Merry Christmas to all my friends here at SPARC!!!!!!!!

[Kitty C.]

I know it's been a long time since I've been here.......and I just wanted to let you all know I haven't forgotten you and miss you all very much!  But my schedule with computer access limits my time severely.

Much has happened and one of the greatest changes have been with SS's mom and how she's interacting with us.  We're seeing a LOT more of SS for this reason and her and I are conversing quite well now.   If you would have told me even a year ago that we would be at this point, I'd have told you you were full of it up to your eyebrows!  SS was diagnosed with ADHD this fall and I was the only parent she knew who also had an ADHD child.  She had a lot of questions, especially regarding testing and medications.  And she's followed a lot of the advise I've given her, as well.

One Friday night after she dropped SS off, we talked for quite a while on the deck.  When I came back in, SS had a grin from ear to ear.  I know it's because he realized that finally we were all on the same page for HIM and not fighting against each other.  And since her divorce was finalized last month, she brings him over to us every Sat. evening till Sun. after 6 pm., then every Mon., Tues., and EO Wed. mornings at 5:45 am., since she works 6-6 every Sun.-Tues. and EO Wed.  SS is just loving it and so is DH!

And for the FIRST time since SS was 2 years old (he'll be 12 in Feb.), he will get to wake up in his father's home on Christmas morning!  I happened to mention something about it to SS a while back and one morning he told me that BM said it would be okay, so I told SS it was a secret just between him and me.  I'll go over there tom. night to pick him up to surprise his dad!

DS went to Oregon the week before Thanksgiving to a wilderness therapy program and will be graduating from there on Jan. 20.  He ran into some legal problems before he left, which he will have to make amends for when he returns, but I know in my heart that he is where he needs to be right now, holiday or no holiday.  His therapist faxed a letter from him today and it has to be the best present I have received so far!  Much more positive, more accountable, more forthright.  Even his therapist told me she was impressed with the determination and focus he put into writing it.  

I had just faxed a letter to him on Monday and apparently I said everything right, because it seems it had a profound impact on him.  We still have a lot of work to do when he gets home, but I know that he will remember this program and what he accomplished even fifty years from now.  I know that a lot of the negative behaviors he's exhibited in the past 3 years are a result of losing his father.  And I know now even more than ever how ABSOLUTELY vital a father is to a child's life.

DH and I are closer than ever, even with all the trials and tribulations with DS.   He is still struggling with recovery, but understands even more the effect it has on those around him.  And with the family counseling and aftercare we will be working on with DS, I hope to learn more coping skills and how to be proactive, not reactive in dealing with him.  All in all, we've had obstacles to overcome, but we're steadily working on them and moving forward.

I think of all of you here, my friends, quite often and regret not being able to interact with you all like I'd like to.  That doesn't say I haven't been watching, because I'm still trying to keep my finger on the pulse of these issues.  Many strides have been made and there is still a long way to go.  But our future generations will be the ones to reap the fruit of all your labors, so NEVER GIVE UP!  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.......I pray that you all are able to enjoy the love of your children this holiday season!

[evalisto2005]

I don't really know anybody here yet but Merry Christmas to you too and to every one else here.