I decided to settle in mediation

[lovebug]

It has been a long year since everything started with my daughter's mother. Yesterday we had mediation and through much prayer I decide to settle on my terms and make my daughter's life easier for now.

The reason I started the custody action was because my ex wife refused to give our daughter needed and prescribed medication for a skin infection that our daughter had for 10 weeks. If the medicine had been given the infection would have gone away in 2 weeks. Our daughter suffered leisions and severe skin scarring on her bottom and lower back as a result of the lingering infection.

Add this medical neglet in with the 95 doccumented and contempt filed days of denied visitation during 2003 and 2004 and I had a strong case in my opinion.

Unfortunately we live in ruralGeorgia. Daughter's almost never get taken from mother unless there is severe abuse goin on and DFAS has to step in and remove the child. My ex did complete a family care plan with DFAS and met all it's requirements to aviod state removal.

So here is our mediation agreement in a nut shell.


Visitation to change from eow and 2 overnight during each week to 1st, 3rd, 4th weekend Friday night, sat night and sunday night. I get all school holidays including spring break and Thanksgiving. Christmas vacation remains split. 2 week alternating in the summer with mom have 2 sets of 2 week time period 4 weeks total and me have 3 sets of 2 weeks time period for 6 weeks total. The summer time amount is still the same but daughter had a hard time being seperated from mom for 6 weeks continuous.

My ex has 4 years to make up all of the denied visitation. On a scheule to be determined with 7 days.

I have final say in all medical.

The kicker is that somehow I got in arrears over that last 3 years. I really am not sure how it happened. I am not even sure I was in arrears because opposing counsel would not provide a detailed summary of arrears for my viewing during mediation. He demanded that I was $5000 in arrears, which happens to be the amount in GA that I can be prosecuted for. I asked if they would accept $2500 to settle any and all arreages from the date of divoirce to yesterday's date and agree to all of my stipulations and they went for it.

I really don't believe that I owe her anything. I have overpaid several years and never sought a refund and I paid her before there was ever an order filed or in place. I know all that doesn't matter. I equate it as paying to see my child. It was basically a situation of 'if you want all of these things then I want money'. Which doesn't supprise me because my ex attempted to sell me our child when our daughter was 15 months old for a $10,000 support award per year. Meaning I would pay her spousal support in the amount of $10,000 per year every year until she remairred. I of course said no. Mostly because I only make $40,000 per year.

So I have a year to pay the $2500. I have the money now but I will probably put it in a 12 month CD or somthing and make a little money off of it.

All and all I am glad it over for now. I know it was the right decision for my daughter who had been so worried about things that she was becoming ill and miss a lot of school this year. I learned a lot about documentation (my lawyer and opposing counsel were very impressed/irritated about my binders full of documents) and you can bet I will be using these techniques in order to ensure that ex holds up her end of the bargain. I give her a year at the most before she is back to her old tricks. I am a patient person.

Our daughter will be 14 in a few years and we will see what happens then.

Thanks to all of youfor your support. I'll be around every now and then to talk/vent/celebrate.

Great good luck to you all!!

~D~

[gipsy]

thats a good plan any way , Amd if you settled out of court , Wash state < The case has not been decided by the court , so you can file again , But it sounds good !!

[nosonew]

I'm a little surprised the mediator allowed the financial aspect without proof, however, sounds like you have a GREAT deal regarding visitation. Is there anything in the paperwork to deal with future denials? Hope she stays on the straight and narrow...for you and your daughters sake! Good luck!