SAMPLE - suggestions welcome!

[BizyLizy]

I completed changed my original post & didn't mean to!

DH has custody of his girls.  BM get standard eow, etc. visitation.  Things have been going okay until recently, when we found out that BM is severly jeaprodizing the well-being of the kids.  Attempted suicide in front of them, smokes pot in front of them.  She just got out of the hospital for od'ing on xanax.  She wants to sign over all her rights to us, but we don't want that.

I heard that something new passed in Texas that if both parties agree to something & submit a signed agreement to the court, then the agreement is upheld by the court.

We just want to be able to have control over visitation, so that something like this NEVER happens again.  Can someone look this over & tell me what you think???

Thanks for your help!!!!!!!!!!!

GALVESTON COUNTY FAMILY COURT

In re the Children of:
DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT),
                                Custodial Parent,
   and
BM (Non Custodial Parent),
      Non-custodial Parent   

Case No.: XXFDXXXX

Mutual Agreement to Modify Existing Court Order

Due to recent and ongoing circumstances, the parties, DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT), and BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT), have mutually agreed that the following modifications to Case No. XXXXX are in the best interest of their children CHILD A, a minor child, and CHILD B, also a minor child:

1.   That DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT) shall at no time prevent BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) from seeing the children when BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) is physically able to care for them.

2.   That BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) shall notify DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT) in the event she is unable to care for the children.

3.   That DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT) shall at all times foster and encourage a relationship between BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) and the children, by allowing phone contact with the children, visitation when appropriate, and mutual communication between the children and BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT).

4.   That DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT) shall have the exclusive right to determine visitation possession by BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT).

5.   That BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) and DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT) can revoke or modify this agreement at any time by mutual and signed consent.


Dated this ________ day of ________________, 2005


(Signature Lines)

[Kitty C.]

1. That DH (CUSTODIAL PARENT) shall at no time prevent BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) from seeing the children when BM (NON CUSTODIAL PARENT) is physically able to care for them.

I would add '..physically AND mentally......' (you don't need to cap. 'and', just did it here for effect).  Because she might be physically able to, but that doesn't mean she's mentally able to.

[janM]

If she's got that many problems, will she have the judgement to know when she's able to care for the kids? Are you allowing overnights? Unsupervised visits?

If she thinks she's bad enough to sign her rights away...does she even want time with them?

I hope it works out, but I don't think I'd be as trusting as you. JMHO.

[BizyLizy]

I'm sorry to sound so calous, but I'm so freaking angry right now!  She finally killed herself last night & the doctors couldn't revive her.

She left behind two beautiful girls who love her more than anything.  The girls are supposed to start school this Monday.  A nice way to start the school year out, eh?

What a fucking legacy to leave behind!  She was the biggest loser in life, and she died one, too.  I just can't believe how selfish she was to do this to her children.

Another life lost to drugs and stupidity.  Such a waste!

[flewwellin]

I truly hope that you are keeping that opinion Far away from the childrens ears.  The last thing that those poor babies need right now is their step mom talking like that around them.  (you'd be surprised what children actually do hear) What you need to do is either hide or deal with your anger towards their mother (it is a justified anger ) and step up and be the most loving person on earth to them now, they really need you.

[BizyLizy]

I was venting.  

Thank you for your concern, but I know the difference between typing angry words on a forum, and keeping my feelings in check around the children.

I am also well aware of what the girls need right now.  I realize the unconditional love that they have for their biological mother. However, I've been the only loving mother in their lives for the past 6 years, whether or not they know it, or even acknowledge it.  

Stepping up to the plate is something I did long ago for these precious girls.

We've been crying, hugging, and even laughing (through tears) today.  I had my time to vent w/ my dh earlier today when the kiddos were still asleep.  I may come across a little crude, but I'm not a complete idiot when it comes to the tender feelings of children.

Sorry to be a little defensive - it's not a good day for me.

[BizyLizy]

I just re-read your post & then my post & realized that I'm coming across really strong.  My apologies

I really do appreciate your concern & I understand what you're saying.

I also understand why my previous post would set off alarms in someone's head.  

Let me assure you: I have scar tissue on my tongue, from biting it so much.  No one ever told me that taking the high road would be so darn fustrating!

Anyway, please keep us in your prayers.  We'll need all the blessings we can get in the coming months.  God bless!

:o)

[Brent]

>She left behind two beautiful girls who love her more than
>anything.  The girls are supposed to start school this Monday.
> A nice way to start the school year out, eh?

I'm very sorry to hear this, Bizy. :(

This'll be a difficult thing for the girls to deal with, and my heart goes out to you. Counseling would be something to consider for them (I'm sure you're way ahead of me, but I thought I'd mention it).

Again, my sincere condolences. We all wish for solutions to our dilemmas, but not like this. :(

[BizyLizy]

Thanks Brent.

It's been a while since I've been around, but SPARC was instrumental in helping my dh get custody of his girls years ago.  SPARC was also a wonderful place to let me vent in a safe, supportive environment.  And when I could, it was great to help others out in similar situations.  I've met so many wonderful, amazing people here...

I've always valued your no-nonsense approach & dry humor, Brent.  Can't tell you how many times you had me rotflmao.

There is a certain amount of relief, but we never dreamed it would turn out this way.  We called the family counselor first thing yesterday morning & she'll be a great person to help guide us during these next few months, and certainly years to follow.  She's been with us the past 6 years & we think of her almost as a family member.

Thank you - and everyone - for your thoughts & prayers & advice.