My Situation. Oh and I'm a newbie.

[Puzzleface]

Thanks for having me here.

My (soon-to-be-ex) wife is looking to move from the Midwest to California with our 8 year old daughter.  She has a lot more support out there than here which is perfectly understandable.  I really don't have too much trouble with them making the move but I fear for my parenting rights.  She is going for full legal and full physical custody of our child.  She is trying to make the claim that, because I have had some mental issues in the past year, that I am somehow an unfit parent.  Last year I had a moderate mental breakdown and spent a week in a Mental Hospital.  They gave me some medications to help me cope and I have been fine ever since.  I love my daughter completely and I really would, at the very least, have shared legal custody so that I have a say in the decisions that affect her life.  I suppose I could fight this move and force them to stay here but then I fear it may breed resentment in both her and my daughter.  As it stands I hardly see my daughter (since I had moved out of the house back in May).  The wife is being very overly protective and will not let me see her unsupervised.  There is nothing legal that states that I can't see her unsupervised but I'm trying to make this entire process as minimally traumatic on my daughter as possible.  I don't want to act selfishly if it means holding my daughter back from being successful in a place where she has more support resources at her command than if she were to stay here.  

Any advice will be appreciated.  Many thanks.

[Kitty C.]

My first question is which state?  Because Iowa passed a new custody law last year that will make it harder to move away.

Get a damn good atty. and prepare for the fight of your life.  Our situation was the exact opposite.  We started in CA, moved to IA in 1993 (my home state), then Dad left 5 months later with DS, without my knowledge while I was at work.  He screwed up big time doing that.  I got DS back, but Dad refused to come back, forcing DS to fly out there every summer (all summer) and EO X-mas.  That may seem like a generous amount of time, but it's NOT.  DS could be a poster child for what happens when Dad is absent from a child's life.  DS lost his dad to cancer 3 years ago, when DS was 13.  Now he's gone forever and I have left a child who's dealing with so many issues.....I am now looking into an intense wilderness therapy program for him.

If need be, get copies of all your medical records and offer them up for scrutiny by your STBX, her atty. and the court.  Show you have nothing to hide and are NOT a threat to your daughter.  But FIGHT for her!  Because if you let her leave, your relationship together will be ripped apart.  You will no longer be a constant in her life and if your STBX is acting this way now, it's pretty certain that she will do everything she can to wipe you completely out of your daughter's life.   DON'T LET IT HAPPEN!

[MYSONSDAD]

You have a right to remain in your daughters life, fight for her.

There are laws in California in regard to this, check your statues.

Here is a site that will have some information. Glenn Sacks is well known here and there was a big move away case about a year ago in California.

http://hisside.com/glenns_columns.htm

There is a guy here who just moved from Indinana to Colorado to be with his daughter. I hope Chris reads this post. The best thing he did was move.

"Children learn what they live"