Being my own lawyer

[c_alexander]

Well, the time is slowly approaching for my move to Colorado. All my attempts to get my ex wife to agree to ANY kind of parenting time agreement has been for not. She doesn't wish to co-operate, but rather expects me to move there WITHOUT anything in writing and just work it out. I can't afford to take her back to court with my lawyer AND move so I am stuck being my own lawyer. I am fearful because her lawyer is an SOB. Although I am not sure she can afford to hire him to fight this, I can't count on that. As a result I am going to have to rely on the people of the online communtiy and call in some favors to get some advice/informations/support on what I need to file, what I need to do and how I can get a FAIR parenting time schedule out of all of this. Last 2 times I have been in court battles I have gotten majorly screwed because of child support arrears. Arrears that the state of Indiana created....not me.

[gipsy]

I have represented My self For issues other than Custody and divorce , If you search the internet  , And the SPARC site , You will find articles , About self representation, Also  Upon My good atty's advice I Watched a couple trials , This was very good , I just went to the court And asked to watch a family law trial , Involving custody , It was well worth the time , Also Understanding the system Is Important , Like here in washington state , It is very basic , The court won't really do any thing untill there is a Guardain ad Litem report , I would say if you do all that and can stay calm , AND Know what facts pertain , You could do well . WHY ? Do I say that ? Because I have fired two atty's and used two good ones . and the good ones didn't alway's have the facts so straight , And made mistakes because they have numerous cases , How can they keep it all straight ? If I knew what the pertaining facts  were , I could have done the job My self , NEVER Has any atty said any thing so astounding that I thought they were a genius But , Its much like public speaking ,, They can think on their feet in the court < where You may be nervous , However , If there is a parenting plan in effect for you , Then maybe moving there and enforcing it is the answer , Also if you interview enough atty's you will find one that will help you , Some just have a good heart , I could mention J Mills, of Tacoma Washington , He is a very real no frills atty , He doesn't charge an arm and a leg , And just takes you through the process , Of course  the mother of my son Got MR big bucks atty's whom is a big SOB . I feel that this is a money grubbing act on the part of atty's they asked for 20,000$ In atty fee's at trial .And did not get it , My atty "ONLY " Got a Guardian ad Litem appointed and talked to me on the phone a few times , Then we went to trial ,with that and I got a parenting plan , DONE DEAL !! , And charged $3,000,  Her atty wrote all the nasty letters , And deposed me etc etc , And the result was the court as usuall went by the GAL recomendation , And My atty told me " why do all this leg work for all this money "? The court will go by the GAL report " " Unless there is some reall wierd issue " The court will go by the GAL report " So I guess the Issue for self represntation is what Is a wierd issue ? Like My psycho made ALL the ALLEgations etc , I thought that was wierd , But the GAL did not find any of her allegations to be true except for my reaction  other than that , How do we know what a really wierd issue is , But here is the basics , And My atty told me this
    1  Read the parenting plan . If there is a section for dispute resolution DO it ,And set a Trial date , And set a court date If you can't resolve it than Appear on the court date,And the commissoner will decide the case, And here in Washington state You go before a commissioner in the beginning < because Kids have to eat and have contact with both parents untill they get a real trial before a real judge, So If you are satisfied with what the commissioner decided . Then you drop the real trial date before the real judge , If You don't like what the commissioner decided , You can "A" Wait till trial Or "B" Schedule a motion for reconsideration before a real judge ! In Washington it takes a year to get to trial before a real judge , SO you will be doing your homework , And when you talk to atty's do it with a pen and paper because a lot of times they will give you this simple information ,Real quick , And it is sooooo simple , Looking back at my case I wonder what I was soo upset about , I would move to where My kids were And  Try mediation , And file for a parenting plan And  take her to court ,And tell her to sign or tell the commissioner or judge why not, Its simple here and if she makes up stories then file again , MOTION TO APPOINT GUARDIAN AD LITEM ON BEHALF OF MINOR CHILD ,  If you get that far keep posting , Many people have been through this , And It seemed that I was losing at court dates , BUT that was because the Guardian ad Litem report was not in front of the commissioner , And when it was And the GAL recommended I have normal visits then the commissioner  Signed a court ordered parenting plan <

[TwoBoys]

Well - what do you have legalized right now?

Move there ASAP.  With or without anything in writing from her on wether or not you will get any time with your kids.

The simple fact youve moved into the local area should be enough of a change of circumstances to warrant a modification of any parenting plan you currently have, or if there is none, than it will certainly warrant the issuance of one.

as soon as you get there, make every attempt (well documented of course) you can to see your kids.  Document everything, right down to the minute, including eveyrthing you do with your kids.

Every phone call, letter, everything, includinmg (especially) between you and your ex.

File for a modification, and in the meanwhile, make every attempt possible with every free moment you have to see your kids.

Do NOT get discouraged just b/c she wont allow it.  

You should be able to at least get a hearing on temporary visitation fairly quickly.  

Good luck.  Ive rep'd myself MANY a times.  Im a single mom, and my sons father wont have anything to do with our son.  He only sees him when he wants to ask for a break in CS, but my H has a son whose mother wont let him see the kid unless she wants more CS lol.  Were on totally opposite sides of the same coin, but i can at least empathize with you.

BTW, my H is now representing himself as well and her atty is the biggest SOB out there.  In addition to just being a jerk, he refuses to cooperate on anything.  To the point that even when H's sons mother has asked for a settlement conference, he refuses to set one.

Just for the purpose of stalling, nothing more.

And they dont hide that fact whatsoever.

So... good luck, get out there asap.

TwoBoys...

[c_alexander]

First off, I would NEVER move there WITHOUT a piece of paper stating what visitation I am entitled too. My ex wife is not a trustworth person and can't be trusted to allow me to see my daughter. Instead she would most likely try to stick to the current arrangement, which would leave me screwed. I have already discussed this point with an attorney.

The good news is that she has agreed to try to work out some kind of visitation agreement. I made a rather strong arguement stating how much money and time she would save by us agreeing to a plan and having our judge put it into the decree. The Judge has already stated he is willing to do this also. My ex wife, who seems only obsessed with the money, has agreed to try and work something out rahter then shell out a few thousand to fly back here, goto court, miss work, etc, etc, etc. If I really wanted to I could make things pretty ugly by filing contempt charge after contempt charge against her. I have enough documented situations where she broke court order to keep her tied up in court for ages. I don't do this because the point is not to make her life hell, but to be there for my little girl.

So anyway fromthe looks of it, we are going to be able to hash something out and get it put into our divorce decree before the move. That way I'm protected. I get more court ordered time with my daughter, she gets to be with her daddy and my ex wife saves her precious money.