Phone call interference

[dipper]

The custody order states that each parent has phone priviledges with child until 9 pm.

In December, BM had her home phone disconnected.  She began using her work cell phone # only.  She kept internet connected by cable.

She then complained in court that her employer was complaining about the calls between dh and ss  - that they needed to be limited to 10 minutes.

Nothing was put in court order to that effect.

Now, she claims that instead of the employer, she is paying the bill and times ss and dh - 10  minutes....usually 8 is more like it.

And....she is listening to every word ss is saying.  He is 14 and she will not let him go out of the room...she stays beside him.

tonight when dh and ss were talking, dh caught ss in a lie....when he tried to question ss about this...she kept saying...."Tell him its none of his da**ed business."

Any suggestions?

[MixedBag]

you post alot about different constant problems you're having with the custodial parent.

I think you have to pick and choose your battles and look at the wons that you can win and the ones that you won't.

IMHO -- some of what you wrote isn't relevant in the long run.

Mom must provide phone number for phone contact.

Order says phone calls must happen before 9 pm.

After that it's all up to interpretation.

SO -- can you say "phone interference" when you're talking about who is paying the bill?  Nope.

Limited time?  Nope.

The lie the son told?  Nope

That she was in the background? Yep -- but not that's not a strong subject on it's own.  

That's something that I suggest you teach the child to deal with during your time with the child.  

During YOUR time with the child when Mom calls, openly say "Go into another room so you can have a private conversation with your mom."   Or "I'll leave the room blah blah blah..."  Do that a few times, and then switch to suggesting that it would be nice if it was that way all the time, huh?  

Then it would be RIGHT if it was that way all the time...

Then Wouldn't you like it that way when we talk?

See the progression?

Take it slowly so that the child will get the picture all by himself.  THEN you have a better shot at "unsupervised" phone calls down the road.

And yes, once you set the example, the progression can start or continue once the child returns back to the custodial parent.

[Imom]

if you have already been to court over this why not take it back and ask that you be allowed to provide the child with his own cell phone to call him on-for him to call you. This way bm nor no one else pays but you!!!!!

In dh's co he must pay for calls while ss is her care and she while he is in dh's.

we got ss a prepaid one from virgin mobile that we can lock up and limit out going calls to 3 numbers. This may be a little more $$$ maybe you could find a service that has a phone that has these features in your area....ss can only call our home and cell plus with it being locked bm can not get the number.

we pay 25 cents a minte for the first 10 minutes then 10 cents a minute after that per day.....I noticed that they are offering different plans through virgin mobile but we don't use the phone that much (bm only has ss during the summer, springbreak, t-giving and e/o x-mas).  for our plan we have to add at least 20 dollars every 90 days or we can add 90 dollars to keep the activation for a year which is what we did then we only add when its low.

just a thought/idea you could try!!!!!