Fighting over increase

[MSRP]

If you wonder why I am posting different messages in different forums, it is because I am having issues in probably every aspect of being a non-custodial dad right now, so please bear with me...
Right now we are waiting for a court date to be set.  Long story short:  We were married for ten years, divorced in 2002.  Ex wife does not work, is going to college full time.  We have 3 children.  I have custody of the kids for 6 days every other week, 12 days a month.  I pay 41% of my income in child support, plus pay for half of the car note ex is driving = 48% of my pay.  Child support is my ex wifes only source of income other than grant money she gets for school.  Divorce papers state MOTHER shall take the reduction for the children for tax purposes.  However, ex wife does not work (has never worked) and can't file a return.  Last year before tax time ex calls me and tries to cut a deal- "I will allow you to claim the kids on your taxes if you split your return with me."  When I went to file my taxes, H&R Block said I was entitled to claim them anyways, without her consent, because she isn't working and CAN'T claim them, regardless of what the papers said.  So I claimed them.  Ex wife was furious, lots of threats, etc.  Eventually it blew over... until Bush sent out the Child Tax Credit based off of the filing the previous months... Ex demanded to be given the child tax credit, said she was "owed" the money, etc.  I said "fine, you can have it."  Then she added that she wanted half of whatever my return was the following tax season on top of the child tax credit.  I told her no.  Several days of threats, etc, followed, and she called the IRS to retport me for claiming the kids.  However, the IRS told her that unless my claiming the kids PREVENTED her from claiming them, then nothing wrong was done.  She doesn't work, therefore hasn't been wronged.  I decided to hire an attorney to get things fixed.  I sent a request for mediation, which she refused to attend.  So I petitiioned to simply have the divorce papers ammended to allow me to claim the children until ex wife acquired a full time job, and then we would alternate years of who got to claim the kids.  Ex counter-petitioned with tons of accusations, most of them being twists of the truth and others for just spite... one example was that I was in contempt for not maintaining health insurance on the children for the 3 months that I was ineligible because I had changed jobs... Ex had agreed to my job change, she even had agreed to modify support accordingly, we went through a lawyer and everything... but now she is trying to accuse me of contempt.  Also, the entire time the kids have always been covered by her own insurance that she has from the gov't.  So they were never uncovered.
She is also counter-petitioning that support be increased to reflect the fact that I made more money than what child support was calclulated on.  I received overtime this year almost every month.  However, I tried to get the overtime to make ends meet because I wasn't able to provide otherwise, as I have the kids every other week with no reduction in support to reflect my custody situation, plus I pay for a rental on an instrument for my oldest child that my ex refuses to help with (because I kept the tax return money).  
Just recently I found out that my oldest daughter (age 11) has missed 13 days of school this year so far.  All of those absences occurred on my ex's time.  When I asked her about it, she told me that she had been sick all those days and to call the doctor if I wanted to know when she was there... and that she had doctor's notes for every absence, and that what goes on at her house on her time was her own business, not mine.  I called the school and got copies of the notes... only one was from a doctor.  The rest were written by my ex.  I called the doctors office, they said she hadn't been to see them since 2001, and that the note that WAS written was because my ex had asked them to write it, that my child wasn't even brought in to their office.  
This is on top of several other instances where I had concern about the kids and I was told to back off or that it was none of my business... so this attitude is nothing new.
So now we are adding to our petition that my visitation be increased to Tuesdays at 8am till the following Tuesday at 3pm.... that is a full week, a perfect 50%.  I feel very strongly about doing this as I am concerned about my kids and their education, as well as other issues regarding nutrition and hygiene.
I am sure she will counter petition to that, asking that visitation be reduced from what it is presently at... can she do that?  That worries me.
My concerns are this.... what are my chances of being allowed to claim the kids for tax purposes when she is not working and I provide 100% of the support for the kids, plus have custody of them half the year?
Also, if she is going to go for an increase in support, should I counter for a decrease to reflect the time I have the kids?  I will not be able to afford an increase and keep the kids as much as I do, I simply don't make enough money to pay her and live.
How much consideration is given to the non-custodial parent for the amount of time they are with the children?  Would a reduction be significant or very minor?
I also have medical (and soon dental) taken out of my checks for all three children, plus pay half of any uncovered medical expenses, plus half of all extracurricular costs and other expenses (school supplies, events, school trips, etc.)  I am a VERY involved Dad- I go to every school function and have my own Parent Teacher conferences with all three teachers.  I am in weekly communication with their teachers via email as well.  I am not a dead beat by any means.
We know a court date will be delayed by adding our modification about visitation... that is fine.  But it just adds more tension to the already long wait.  What are our chances of being victorious in what we are asking for?  Thanks for all your help, and sorry this is so long...

[MYSONSDAD]

I am by no means an expert, but if you have documents of everything you mentioned, I would think it will go well for you.

Maybe you could talk to the school and see if their councelors or teachers would write a letter in your behalf, showing how highly involved you are with their education. By all means, hang on to all documentation from the doctors and their teachers. Sounds like you are a wonderful father.

Are you keeping excellent documentation of occurrences? Do you have a time tracker that will show the percentage of time you already have?

I have a simuliar situation with my tax return. Ex doesn't work. This year the custodial needs to sign a paper giving the NCP the return. I wonder how it will work on CP's that do not work.

"Children learn what they live"

[MSRP]

What is a time tracker?  All I have is the papers that specify the days and times I am to be with the kids.  I have never skipped a visitation (or been late on support, not once).
There is something that tracks time with the kids?  What does it do and is it helpful in court?

[kiddosmom]

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm

[MYSONSDAD]

Or you could get the Optimal which is very slick. It will also keep track of your expenses and milage. Great graphics.


http://www.parentingtime.net/timeout.htm

I think there is a discount for those of us from Sparc

[antonin]

1. Where these conditions (especially the fact that you have apparently agreed to CS that is not calculated on the guidelines of your state) part of a stipulated agreement?
Sounds like her and her lawyer blackmailed you into getting almost 50/50 custody if you agreed to pay more support than you should. If they did this once....they will really try to stick it to you when you ask for true 50/50.

2. Is there a time limit in your decree when the over-calculated support ends?


3. Do you pay alimony?

4. To have 50/50 with my daughter, I pay 1000.00 mo support (calculated as though mother has sole custody...3 year cap)  200.00 week alimony for 3 years, took all her debts plus her 67,000.00 student loan, plus paid her entire car payment and insurance.

[MSRP]

I am not sure what you mean by your first question, but yes, the divorce papers state how much I pay and how often I have the kids.... I never pursued a decrease before because I didn't want the kids to have less, because my ex doesn't work, but now that she is going for an INCREASE, after all this time that I have gone without taking a reduction...well, it makes me mad.
There is no time limit when the over-caculation ends... as far as her lawyer is concerned, I am not paying ENOUGH.
And no, I do not pay alimony.  Even though we were married for 10 years and she never worked, she is the one who strayed from the marriage not once but many times.  So no, alimony never really came up... she didn't want call attention to her misconduct....