Summer visitation denial

[kitten]

Anyone who has followed my posts knows that pbfh managed to prevent spring break visitation for Will and skids.  Will's previous attorney got  an emergency hearing at the last minute and was able to get him a 9 day visit and some money from the blocked account to pay for it.  Last minute tickets would have cost $4800 for the visit. Judge also ordered that since parties are not communicating, that instead of splitting cost, they take turns and ordered that pbfh pay for June visit.  THEN...previous attorney went on vacation without telling Will, her office did not get him a copy of the order so he knew exactly how he was supposed to go about making visit happen and how he was supposed to communicate with pbfh who refuses to talk to him etc...  He fired attorney and hired his new one immediatlely.  New attorney says it is just too much of a mess and too late to get spring break visit and drafted a very nice, long letter to pbfh's attorney suggesting they call spring break a wash and focus on getting summer taken care of for the kids sake and get some agreements in place to make this easier on the kids for all future visits.  Attorney requested that since judge ordered pbfh to fund june visit, that she have arrangemnts made by April 15 to keep costs as low as possible.  Sounds reasonable, right?
Well, got a letter today dated April 25 from pbfh's attorney demanding that Will pay for and secure tickets for June since he got money from the account for spring break.  That HAD to be done because of pbfh not cooperating.  Will had to use half of that money to retain new attorney since old one kept dropping the ball.  Visit is supposed to be June first, NOW time is running short once again because of her need to make it as difficult as possible for Will to see his children.  She also was ordered to get an email so that Will can communicate with the children and also so that the two of them can communicate easier.  Pbfh gave Will an email address for the kids, but it is either fake or she gave it to him wrong!  He tried to email something to oldest son and he kept saying Mom didn't check the email yet and then finally he just said he never got it.  Will spoke w/pbfh about a week ago about it, she said that he should just give her HIS email and they will email him first because the computer is new and she doesn't quite understand how the email works. WHAT?!!??
Here we go again...the children suffer and pbfh will lie to them and tell them Daddy doesn't love them enough to pay for them to visit or email them blah, blah, blah.
I am pi$$ed off today!  Thanks for letting me vent!

[MYSONSDAD]

Didn't the Judge order the PBFH to pay for June visitation? How can her attorney overide that?

She is the twin of what I have to deal with. When are the courts going to wake up?

Have Will send each of his children a letter. There is a return signed receipt, which involves making sure only the kids can sign for their letters. Ask about this at the Post Office. Only the child the envelope is addressed to, can sign for it. This way, they will know how much Will misses and loves them. Include your e-mail address, so they have access to it.

My heart goes out to your entire families, I know, better then anyone, the pain, anger and total bullshit this is....

"Children learn what they live"

[kitten]

The pain, anger and bullshit is too much for us.  Our relationship is fading fast.  I have lost some respect for Will during this crisis.  I hope that does not sound cold, I love him with all of my heart.  He won't write those letters, he says it is too hard for him emotionally.  I will not be surprised if he gives up the kids altogether soon.  I can't say what I would do if that happened to me, but he has closed himself off, even to his kids.  He gives up easily and buries himself in his hobbies.  It kills me to see him like this.  My fear was that I would lose the man I fell in love with if he lost his kids and I have.  We went to a counselor for a while, which was really helping both of us but suddenly he decided the guy had an agenda.  He told Will he needed to live his life and be ready for the kids to come home someday.  Like I said, I can't imagine his pain, but I don't think I can help him either and it is taking so much out of me.  I have two girls to raise into strong women and I need to focus on them.  Will knows what he needs to do, so far he has only felt sorry for himself.

[MYSONSDAD]

Everyone has their own way to deal with situations. Will has had everything smack him hard between the eyes. I would be very devastated if this happened to me. He is probably doing better then I would do. Some experts tell you to take up a hobby, get your mind off of things. Like how could you forget?

Will was hurt by the system, and of course the ex, is just helping it along. I know someday those kids will be back. Just hope there is enough left, to bring him back.

Feeling sorry for himself will someday be a memory. With any luck, he will get back in the fighting mode. There is progress out there, slow but sure. Wish there was something I could do to help. This has got to be extremely hard.

As far as the counseling, ever think of continuing on your own?

"Children learn what they live"

[kitten]

We talked again about the counselor.  I do need to go on my own.  He says he will go again if I do.  I had hoped he would see he needs to go on his own, but I'll take what I can get right now.  He is doing better than I think I would too.  My fear is that when he does come back and start fighting again, it will REALLY be too late.  He has been talking lately about how it is his fault the kids moved away.  How he could have done things differently.  When he talks that way, there is nothing I can say to him.  Sometimes I feel like it is my fault for not recognizing how devestating an affair can be for children.  When we first realized our feelings went deeper than friendship, he told me if we got closer before the marriage was desolved, his wife would stop at nothing to ruin his life.  I tried to end it many times because I could tell he wasn't kidding.  We started a "close" relationship after they had decided on divorce, but he still lived there.  She says it was an affair because they were still married.  Technically, she is correct.  That became her reason to destroy him.  She is "happily" married now, but continues to make it her life's work to destroy Will.  In the process, she destroys her children too.  My husband was devestated when I left him for another man, but we get along better than ever now and he would never have used our children to get back at me.  He even wrote a letter to the court about how much his daughters love and feel safe with Will.  Thanks for listening...

[MYSONSDAD]

Sounds like your EX is one of the good guys.

I would go back to counseling. I still think this PBFH will be back with her tail, and horns, between her legs.

And you are so correct, the children are paying a very high price. How old is the oldest? At what age can they decide?

"Children learn what they live"

[kitten]

He's only 8.  Will and I had another blow up.  I will go help myself and maybe someday he will get help too.  
I just hope he can get his kids back someday and maybe me.  I just can't do this anymore, I can't carry him and me.  I will be around occasionally to keep up with whats happening with all of you.