paying for preschool

[stepmom2morgan]

Hi.  My SD's BM decided to send SD to preschool and of course picked the most expensive one around.  She called up DH and told him she was sending her and that he needs to pay for half of it.  

She is a stay-at-home mom, her DH owns his own business, the CS is just icing for her.  Meanwhile we live in a 2 bedroom half-double and my 5 month old son does not have a room b/c the 2nd bedroom has always belonged to DSD and it's not like we're gonna kick her out of there.  

We are looking to buy a 3 bedroom house but are having a hard time finding one in the price range we can afford.  We could afford a much nicer home if not for the CS.  But that's fine, I knew about the CS when I married him.  It really ticked me off though that she wants more money from him to pay for a completely unnecessary thing like private Christian preschool.  

I don't even think it's necessary for DSD to go to preschool since she's very smart and has a stay-at-home mom who reads, talks and plays with her.  BM had said the same thing to me just weeks ago but now is on a kick that b/c DSD can't write her name yet, she needs to go to preschool or she'll never make it through kindergarten next year.  When DH asked her what she spends the CS on, BM said "clothes don't grow on trees!".  What?  $400 a month on clothes for a 4 year old?  Yeah right!  

Now she's all ticked off at us and acts like we're being selfish.  Doesn't she understand, we pay for an extra room for DSD, clothes for DSD, toys for DSD so she'll feel she is in her home when she stays with us.  And then on top of it, we help pay for all that stuff at BM's house too and have her on our insurance, which saves them tons of money. But we're selfish deadbeats.  Sigh. ;(

Anyway, my question is, since the court order doesn't say anything about who pays for preschool, private school, or daycare, we don't legally have to pay for this do we?  If she takes us back to court do you think we'd lose on this one?  Even if we do end up having to pay for it, wouldn't it be half of whatever the more reasonable preschools around here charge?

Best Wishes,
stepmom2morgan

[MixedBag]

DH's original order was in OH too (years ago).

Daycare/Preschool is on top of child support and then usually split according to income ratios.

If she's a SAHM, then I wouldn't pay anything if I were you because it's unecessary.

And private schools are usually not paid either unless the parents agreed to it at the time of divorce.