Father seeking advice & direction on custody - I’m lost

[davisjames]

My advice.....Don't move out.  Make her do it.  Keep the kids with you because that is their home.  Don't deny them the right to see their mom but do not give up your every day routine with them.  Attempt to adjust your work schedule so that you can spend as much time with them as possible.  Go in and conference with their teachers and principle and let them know about the drastic changes coming in their lives and establish a line of communication between the staff and yourself to discuss any struggles your kids may have as a result of the split.  Go immediately and file for temporary custody during the seperation based on the fact that you are staying in their home and they need the stability right now.  Think carefully before you say or do anything regarding your kids because your every move needs to be based around them right now. I know it is hard because you are going through a rough time to but these efforts will pay off.  I did not take my own advice because I wanted to divorce to be over with as quickly as possible so I agreed to a lot of things verbally that I should not have.  It took my 3 years to get back 1/2 of the time with my daughter.  Start out with everything but do not undermine the importance of a relationship with their mother.  Remember this....the court believes that it is best for your kids to have a good relationship with you and their mother.  WHen their mom goes into court and wants full everything you can put her in a legal box.  You are asking for substantial time for both of you while she is being selfish.  NOW WHO CARES ABOUT THE RIGHT THING FOR THE KIDS.  Find an attorney who has a passion for your case and go with your gut.  

James

[davisjames]

I noticed that someone else gave the tape recorder advice.......It really works.  Find one that you can hook up to your phone line and take along with you.  I purchased a tape recorder at Wal-Mart for 30 bucks and a device to hook it up to my phone line for another 30.  My x has gone so far as to admit on the phone that she filed false police reports against me.  It's really been quite useful.  Just remember that you should check your states laws regarding phone taping because I live in Michigan I can record any call to my phone but can only use the ones I am a part of in court.  IE I can tape record my x's conversations with my daughter (which I don't usually do but sometimes she talks to her mom and then her mom wants to talk to me again so the recorder is still running) but I cannot use those tapes for anything because I was not a part of the conversation.

[msme]

I know someone else said this but I will repeat it & add to it. When you HIRE a lawyer, that person WORKS for you. You are the employer & just as your employer oversees your work, so you must do the same with your case. It is your job to know what you want & make sure you communicate it to the lawyer.

This is going to be expensive but remember that a cheap attorney is like a cheap tatoo. It is painful, the results stink & it costs a bundle to repair the damage.

Interview several & ask the following questions:

Are you or any members of your firm a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist? (this is most important, you need a specialist)

What percentage of your firms clients are fathers seeking custody?

What is your firms success rate in defending these types of cases?

If they are reluctant to answer those questions, along with any others you have, or you are not comfortable with their answers, RUN & find another.

Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[mishelle2]

I totally agree when they said DONT MOVE OUT OR ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO, TELL HE IF SHE WANTS TO GO, THEN GO BUT YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT LEAVING, THEN I BELIEVE YOU CAN FILE FOR TEMP CUSTODY,AND AS THAT THE CHILDREN REMAIN IN THE HOME,.. POST ON SOCS BOARD HE IS A LOT OF HELP