help...

[MK]

Hi...new to this board, new to this mess, kind of in shock.  Would appreciate any advice or info if anyone has dealt with a similar situation.

Been married to my husband for 4 years.  15 years ago, when he was 19 he fathered a child with his then girlfriend.  Relationship was very bad, they fought constantly -- after about a year of on-again off-again she took the baby and left the state, not telling him where she was going.  No CS was ever court ordered.  He heard she got married to her ex-boyfriend.  2-3 years later, he received a letter from -- he thinks it was the state of Kansas -- telling him the step-father was seeking to adopt the little girl.  He thought that was the end of it.  And being young (and damn irresponsible) he didn't bother to keep the notification.  BIG mistake.

About a year ago, he made contact with his ex GF on the net.  She divorced her husband at some point -- bad breakup, didn't go into details about when and where.  She sent pics of his daughter, told him she (the ex) has been in poor health, life is in chaos, please send money.  He didn't hear from her again for a while, then got the same story again this year -- I'm sick, life is chaos, please send money -- we're in UT, need bus tickets back to AZ.   He said, give me an address and I'll see what I can do.  She gave him a cell phone # and address in MO.  This Saturday, we received a letter from the state of MO saying she has applied for aid in MO and he has been named the father, and he has until 9/15 to submit to a genetic test.  Needless to say it was a lousy 3 day weekend, and we couldn't do anything at all.  

We have been trying to get a phone consultation with a lawyer -- one finally called today and said, I don't know anything about MO law, will have an attorney contact you from that state within a couple of days.  Great -- we only have until 9/15, folks.

OK, so....these are our biggest concerns:

He believes the girl is his daughter; should he go ahead with the genetic test since MO says they will pay for it?

He thought all these years she had been adopted by her SD and had no idea where they were.  How can he find out if she was ever actually adopted?  Will the courts take this into consideration at all?

He has no problem paying CS now, if she was not adopted -- one of our biggest worries is that he will be charged for back CS by the welfare depts of who knows how many states -- UT? AZ? MO?  We don't even know where she was actually living and may have collected aid.  How far retroactive can they make this?  (I'm afraid of the answer).  

During most of the last 15 years, his income was very low -- he's only had a job where he got a decent wage and benefits for about the last 4 years.  Will the court only look at what he makes now, or will they look at what he actually earned during that time period?  Will they look at my income, or only his?  

Do we need to do anything to protect our joint property, like our home?  Is there even anything we CAN do to protect it?  He says he is willing to put it in my name only if it will prevent us from losing it.    

What is the maximum % they can garnish from his wages?  I've read 50%, 65%... Can they freeze his bank account if he is cooperating?  If we file a joint tax return, can they take my tax refund as well?  Would it be wise to file separately so my refund will remain untouched?  Or should we both just decrease our withholding so there IS no refund?  

Sorry guys, I know this is long and way too many questions.  I'm hoping that someone will have some experience or some knowledge about at least some of this....

in shock in CA,
MK  
     

[ocean]

First let me say I am not a lawyer and not from your state so....
From what I undersstand , as soon as someone goes for state aid, the state wants to know where both parents are and can they pay. If your DH is named the father (through paternity) he "should" not be responsible for the first 15 years....I say "should" not always the case but it sounds like this is the first time she is asking for aid so there should not be a negative balance yet. Child support is a percentage of HIS current salary (my state is 17% for one child). Freezing an account is a last resort so you should not worry too much for that as long as you deal with this now. Your salary does not affect child support. Never give your informtion....Tax forms...white out your info.....As for your tax return.....they will take your DH percentage of the refund. Best advice..change your deductions so you will owe a little. If you do have arrears , you can ask to pay it back slowly...maybe $50-100 a month. Hope this helps a little but you really need to call a lawyer in HER state because they will know the laws better.

[olegeezer]

absolutely don't respond legally, fight for jurisdiction. If you're not there, you have no rights. Technically, another state you were not in to father the child has no jurisdiction over you, no matter what they say. Check with a lawyer in your area how to inform the court of where ever that it's got no jurisdictio over you and the court should put the matter to the state where you both resided when the child was sired, if that's closer to you. is it? If you're there, great. Anything where you are is crucial. If you're not physically there, the court can run right over you without caring.

[jilly]

I can't answer any of your other questions but with regards to the tax refund they can take all or a portion of any tax refund (Federal and State) you may receive. They normally will send you a notice that they are going to do this and you have so many days in which to contest it. You can do one of two things: 1) File separately or 2) the IRS has a form called an Injured Spouse Form. Go to there website and read up on this. Basically, it is for this type situation.  They will deduct the percentage of the refund that applies to you and you will get that money. The percentage of the refund attributed to DH's income will be taken towards child support.
One other thing I would suggest, buy some income tax software. I did this last year and saved money doing it myself instead of having someone prepare our taxes.  You can then run different scenarios...what would your refund be if  you file jointly? What would your refund be filing separately? That way you can make a decision on what's the best way to file your taxes. Sometimes you come out better filing jointly because even though the State is going to take that refund that's less money you'll end up owing them. And it may even pay it off completely.  My DH had some arrears and we were notified that they would be taking our State refund. Next thing I know we're getting a refund check in the mail. Turns out they didn't take the whole refund! That felt pretty good!
Good luck to you and your DH.

[MK]

Thank you all for your responses.  I'm kind of past the panic and terror stage now, and moving on to the resigned, "what do we do now" stage...

The baby was born in MI, where both parents resided.  My husband has only lived in MI and moved to CA 6 years ago when he married me.  The girl's mom is now evidently in MO, but says she has been in AZ, UT, and we think she may have been in TX, possibly OH and FL, but don't know.  We have no idea what states she has lived in, and where she might have collected welfare.  

I posted this on the Socrateaser thread, and he said CA is only retro max 1-3 years, but has one of the highest CS rates in the country; MO probably has a much lower rate, but could be retro for a lot longer time.  I feel dumb, but I am clueless about this -- if the award was determined in CA, even if it was higher per month, does that mean that all other states have to abide by the retroactive time period of only 1-3 years?  Or do the other states each have their own rules, and will we have to hire a lawyer for each individual state she has collected aid in?

His daughter is now 15.  Whether or not she was adopted by another man, her mother is no longer with that man, and the girl has apparently been living in poverty and in unstable conditions most of her life, and he'd like to do something to help her.  His biggest concern is being so crushed by the financial weight of back payments and interest to multiple states that he will not be able to do anything to make her life better now.

We have been married 4 years and have always kept separate bank accounts.  We are seriously considering signing the house over to my name only to prevent a forced sale in a worst case scenario.  Has anyone else done this?  Would it work to protect our home?  Is it hard to do, or do we just have to talk to the bank?  

As for the tax refund, I think I am going to take the advice I've read from several people (including Socrateaser), and change our withholding to try to avoid having a refund at the end of the year.  But thanks for the tax software idea, too, and the "injured spouse" info...I think I will try that as well.  

I am glad I found this website; it's reassuring to know that others are getting through this too, and know we're not the only ones, and to see the support you guys give each other.