CP issues

[Hope]

Hi all.  I am new to post here but have been reading for advice for a long time.    Dh has many, many problems with CP, everything in the court order is suuuuper lopsided, such as transportation issues, time w/ each parent on holidays, and the fact that CP makes up all the rules on everything that isn't specified.  But I will only address the current problem for now.

As of this past Sept when school started for 3 SS's, we have been overpaying daycare funds (garnished and sent to CP) by about $250 per month since all 3 kids are now in school full-time.  

We would like to have the amount modified, because last time the amount was set, only one child was in kindergarten, the other two required full-time care.  Now the circumstances are different.

CP gets the daycare money directly deposited along with the CS and is allowed to pay it to whomever she wants for childcare, or she can pocket it as well.  Not fair, but that is what she was told by the caseworker when we tried to get it reduced last year via a "conference board".  Big waste of time btw.

For the last 5 years the kids have went to the same daycare and we have been receiving the statements from them proving daycare time, charges, payments etc.   Sometimes she would pay the money for daycare, other times she would keep it.  

But now, since the daycare requirements have been nearly cut in half, the CP knows that we could go and ask for a modification and she doesn't want to lose a dime, sooo CP is now taking the kids to her retired father for childcare and is paying him almost 3 times what daycare is charging per day.

We get receipts with grandpas signature (or forged signature) with the amounts paid to him for each month.  Plus we get letters in the mail from CP saying we owe even more than what is court ordered in daycare money to grandpa because the requirements have all of a sudden "gone up" and will continue to.

SS's are getting a little older now and are in school all day, requiring less care, so how can daycare costs be going up?  

The latest excuse now is that she can only work overnight trips, although never has before until now, (works for major airline) and so daycare must be provided by her dad for most of their care and it will now be more expensive due to this. This is a complete lie.  Dh works for the same company and knows this to be untrue.   Even if SS's do overnight more often, can CP arbitrarily pay a relative 3 times more than daycare for the kids just to sleep overnight?
 
Currently we have no proof of CP's work hours or schedule.  She can manipulate daycare needs anyway she wants to with her work situation.  We believe CP wants us to go back and ask for a change so she can plead her case of increasing daycare expenses and either prevent us from getting it decreased or possibly get it increased.  

Our state is a big time mom state (I am a CP mom also) so we are reluctant to ask for any changes due to past experiences.  

My questions are:
1. Can CP pay any hourly wage they deem necessary to a relative for in-home care?

2. If we ask for modification will state go off of CP's bogus hourly fee or will they use the hourly daycare fee from the daycare they have been attending?

3. Is it possible to have state get proof of hours worked?  Do we have a good enough reason to request such proof?  Will a mom state even go that far with a CP mom?

Thanks for any advice......





 

[thaotherside]

First of all if she has to work over night out of town, how come you don't get first right to have them stay with you. Do you live near her? Second, you need to be careful, it could go either way if you were to file for a modification, it of course could get lowered, or they could UP IT! How old are the kids? I would consult with a lawyer on this one. Sounds to me like you are dealing with a sneaky CP who knows what she's doing. Watch your back, learn the laws. Keep all the letters she sends you, respond (nicely) back with letters, read between the lines. You DO NOT HAVE TO PAY A DIME MORE THAN WHAT IS COURT ORDERED! If you do it will be considered a gift in any future court dealings and come back to bite you in the butt. But do check into first right to have kids over night if she has to be out of town.

[MixedBag]

Everything is possible....and like the other person said, you have to be careful.

Get some documentation together -- just like it sounds like you already have.

File for a "modification" based on the fact that all three kids are now in school and like the other person suggested -- ASK for a first right of refusal (to reduce the day care requirements (and cost).)

I'd also think about reporting her dad to the IRS to make sure he claims all that he earns as income)....

Your logic seems right.

One thing I suggest is to run all the numbers against an on-line child support calculator.  If your order is a few years old, you might find that the basic child support amount will go up because there have been pay increases since that was set.

That's the part that surprised my EX when one child emancipated.  He expected a "decrease" but when the numbers got crunched, he actually was looking at a pretty big increase since he got tons of raises since the last order was done (which was about 8 years old).

[Hope]

I wish that were possible, but the kids were moved 2 hours away from here by CP.  You hit it right on the button, we ARE dealing with a sneaky CP who knows exactly what she is doing, it has been that way since day one.  Does anyone know if a relative can be paid the same amount for daycare that a licensed childcare provider charges?  If kids have been in daycare and then are switched to grandparent, can CP just pay the same or more to grandparent and get away with it?  It seems to me it should be cheaper for a relative to watch the kids than a daycare center.
Thank you for your help.

[Hope]

How do you report someone for the childcare income, just call the local IRS office and they will take it from there?  
You're right, the support might go up, and the daycare cost might go up depending on how the CP manipulates the situation this time, so we are very reluctant to mess with it without a lawyer.

[elfoxx]

A couple things I would recommend...

A lawyer is a good one.

We are currently in a similar situation.  The NCP is working a minimum wage job on purpose to try to reduce his support.  We are about to go back to court in January on the issue (well, multiple issues).

Our lawyer sent out a rather large request of documentation for him to provide.

One you should be able to ask for is the grandpa's income statement.  He obviously would have to be reporting this to the IRS, right?  That could get serious if he 'neglected' to do so (because I'm guessing that he doesn't have the income going to him).

I know there are some child rules with regards to day care as well.  He might have to have a DCFS document to allow him to be a day care provider.

And, when you ask for those issues (they may vary by state as well), you might also find some other day care facilities in their neck of the woods that would be suitable alternatives (and hopefully much more inexpensive, as well).

Just my 2 cents worth!  GL!

[Hope]

Thanks for the advice...Can you tell me what a DCFS document is?  Why would a relative need this?  We probably wont be able to get our hands on an income statement, but I am sure there must be a way to report that to the IRS.  Any help is appreciated, thanks!