closely now

63.75 x 37 = 2,358 annual charge divided by 52 weeks of paid support

2,358 / 52 = $45.35 total weekly daycare expenses to be included in support calculation

then of course we multiplied by each parents percentage

this allowed my husband to reduce his share of daycare expenses from

$239.42 per month to $117.91 per month

by demonstrating to everyone that daycare is not always year round

most of the time you just have to bring it to everyone's attention or the person receiving the money does say a word, why should they?

its the person paying who needs to question it.......

so..... we asked for a modification, using the corrected figures, then using the fact that child was in public school and not in daycare at all....

[Imom]

This is what I was told, Indiana, the cp still has to maintain a home. But the rules were if you were current on cs then during the times you had the child for 7 days or longer you only paid 1/2. (if you paid 100 a week,during the summer weeks, the week of spring break, x-mas you would only pay 50 a week, as long as you were current.).
But now they have past a new law giving the ncp more credit for the time they have the child. And they did away with the only paying those weeks. I am told that old cases have to ask for these new rules to apply to them, but they are granted if asked. I'm cunfused by them, although we are the cp I think they should have kept the only paying half for those weeks also. I was also told that they don't count the holidays the ncp has the child because it evens out usally, but like in our cases thats when bm has ss, I guess that why I'm confused. If someone knows more about these new laws give me a shout. But anyway that what we were told, because the cp stll has to maintain a home.

[Kitty C.]

I don't have an answer for the daycare, but being a CP mom, I can certainly explain the CS during the summer.

The same issue came up with DS's father, since DS would spend the entire summer with him.  But the thing was, I was renting a two bedroom apt. at the time, which is more expensive that a one bedroom.  Even tho DS wasn't with me in the summer, I still had bills to pay like he was still here.  But the one thing I did make sure of was that he had enough clothes with him for any contingency, so that they didn't have to spend extra money on clothes.  Food was the only thing I couldn't help them with.

I hope this helps!

[mommy of three]

I guess I should have also stated that I have 3 children that I am the custodial parent of too.  Their dad doesn't take them for the summer vacation, he only gets them every other weekend, his choice might I add.  While I understand that the BM in our case still has to pay rent and such, the clothes issue is what burns us the most.  Their son is constantly growing and we are forever buying him new clothes.  When my children go to their dad's house for the weekend, I make sure they have adequate changes of clothing to take with them.  I don't feel that the NCP should have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for them to wear just at his house.  I also make sure that the little amount of child support that I recieve goes for their needs.  I very rarely ask their dad for extra help unless an emergency comes up.  
However, the BM in our case feels that she shouldn't even have to buy clothes for their son at her house.  She thinks that is my fiance's job.  She also feels that it is his job to pay for any extra's that come up.  She has never really had any child care expenses because her parents almost always had my fiance's son when he wasn't with us.  She sent their son to live with her parents for almost a year and didn't give them any of the child support that she recieved, she kept it for herself.  
I know how expensive children can be because I have 3 of them under the age of 7 myself.  My fiance's ex gets almost double the amount that I recieve for my 3 for her one child.  I just feel that if I can manage on half of that amount, why does she always need extra money?  It's like she expects to get paid for having their child.  She uses the money to get her hair and nails done, to go shopping with her friends, pays her car payment.......but not to buy things her son needs.  She always has new clothes but is always telling us that she can't afford to buy their son any.  She has even gone as far as to ask my fiance to pay her cable bill every month so their son could have cartoon network.  It just seems that greed is what powers her the most.

[MKx2]

Mommy (LOL - feel like I'm talking to MY Mom!),

I TOTALLY so understand how you feel!  I never even GOT any CS for my DS from his father (long story, over and done with now, no need to go into it).  Understand something here - you have a conscience and have the best interest of your children foremost.

Sadly there are far too many CP Moms who are money grubbers, out to bleed the NCP Dad dry.  It's a real travesty.

Just remember this - when you look in the mirror you are looking at an honorable person.  And never forget, there IS karma - what goes 'round, eventually comes round.

I truly do wish things were easier for you, but they aren't.  Don't eat yourself up with anger over it - in time the anger can/will destroy you, and your relationship with your fiance.