hygine, and lets daughter call other man dad!

[williammw]

divorce history: divorced aug 2002, joint legal,and physical(which is a damn joke)layer quit in mid divorce case(couldn't deal with "X" and walked out of court)    ;(    i think u get the picture, turned bad!


   everytime my daughter sydney comes to my house she's dirty, both privite parts are red as hell!!!  rash it looks to me(she is 5yrs old by the way) gets a bath at my house EVERY night, i apliey a&d to her bum and cuttie  and it goes away with in 2 days, i've been putting up with this for a year now and frankly im f#$king sick of it, talked to mother about it and she says she doesn't know why it happeneds(what the hell of a mother dont know a damn thing about her child!!!!!!!!)   the poor girl cant even get into my tub w/o screaming in pain cuzz this shit hurts her so bad, i dont know what goes on over at there house but its not right!
what am i to do?  i've tryed telling the "X", threatining the "X" about this there seems no end to it what do i need to do to keep my "X" up with this and to keep my sanity when she comes back to my house with this rash?





   my daughter comes over and calls me the guys name the "X" is with and calls him daddy, asked "X" to correct her over and over till im blue in the face to. but she keeps saying "i let her call him whats shes comfortable w/  what are you going to do take me back to courtfor something petty , you'll never win that one "   and she LOL and leaves,
i know its not the childs fault and im dealing with that but i cant keep picking up the bottle every time she leaves knowing she's calling him daddy,just to forget   ,what do i do!!!???    

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[MYSONSDAD]

This is bull sh!t! You have one sick PBFH on your hands. She clearly does not deserve this child.

Next time you get your daughter and she has this rash, take her straight to the hospital, let them know that she comes to you this way everytime you see her. Let them document, turn mommy dearest in.

You have a golden opprotunity to turn this around, but handle it carefully.

Document everything, get witnesses. But get her medical treatment, and let the doctors go from there. Once you establish the fact she has been abused,  you will have the ball in your court. CPS will be called in. If you don't have an attorney, I suggest you get one. File for an emergency hearing and get temporary custody.

One thing you can do to ease the pain of a bath, is baking soda and luke warm water. Aquaphor is a godsend for bad rashes. It works in hours, not days. Also very good on sunburns.

You do not mention if you want custody. How often do you have parenting time? This is inexcuseable and needs to be addressed immediately! I don't know how you kept your sanity.

I know some feel calling another man daddy, is okay. Not in my book. I am the father and I have earned this right. You can have this amended in court, by having a clause put in to specify, only you can be called daddy.

[joni]

careful William, hate to piss on your parade here but the SAME exact thing happened with my stepdaughter.  Taught her to clean herself, medicate herself for her rash on her privates and just found out the stepdaughter (coached by a physical abusive mother, we have the photos with bruises) accused me of molesting her.

the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I don't think it's a battle either one of us will win, we go to court wednesday for change in custody based on child abuse.

in hindsight, my advice to you is the day you pick her up, see if she has this rash, take her straight to the pediatricians THE DAY YOU PICK HER UP.  tell them it's an emergency, sit there until they see you.  don't trash mom.  be mr. nice guy dad, concerned for his daughter's welfare, and say you just picked your child up from the mom's and this is the way you got her.  let them document her.  if it's late, take her to the ER.

keep doing this, keep building your documentation....maybe...some day...the tables will turn in your favor.

[dontunderstand]

Gotta agree.  Take her to dr./hospital immediately~every single time!  As for the daddy thing, I know it is tough, but remain calm explain to her that you are her daddy and the only one that can be no matter what anyone says, keep telling her, she knows and will continue doing so!  Stick with it and tell her often that you love her often.  It will get better.  Document, document, document.

[smtotwo]

Dh's ex MAKES the kids call her husband Dad.  THey know who Dad really is and we don't make it an issue because they get punished if they don't call him Dad.

[MYSONSDAD]

About a year ago, I had something like this happen to my son. I was shocked, did not know how to handle this. I knew our son was being programmed mentally, which I have been battling and had to deal with that,  with each visit and had no idea things would elevate to this level.

I have friends who are EMT's, another who is a former CPS worker. This is what they told me.

Take child to the hospital directly after pick up if the rash is present. Be a very concerned parent. Questions to ask.  What is causing this rash, what you can do for it now, how do you prevent it, how did she get the rash in the first place.

After your daughter is examined and you find out from the doctor  answers to all of your questions. Gently let them know, the rash has been there in the past and you would like to know what you can do to help prevent it. What steps your daughter can do on her own to prevent the rash. You want to plant a seed of doubt with the doctor, do not openly accuse the mother. Make it clear, you just received the child from the mother in this condition.
They should take it from there.

In my case, by the time I had found out the right way to handle my situation, the abuse could have been placed on me. I learned a very important lesson, which cost me a chance for custody.