Will I have to pay child support?

[JOE BLOW77]

Will I have to pay child support?
Here are the facts:

We share custody. After we found out she was pregnant she went on disability and said the pregnancy inflamed an old back injury. We never agreed that she would not return to work and she never quit. I repeat, she still has a job but does not go to it because they won't fire her and she won't quit. She is suing them for the back injury that happened prior to marriage. She is not disabled.
The marriage fell apart among other reasons was money. Soon her state disability check ran out and I was left with the burden of paying for everything. After I filed for divorce she filed a TRO and got me kicked out of the house and the court ordered I pay for all the bills. I ended up paying over $7,000 in lieu of child support. The house sold and she moved to another city (and did not provide a correct address) and I pad her total of $800 in child support. She stopped taking my money and told me she would not accept money.


I have no problem paying I just don't want to be screwed for the next 16 years.

She stopped taking my money and told me she would not accept money in person and I had to funnel the money to her through our attorneys. I stopped paying her because I moved out of my parents house (since I was kicked out of my house I could not afford my own place at the time) and my financial situation changed, plus she never gave me an address to send it to and I'm not paying my attorney to deal with this crap.
With all the BS she pulls am I going to have to pay? I don't have a problem paying I just don't want to get screwed.

[JOE BLOW77]

More details:

I live in CA and as far as I understand her income should be based on what her earning potential is and being that she still has a job they should base it off of that income which was equal to mine.
>

[mistoffolees]

>More details:
>
>I live in CA and as far as I understand her income should be
>based on what her earning potential is and being that she
>still has a job they should base it off of that income which
>was equal to mine.
>>
>


That is true, in general, in most states (I don't know the details about CA).

In my state (OK), the calculation includes the income of each parent, other expenses paid by each parent (child support, medical, etc) for the child, and the number of days spent with each parent. Even if your incomes are similar, if the child spends significantly more days with the mother, then you'd owe support in my state. IIRC, in some states, her income doesn't matter at all - it's based solely on your income. Find the child support calculator online for your state.

However, you still need to see an attorney. She can say that the doesn't want money, but if she changes her mind in 3 months or 12 months or 3 years, she can go to court and ask for support - and is likely to be awarded years worth of back support. Even if you actually DO pay her, she can ask for back support if there's no valid court order in place. And it sounds like she WILL at some point sue for support.

Don't accept uncertaintly. Get a court ruling on who owes what and when.

[Ref]

First of all, she is not accepting your money right now because she thinks that if she doesn't you will disappear from hers and your child's lives forever. She can cry "poor single mom" and you will be the a$$hole.

I think you should get a lawyer. A good family law/father's rights attorney. Fight for a parenting plan to be put in place. Every month, set aside some $ in a savings account. Estimate how much you think you would pay a month and put it in as though you are paying her.

BTW the other posters are right. She could and probably will come back ten years later and demand you pay back support and interest and you will be screwed.

I guarentee as soon as she gets served with the papers that you want rights to see your kids, she will counter for CS.

Having everything spelled out is the way to go anyway. She may think you are being a jerk for wanting every visitation detail spelled out. She might think she is getting back at you in having a proper CS order put in place, but honestly you will be better off.

If she lives in a different jurisdiction from you, you may have to talk to lawyers in her area and court may be there. If she and the kids lived there over 6 months (someone correct me if I'm wrong), this most likely will be the case.

Keep records of everything. Make NO verbal agreements. If you do have them, then before you rely on them have them put in writing and signed by the two of you.

Come back and ask more questions. There is such a great wealth of knowledge here.

Best wishes,
Ref

[JOE BLOW77]

Thanks for the answer:
I have both 50% physical and legal custody.  Juristiction is in my home city.  I like this forum.  There is alot of good info here.  thanks again

Shawn

[mistoffolees]

>Thanks for the answer:
>I have both 50% physical and legal custody.  Juristiction is
>in my home city.  I like this forum.  There is alot of good
>info here.  thanks again
>
>Shawn

That's a very odd arrangement - that you have 50% physical custody but live in different cities - especially for a child so young. Ignoring what the agreement says, how many nights a year is the child with you?

That increases your chances, but you STILL have to convince the court that it's in the child's best interest to change custody. The plus is that once the kid starts school, it will have to switch to one parent primary, anyway. The minus is that it will have to switch to one parent primary - and if she has more nights than you, it works in her favor.

[JOE BLOW77]

>>Thanks for the answer:
>>I have both 50% physical and legal custody.  Juristiction is
>>in my home city.  I like this forum.  There is alot of good
>>info here.  thanks again
>>
>>Shawn
>
>That's a very odd arrangement - that you have 50% physical
>custody but live in different cities - especially for a child
>so young. Ignoring what the agreement says, how many nights a
>year is the child with you?
>
>That increases your chances, but you STILL have to convince
>the court that it's in the child's best interest to change
>custody. The plus is that once the kid starts school, it will
>have to switch to one parent primary, anyway. The minus is
>that it will have to switch to one parent primary - and if she
>has more nights than you, it works in her favor.

I understand that even if both parties have 50 legal and physical sometimes the court designates one parent as the primary residence.  Hopefully they will either not do this or give me the title of primary residence.  If they givew it to her does that mean she is more favorable when it comes to deciding full custody?

[mistoffolees]

You're going to have to learn to live with it eventually. Once the kid starts school, you're going to be unable to maintain 50:50 physical unless you live fairly close to each other. As long as you're in a distant city, forget it.

As for 'deciding full custody', you need to be clearer. Physical or legal? The two are very distinct. It is quite common for one parent to get primary physical custody without affecting joint legal custody. In principle, they shouldn't be linked at all (except for the obvious that it would be hard to get primary physical custody unless you have at least joint legal).