Child Support Troubles

[confused75]

My husband has a child to what can only be classified as a one-night stand 10 years ago. The mother did not contact him until she was 8 months pregnant. My husband sent money on a regular basis but was a new graduate and struggling to make ends meet. It was not until 5 years ago that the BM decided to take my husband to court (when he was making VERY good money). In the past four years he has made almost $90,000 in back payments and support to the mother and has been nothing but supportive. She is money hungry and to be honest has almost ruined us.

Two years ago we moved due to my job and as a result he took a significant pay cut. We nearly lost our house last January when his child support payments of $2,000 per month were more than our mortgage and his income only just matched this rate. His car was repossessed also. We have had to dig into 401K savings twice just to make ends meet. We were able to get the support order adjusted to $700 per month but due to another job change he is presently paying almost 40% of his wage to support his child. We have requested a change to this order again (in January) and our hearing is not until June...how are we supposed to survive?

We contacted the mother (who is located in Illinois) to request her place a change but she will not agree to it because she does not work and does not take ANY fiscal responsibility for her child (she told us that "she does not need money....she just prays"...however, she is quite happy to take our money which we work SO hard for).

Where is my husbands rights? He too was a child of a single parent and wants to do what is right for his child to ensure she is cared for but it is ruining us financially and the mother is taking no responsibility. We too want to have our own family but there is no way that I can stop working because of the way this is working against us.

Any suggestions are more than welcome!!

[reagantrooper]

GET USE TO IT!

Only 8 more years and your husband will be free from the bonds of state sponsered servitude!

Ait it woderfull to give away your hard earned money with no account of how it is spent?

[Ref]

Sorry, but I agree.

My husband has had to hold on to the same job that is emotionally tearing him apart and wishes he could change careers EVERYDAY. The reason he has to deal with this misery EVERYDAY.  Well, there are 2.

1. He is and has been the only parent that has held a job for over a couple months at a time for 10 years. 2. The court doesn't care about the non-custodial parent. They need to work at the highest paying job they can, no matter what. The custodial can be on welfare and getting an education for 10 years so that they can have a nice EASY life with the day to day contact with the child. If the non-custodial chooses to do that, they are foced to pay CS at the level they did at the highest paying job. The only way around it is to get laid off (not fired) and have it PROVABLE that he has been looking with no luck.

This is unfair but the way it is.

Best of Luck
REF

[rini]

hello

i might have a few suggestions for you but i have a few questions first


i see from your profile that you live in CO and from your post that your pbfh lives in ILL

where are the child support and visitation orders and does the mom claim any disability?

i will get back to you after you answer my queries.

[confused75]

The Child Support Orders are in McLean County in Illinois. I do not believe that there are any visitation orders in place but I can certainly check into the paperwork. As you can imagine, with the amount of money being taken out of my husbands account, he does not have the luxury of flying back on a regular basis to see the child. The Mother as far as I know does not claim any disability but again, I can do the leg work to find this out.

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.

[swilloug]

I can relate....

My husband received residential custody of SS in December.  Before then he paid CS and had some arrears.  We paid $900+ to her last month so my husband wouldn't be put in jail but they are not enforcing her to pay her big $109 a month owed.  

BM has NEVER financially support my SS, she has lived off state aide or now her husband.  Must be nice to have anything you want and never work for it.

Now my husband is being told he owes the state $3200 for her state aide.  We are in the process of trying to get it refigured since the system never applied payments correctly.

Good luck and I hope that one day we will actually have justice in the CS system.