a few ?'s. I need some advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Jankins13]

Hello,

I am 27 and getting divorced. My soon to be ex and I are in total agreement on everything. We have an 8 year old son together. We are getting Joint custody. I work 20 hours a week and earn 1200 per month, BM works 40 and earns around the same. I pick my son up almost everyday from school and watch him until BM gets off work, and I have him most of the weekends. BM does not want and/or need child support money from me. We have agreed to split any major costs that come up, but for the most part BM and my son are doing better than when we were together (They live with a new boyfriend in a big house now). Anyway here is the kicker: I do not have any medical insurance, BM has insurance through here job and our son is on DSHS insurance. Now I was told that they will make me pay child support no matter what, and they will take money out of that. BM will help me with whatever it takes, to try and not get them to take money from me because she knows that it will break me for sure.  Here are some of my questions:

1.   If she is not requesting money will anyone even care?? Will they make me pay anyhow???

2.   If we are getting divorced, and she is not requesting child support, than how would DSHS even know that we got divorced? If we don't tell them, how would they know?

3.   Would it be a good idea for me to get him on some sort of insurance? I could get some insurance through my work and then get him on it, but how much it all that going to cost?

4.   Now another thing is, I am a contract worker, and I have 3 months (at least 100 days, sometimes more) of unemployment every year. During that time I watch my son a lot, but my income is very, very low. Would it be a good I idea to wait until I am unemployed to get all the papers in, and then they will just go off my unemployment income?

5.   Will they actually go off my unemployment income, or will they say I am purposely under employed?? (Now remember my wife is not requesting the child support so no one is really pushing them to do anything.)

[seras5876]

Anytime your ex requests anything from the state, i.e. medical insurance they go after the father to pay. It absolutely doens't matter if she doesn't file for child support. I;ve been in the same situation with my ex and it didnt' matter that I only needed medical they still starting garnishing his check for a full 40% of his income wich by law they can take that much out! If you don't want to end up paying the only way you can avoid this is to never ask for their help. However if she filed for CHIP( Community Health Plan of Washington) they offer very reduced rates and its not "state" affiliated so they won't come after you.and its cheaper than you paying a copay out of your check!

Good LUCK!

[gipsy]

I'm not really going to answer your questions because I Haven't had your problem ,
  But I have a couple comments , I'm pretty sure that if you just Agrre and go to sign off on the divorce then there won't really be much asked ,
     Secondly < In a very nice way You should get a parenting plan filed , This sort of insures that You have [residential time] with Your kid  , Just in case she later changes her mind on the issues then You Have something in writing in a parenting plan that gives you the rights to your son , Be very nice ,

[dukadan]

Try to get as much time with your son in the begining in your parenting plan. Make her have to fight you back for time.   DSHS doesnt care about child support.  If you guys bottom out one day and she needs to get food stamps or go on welfare DCS (dept. child support) will be notified through DSHS.  A form will need to be filled out at the DSHS office at the time of the food stamp/ welfare application allowing the state to take over certain rights/obligations to get reimbursed from a parent who is not providing support.  Administrative hearings will be set up by DCS who will try to get the other parent to pay.  They always favor or feel sorry for moms.  The State does not care until public assistance has been paid.  

A child support worksheet will need to be filled out at the time of your divorce decree, parenting plan, are signed by the judge/commissioner.  He will look at the child support worksheet before he signs off on it to make sure the child will be provided for.  

 Read the parenting plan and make sure you don't do anything wrong as in paragraph 2.1 and 2.2.  You want to be the primary caretaker for the child (check the box father in paragraph 3.12.) Do not give her that one.

Unless you are sick they will say you are purposly under employed and could impute a set amount of money that you should be obliged to pay if it should ever come to that.