Do I have rights? I miss my Son dearly.

[JasonAM]

I have a disaster that I need assistance working through.

On February 14 2005 my wife left our home in Portland Oregon on an airplane to California with our 11 month old son. A one-way ticket, without my knowledge and no intentions on coming back.

There's no abuse involved whatsoever. She filled for Separation and custody the same week she arrived. The court awarded her custody and she asked that I only have supervised visitation. Again, I live in Oregon and asked for a continuance but they went ahead without me.

I've made several attempts to see him but she is very elusive and 'hides' in undisclosed locations.

Currently I have both an Oregon attorney and a California attorney. Funds are minimal to non existent at this point.

I'm a great father. Just looking for advice on getting my son back.

[TPK]

If the child's home state was in Oregon, then you should've filed for custody in Oregon right after she left the state. You didn't mention wether you battled for jurisdiction. The home state is considered where the child resided for at least 6 consecutive months.

Now that it's approaching July, the child is nearing  6 months in California and you may lose jurisdiction to California. You might want to read up on the UCCJEA on the web to get more information.

I also have to question wether you wife was a resident of California long enough to even file for divorce/separation/custody etc.

You need to battle jurisdiction, or you'll be stuck traveling to the courts in Cali.

Good Luck


TPK

[BelleMere]

Sounds like a messy situation. Sorry it's happening to you!

The jurisdiction thing is one way to approach this, in court.

How detailed is the CO in terms of when and where you can visit your child? if it is vague, then you should go back to court and get it specified - you will see your child on the third weekend of every month, list times and locations. I also think you should fight to get unsupervised visitation. If there is no abuse, then there's no reason for supervised, esp with a child that's nearly 1 yr old and, one imagines, no longer breastfeeding.

The first thing I would do, right now, is send your ex a certified letter in which you state that she is interfering with your access to your child and that you will pursue a legal remedy. If you can find out what the California statutes say regarding visitation interference, include that in there as well as a copy of the CO with the text related to visitation highlighted. In our state, for example, it is illegal for one parent to deliberately "hide" the kids from the other and interfering with court ordered visitation can result in fines. In that letter, state the date and time of your next visit with your child. Forewarn her that if she doesn't show, you will file a police report.  Copy your lawyer, and hers. Then the next time you go down with the intent to visit, file the police report (she won't show, I bet.)

If you don't know where to find her to send such a letter, you do have a problem. Send it to whoever on her side of the family you have an address for. Sometimes just filing a police report is enough to fix things, esp combined with very specific visitation outlined in the CO.

any reason you can't move closer to your child?

[JasonAM]

Thank you for the advice so far.

I am fighting for jurisdiction. I filed for divorce and custody but not before she filed for separation in California. Her actions were premeditated and I was caught off guard.

Right now my California attorney is filing a motion to have jurisdiction thrown out of California and reestablish custody orders.

I understand it can be a slow process but it seems everything happened so fast for her. My attorneys aren't as motivated as I'd like them to be. I go from having my son everyday to not at all and it's killing me.

Are there any Pro-Father custody groups to assist in matters like this? I believe a child needs both parents. So many people abandon children and here I am fighting for every second I can get.

[TPK]

>
>I am fighting for jurisdiction. I filed for divorce and
>custody but not before she filed for separation in California.
>Her actions were premeditated and I was caught off guard.

How soon after she left did you file in Oregon? The "home state" statute though adopted by every state (I believe) is not a sure thing. Oregon can decline jurisdiction as being an "inconvienent forum" and California can claim a "significant connection" to their state. It's a crap shoot.
>
>
>I understand it can be a slow process but it seems everything
>happened so fast for her. My attorneys aren't as motivated as
>I'd like them to be. I go from having my son everyday to not
>at all and it's killing me.


It is a VERY slow process, trust me, I know what you're going through here, been down this road myself.


For good legal advice, you should post your story and questions to "Dear Socrateaser" on this board. He has helped many of us and seems to have a feel for what will happen in any situation.

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106


Good luck.


TPK

[dipper]

She left the state without your knowledge -okay, so you didnt file kidnapping charges at the time...the fact is, even now you cant find your child to even have visitations......

Does anyone know if this could be considered kidnapping?

[sheerdark]

>She left the state without your knowledge -okay, so you didnt
>file kidnapping charges at the time...the fact is, even now
>you cant find your child to even have visitations......
>
>Does anyone know if this could be considered kidnapping?


From what I was told it is not kidnapping so long as you are still married, at least in the state of Georgia.  Additionally, whomever has the child upon filing for divorce traditionally gets awarded temporary custody.  Lawyers always advise the women to get out and take the kids for this reason - however, I don't know of many cases where a lawyer will recommend for a man to do the same.  I know that mine didn't.  Good Luck, I feel awfully bad for you.  I get time with my child, but not as much as I would like - I can't imagine no time at all and not even any phone calls....Take care.

[JasonAM]

By law it is not kidnapping because we were married and had 'equal' rights to my son. Believe you me, I tried that angle.

My hands are pretty much tied until I can get the court order changed. Even then the logistics of the whole thing is just insane.

It's the year 2005 and I don't see any evolution of Fathers rights.

[dipper]

But, considering that now you dont even know where they are and you are not married and have the legal (and moral) right to see your child...

It is way too messed up that the courts dont consider this a form of kidnapping.  Your child is lost to you at this point.

Dont give up - keep plugging away at the system..

I never realized how messed up the system is until I married dh.  I was on the opposite side only, although my ex doesnt try to see the kids much - and I have asked him too....they need both parents.

It sometimes feels hopeless to be on the guys side and fighting the system....