what's a father to do?

[spinner]

Hi,
Last night I discovered that my ex, picked up my kid at my place as it says in the order and then take him to her home (where her mother lives as well) put our kid in bed and 10 minutes after goes to her Boy Friend's home to spend the night (the grand mother take the kid to daycare in the morning).

I also discovered that on sunday, she works, noon to 8:30 pm and doesn't even bother comming back home to her mother's home where our kid is because he is already sleeping and prefer to go see her BF.

Bottom line is: why can't she then leave our kid with me ?!?!
what can I do for that? our court order state that I have the right of first refusal but it also talks about her having to ask me for 1st refusal if she can't take care of our kid for a day (technicaly she is gone for less than a day, ...)

any thoughts?

[wendl]

not much you can do, get your documentation, then return to court and specify the 1st right of refusual to that you have the 1st right when mom is at work or goes out with friends etc.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[spinner]

that's what I thought, thanks

you can never win :(

[c_alexander]

I something like that going on. In my case my ex was an EMT and worked a firemans rotation 24houers on, 24 off, 24 on, 24off 12 on, then off, off, off. In my divorce we had a social worker do a home study and it was because of thsi schedule that I inital got her recommendation. Later however she renigged that reccomendation after a secret meeting with my ex wifes attorney. Can we say BRIBE!!

Anyway in the decree I was suppose to get our daughte reverytime my ex worked a 24 hour shift.....NEVER happened. She had her elderly mother drive over an hour to spend the night with our daughter in my ex wife's home. For 5 years that happened. When I was finally able to filed contempt agaisnt her for it....nothing happened.

You could goto court and try and get this changed, however the courts don't usually care about what the mother does. That sound cynical I know, but it has been my experience as well as many others here time and time again.

I don't know what else to tell you. Have you tried asking her if you can keep the kids during this time? If you are documenting when and how often you are asking for parenting time above and beyond what you already have and she denys it time and time again that may (and I stress may) not sit well with the judge. I'd probably trying asking.

[spinner]

well that's kinda what I did, asked for me to keep him but, ....
it's always a no, ...

I know what you mean though, I will have to sit on that decision and maybe request the time thru her lawyer a couple of times to make it official and then, ... see to file a change, ...