Update on how things are going with ds....

[lucky]

[em]I remember that you guys were SOOO supportive last spring/fall when we were having so many problems with our son.  I don't feel really "safe" posting this stuff on the main boards here -- haven't for years since getting lambasted by some people who may or may not still be around (lurking anyway).  Anyway, I've joined parentskorner too and here's what I posted over there if any of you aren't members there.

posted on 10/9/04 on parentskorner[/em]

We have a SERIOUS problem here with our youngest -- he will be 11yo on 10/28/2004. He likes fire (among other things). He keeps setting things on fire in his room then, when he gets caught, he shoves the stuff under his bed. Last Monday, we had the fire department out here (an emergency call) and they were supposed to pass the info on to the fire marshal asking that he contact us regarding some kind of educational program so that our son understands the potential harm of lighting fires. So far, no word. I've looked online and can't find anything in our area (not surprised there though), although I did print out a bunch of stuff including pictures of burn victims in full color that I made our son sit down and read. I told him that anytime he thought about lighting a fire at all he should sit down and read them again.

Now the "other things". He has become increasingly violent and angry, and he's stealing (big stuff and small stuff) -- no matter what we do. He's simply falling apart especially over the last week. We had the cops here on Sunday (due to threats, violence and a buck knife he'd had hidden and, we found out later, he'd threatened his half brother with) and Monday (fire setting) and on Tuesday, he brought a roofing knife with him to school and when caught, told the principal and the police that he'd brought it to scare a kid who'd been teasing him on the bus home. Suffice it to say he's now being charged with a felony and has been suspended since last Tuesday until at least the weapons committe meeting next Tuesday -- who knows if they'll even let him back.

He has been diagnosed ADHD and ODD. We're trying to get him voluntarily admitted to a residential treatment facility, but that is difficult because social services refuses to help. Apparently social services feels that it is acceptable for our entire family to be at risk of physical harm and even death just so they don't have to put themselves out. However, the program in our city WILL accept him when they have an opening since my insurance will pay 100% IF they get the documentation they need from the medical/counseling providers. Getting the documetation from his psychiatrist (who is prescription happy I think) is turning out to be a HUGE chore even though he said in a meeting last Tuesday (prior to the knife incident) that the residential setting is a good thing for our son.

On the 19th, we have an appointment with a homeopath because his meds DON'T WORK! Even if he's in the treatment program, we're going to push that. I'm done with traditional medications -- we've tried a zillion different things and nothing works -- not without side effects that the doctors want to treat with yet more meds. The kid has been medicated with between 1 and 5 (at a time) different Rx's since he was age 6. Currently he's only on two - ritalin(for the ADHD) and clonidine(for the Ritalin side effects). We've tried: Ritalin, Clonidine, Wellbutrin, Strattera, Concerta, Adderall XR, Risperdal, Orap, and several others, I just can't remember their names right now.

On the 22nd we have the intake appt. for anger management -- he'll have to do one-on-one with the group coordinator because the group only accepts kids age 13-17.

Until last month, he was in individual therapy (for four years) and we discontinued that because his therapist said that he could not help him and that our son NEEDED more intensive treatment. In fact, this therapist has been advocating residential treatment for our son for 1-1/2 years, but until this past week, we hadn't found any program that would take him without a referral from social services or a court order. And we couldn't get a court order because he was too young to arrest so we couldn't get him in front of a judge.

And thanks for reading through all this! I'm feeling pretty good today, but this past week was hell.  :(

[em]posted 10/21/04 on parentskorner:[/em]
Dh and I brought him to the residential program this afternoon. The intake process took three hours. He was admitted to the 45 day assessment program at the end of which it will be decided if he should be admitted to the residential treatment program or released (to us) with specific treatment guidelines and resources in place.

It was really hard to leave him there. He was doing very well with the other kids and the staff, but he was fighting to not cry when we hugged him goodbye. So was Mom. I honestly think that this is going to be harder on me than him.  In spite of what he's done (and knowing the behavior wouldn't be changing without intervention of this type) he's still such a little boy.

Anyway, thanks for your ideas a couple weeks ago, he's where he needs to be, at least for the next 45 days and we'll see what happens after that.